I was the victim.
I was the beaten.
I was the ravaged.
I was forsaken.

I had no faith.
I had no strength.
I put the smile on to cover it...

But now... Something has changed..
I never felt this way.

I am happy.
I am strong.
I am faith-full.
I am me.

I let go of fear
I let go of blame
I let go of anger
I let go of shame

I let myself see
The value in me.

In March, I'd like to call you
and calmly speak into the phone,
asking, "Have you been my rapids
while all this time
I have been a stick of gum?"
My flavor shocking your tongue
wrapper strewn
on the sidewalk.
Just an hour later, you stuck me
to a telephone pole,
and continued on with your day.

A moment. That's all it took.
We started with nothing, but created what turned out to be the best time of my life.
We took a walk, no destination in mind.
Ended up in the woods. Walking, talking, laughing. Just loving the lives we were living.

An unknown path, led us to where we are today .
A quiet hill, calmly overlooking the lake.
Waves crashing on the shore.
Wind breezing through the trees.
A moment we sat.

We talked about the summer, for it was the first day.
Ideas turned to plans, plans turned to set dates.
A moment we planned.

We planned what turned out to be the most amazing memories we've made.
Maybe the best we'll ever come to make.
A moment we were alive.

Now we sit, remembering those days.
Enduring the pain of the new Now.
Wishing we were there once more, away from the hell we've come to know as today.
A moment we reminisce.

I hope to never forget those days.
Without you I wouldn't be who I am today.
Without me you claim the same.
A moment we changed.
*But forever we will love.

I don't owe you.
Not a **** thing.
But still you're in my mind.
Surfacing from anything.
I hear your voice.
It burns deep into my chest.
But you no longer speak to me.
And I know it's for the best.
You did this.
It wasn't me.
You ******* it up.
Now why do I feel guilty?

My body wildly craves abuse
It begs me to work for pain
So I push myself to the edge
Or sometimes over it
But as I am still young
In a sense, my body can handle it
Or at least I like to think so
So I'll hurt the next day
(From running 8 miles)
Or I'll puke my guts out
(From partying with people)
But anatomy is super cool
Our bodies can gain muscle
Process alcohol
Consume drugs
Experience a variety of things
But we will heal
Repair ourselves
And do it all over again

My body is addicted to attention
As well as probably yours
And his
And hers
We beg inside for pleasure
We work ourselves to find someone
Or something
To make us feel better
(At the top of our game)
A significant other to touch us
Or a sweet sweet to munch on
Or a work out to sweat it out
And we are young
So we want as much as we can
(We can't get enough)
To last us the rest of our lives
And experience is part of it
I want as much experience as possible
Because in all honesty
I don't know what I like till I try it
Pretty much that goes for everyone
(Most of the scary stuff is in your mind)
Get past it
I crave experience
Good or bad

My body thrives on achievements
It begs me to keep up the good work
I push myself because I'm young
Things are easier to do now
Compared to later
I see older people struggle with everything
I want to keep these muscles I have
So I will work them hard now
(I will run and lift weights)
I want to keep my mind open
And I'll experience a bunch of things
(Drugs, drinks and ***)
So I will have fun crazy stories to tell when I'm old
Cause that's all old people are good for
Telling good stories
Right?
So I'll continue my journey
Through all the new experiences to come
The only thing I wish
Is that I would've started this journey
A LONG TIME AGO
(I've wasted half my youth)
And that disappoints me deeply