It's been five years now.
Five years flew by,
five years into thin air,
five years forever gone.

I cannot remember a time,
where I felt more anger,
hatred,
disgust.

I carry these emotions still with me to this very day,
in hope that I will someday wake up,
and no longer feel them.

Sometimes I find myself waking in the night,
calling your name,
reaching out for you,
only to feel cold sheets on the other side.

I write this to you now,
not because I am lonely,
not because I am desperate,
but because I love you.

No matter how much hatred I feel,
I always will love you.

I love you
I love your inconsistency,
I love how you ruin my day
and make it up to me
when the moon starts to show.

I love you, I love you, all of you;
All of what's left, and all of what
you could become in the future;
all the scars on your skin
making you lovelier than ever.

I love how you bleed and
how you could hold onto the thorns
that consumed me; I love your innocence
and your childish needs.

I love your mistakes and
our constant arguments,
I love you, I love you being there.
I love how you see me
when I'm at my prettiest;
and when all my troubles build
like walls around my chest;

and you'd sit, you'd stay,
you'd watch, you'd know,
what makes me tick,
what makes me grow,
what makes me run,
what makes me want you more;
I love you, from the surface
down to the core;
I love you,
with all my aching soul.

Saw him again...
Too awkward to say hi...
Probably doesn't remember...
5 in the morning...
Asleep on the basement floor...
Casually wave...
*Guess not.