There's a first time, for every last time

I've always wanted to fall for a poet,

Someone has to budget in, the cheap love & wine.

******, ******, misinterpreted.
So wrongly guided.
Molded into hands that hate you.
I can't pick my head up this time...

It's 1:00am,
Thoughts are catching up,
This is when all hell breaks lose,
My heart begins to beat faster,
The tears flow freely,
I press my hand to my mouth to muffle the shouts of my anger towards a world so cold and distant,
It stifles to a sniffel,
I close my eyes for a moment,
Wave after wave of exhaustion hit me,
But I toss and turn like the sea,
Too many voices, too many scenarios,
I love the King and the King loves me,
I still feel so empty,
Maybe a few more episodes will fill the wholes of all the times you forgot to say you loved me,
Mom and dad, more like suicide and death,
I love the King, and the King loves me,
It's almost six,
Time to mentally tear myself apart,
Sigh

You are all encompassing, my peace

Shaking back into your skin

Love is just an awful tendency you try to stray from.

I want what the Universe wants;

Either God is God! Or he's not..

Lawn mower lullabies,
Suburb smiles,
Cut you down to size,

Waking up with him, makes waking up worth it...

Diluted to 5% acidity,





:







I absolutely hate, my thighs.

It's one of those corner handed walls,
Cracked tiles and half smiles,
Holy Spirit,
Present,
I like the way the lights light up the ceiling,
Nothing else,
Your voice calms me,
I've got a lot of people,
Playing hang man,
Trying to fill a void,
Where God should be.

Did you see the church? Hanging in your tree.

These hills play better music than the radio could ever dream of.

I hope we don't end up lustful, & not content...

Death with benifits

I like this side of my door, I like the lock on it.
How there's no key. Solid wood, pretty. I like the boxes I can stack against it full of the things I promised myself I'd never open again. The diseased words of people I thought I meant something to. They stick nicely with tape.
He said tonight's the night like any night, to lose it. I leaned my head against the concrete, staring at the castle I built infront of a door that should've been a window. Cause there's on one to play with. I make myself sick to my stomach thinking. I'd rather be puking from drinking. Where's your friends Madison, where's your friends. What were you thinking...

You will always be mine,
Even if I'm not yours...

I focused on the sound of exhaust as he pushed it down my throat, clenched my fist as my eyes watered to the feeling of gravel on my knees. He said he had a goodnight.

And I wanna be selfish.

is it bad, that I've never made love,
but I sure know how to ****,
My favorite line,
From my least favorite song.

The sky cracked open,
And a voice screamed God I can't do this,
I hate you,
YOU BREED THESE MONSTERS YOU LET THEM LIVE WHILE THESE CHILDREN ARE DYING THE WORDS WITHOUT SUFFERING THERE IS NO COMPASSION RING THROUGH MY HEAD THEY NO LONGER HOLD ANY MEANING TO ME IM JUST A ROBOT A SLAVE TO MY OWN NOT UNDERSTANDING A FATHER DOESNT SIT IDLE WHILE HOS CHILDREN ARE MAIMED GOD WHERE ARE YOU I CANT SEE YOU ANYMORE YOUR LOVE USE TO BE LIKE A WAVE NOW IM STUCK HERE ON THE SHORE DRY SAND BETWEEN MY TOES THEY SAY THE TIDE WILL NEVER REACH ME BECAUSE I REFUSE TO SWIM I SAY ILL ATTRACT THE SHARKS WITH ALL THESE WOUNDS IM HOLDING IN

You're just a pain that I refuse. It hurts real bad, but I wouldn't know I burried it deep, in last winters snow...

I didn't understand the feeling, of crumbling bones until I decayed at the sound of your voice calling her name. At the foot of the stairs, all I could bear. Was the quiet reminder, * I've seen you naked*. So many times, I blushed & looked away. No one was there, but the past ghost of what were. Stood still between the ten feet, gaping hole. Of I told you so. 8 years of love, wrapped up tucked to bed. I still remember the feeling of your hands on my łïpš, brushing past my hips. To clip away the wings, I grew. Without you, with you. Suddenly it's okay to cry, caters to

I want silk sheets
wrapped around my body,
Feel the cool wet sand beneath me
Hear the lulling waves,
As the moon crys out to the tide,
Come back, come back, come back
Close my eyes and maybe not wake up

You killed the author of life, but God raised Him from the dead.

Moths just want to be warm..

God told me our fingers & skin match like clay & paw prints perfectly. But I rubbed the dust off your wings. I didn't mean to make you not fly.

Boys with lengthy hair, trembling voices &, sparrow tattoos.

3 minutes to sit down, the rest of your life to walk around. Down town is my favorite, artist never look in your eyes. They're scared, one day they might just see. Your eyes.

I want to know how to play the piano perfectly...without my clumsy fingers tripping over the keys. Id play you a million songs, just to watch you sleep...

Wish me away, if you'd please.
Id fall and crumble,
Like the leafs under your feet,

You say wow, like its goodbye
Something about harps,
You whisper,
I can't get you out of my mind,

Inner locking our fingers,
The words,
It's easy if you tried,
Dance across my lips

It's like dating a ghost.

Speechless like an undertow,
Barreling towards the sandy coffin you always expected but never wanted to admit.

Breathless like tongue tied gills,
The light ebbing from your eyes, the water is cooler inside.

Lifeless like when he tells you he doesn’t have the capacity to love you but he has fallen for another.

We’re all speechless in this undertow, barreling unexpectedly expecting to be hurt but not quite ready for that sting. I am breathless from tying my tongue with yours every night for months and never being kissed back. I am calm, I am collected, I am collecting myself from you. My life is less without you but I am more.

Self portraits & honesty are my favorite,
I fall in love with them everyday,
To see a person as they see themselves,
Crafted by their own hands,
Then add honesty,
Do they really see themselves with that high a cheekbone,
That crooked a smile?
Always a mystery no matter how much honesty,
I fell in love at an Art Gallerie,
No one told me not to

I wished you lived next door, maybe in the next town over, not in another state.

I just want to want to want to be alive. But I don’t have any wishes left.

Travel the piece across the board,
Roll a six.

Making love is like sky diving for the first time with someone you love.

I brushed my teeth naked today, cleaning the wounds inside and out.

Turn on me, turn on me, turn on me,
The veins in the corner of your eyes,
They do a dance, & angry dance,
I watch the colorful orbs,
Surrounded by white,
Exhale & inhale,
Anger.

A shout into O                V  I
                            B   L  I           O N
A rush of wind, no time to flinch,
Busted lips,
I'm sorry.

Can you be mine?

You drink all the milk out of, the bones & the marrow . My cell count is down to three point one. Hospital love, is so contagious.

today I shopped, I shopped because the pounds had dropped. Sunk to the bottom of my ghost town stomach. Melted out of my sunken eyes, dripped from my cracked lips.

The changing room lights accentuated the rolls and zig zags in my stomach. The lighting strikes and scars that the battle at the dinner table left behind.

You grin with satan, & sleep on the breast of God. For that, I shall never understand.

Soft tendrils, fall to my feet,
The shear slice befor the break,
Freedom,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
One more,
I fell asleep a lion,
Aloft.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t find happiness, even in the nooks and crannies of life.

Nothing mattered, other than the desperation of needing each other.
Just that consummated closeness.
A craving.