Pillowed chest cavity,
Accordion to articulate the pressure in my clavicle.

A firm press to seep out the excess,
To access my insides,
To accept I’ll never be like those other girls.

To drape this weight along my neck, is too much to bare. I’d hand it off to you, but you’re not there.

Atlas

Living on the edge with so many stipulations, suffocating

Nothing mattered, other than the desperation of needing each other.
Just that consummated closeness.
A craving.

I’ve got a hunting dog on my back, he sniffs out my sadness, he’s always on the right track.

Speechless like an undertow,
Barreling towards the sandy coffin you always expected but never wanted to admit.

Breathless like tongue tied gills,
The light ebbing from your eyes, the water is cooler inside.

Lifeless like when he tells you he doesn’t have the capacity to love you but he has fallen for another.

We’re all speechless in this undertow, barreling unexpectedly expecting to be hurt but not quite ready for that sting. I am breathless from tying my tongue with yours every night for months and never being kissed back. I am calm, I am collected, I am collecting myself from you. My life is less without you but I am more.

She said I’ve got a problem with parents
And I said what about when you are one
And she said I never will
And I said you already are

I wanna have enough friends that two people can carry the cake out when they sing happy birthday