Sometimes I feel the urge to walk the halls of the forbidden forest to witness the stars at their greatest potential and the moon at its finest hour but those times are hard to come by when my mind only leads into the abyss.

Dangerous in its own
and meaningless to most;
this state is forever  
and I can't seem to find the reason why.

Doctors and nurses
shove results down my throat
while parents and friends
wear sympathy as a coat.

I don't want your apologies.
They do me no good.
Believe if they did
I'd accept them,
I would.

It just doesn't work
with so much pain and ache.
An "I'm sorry"
cannot fix
such a serious break.

I know you feel bad.
I know you can't do much
but please please please
don't say that I should
embrace this crutch.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

The waves being able
to go as they please.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

Water as blue as
the bruises she hid.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

Ripples swaying
like she does in her sleep.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

Drowning herself with ideas
like she would in the tides.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

Parts unexplored
similar to her own.

She never enjoyed
the thought of the ocean.

However the shore was her safe haven.

My heart floats in a bottle of wine
Beating against the glass
Throbbing with the waves

My heart floats in a bottle of wine
It was dripping off your lips
Half gone in no time

My heart floats in a bottle of wine
My blood being the alcohol
My skin being the kick

My heart floats in a bottle of wine
You were drunk
But not wasted enough

My heart floats in a bottle of wine
Finishing with one more sip
It went sinking to the bottom

Memorizing your features
as if they were a test to fail.
Every crease on your cheek
deserved one hundred percent.
Each sparkle in your eye
deserved extra credit.
The way your hair curled at the end
deserved a gold star.
However the material
I studied was wrong.
The test was true or false
not multiple choice.
I spent too much time
focusing on appearance
rather than taking notes
and now my score
is low enough to crash.
You were worth a perfect grade
but I am not an A+ student
and never will be.

Oh I can break your heart
but all you've got is me.
I can leave you.
It soon will be.

That's an issue
you can't address
without the fear of
being worth any less.

I'm the one
that "loves you".
That phrase is poor.

You're here only
for my purpose
and nothing more.

This is a poem
of control and self increase.
There is a larger puzzle
to your smaller piece.

You're blinded by my "love".
You can't see past the mistakes.
Telling friends of excuses.
Giving me the biggest breaks.

All that is proven,
the power belongs to yours truly.
Shedding tears.
Asking for advice newly.

I will move on.
It's easy for me
because empathy
is sparse you see.

I've left already
but the memories stay.
Burdening you of
of a darker day.