Oh how do I wish I could meet him
the love my life
we would be great
but yet again here is the issue
he's not of my kind you see
I witness him through a filter
and he doesn't recognize me at all
his eyes cut through mine
as if by magic
his hairs curl in just the right way
becoming similar to waves
under the sea
his voice can crumble me to the ground within a second
he has his flaws yes
and I do mine
but we can be as flawless
as a porcelain doll
put together like a pair
our worlds do not cross
each other's paths are
anything but close
we have yet to meet one another
in the best future
hopefully we will.

I don't want tomorrow to come so I stayed up till 1 a.m. stalling the night wishing the future could disappear and the past would vanish in time.

Smile for the picture.
Hide your feelings
they'll fade soon

Fake your laugh.
Choke back your thoughts
until you see the moon.  

Showing love,
showing comfort,
is just a child's game

and pulling back the arrow
is useless without
a perfect aim.

They want to see you flawless.
No eyelash out of place.  

Let alone a tear
streaming down your precious face.

Wishing is an odd thing don't you think? It's false hope wrapped up into small objects and suspicions. We grew up thinking eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, birthday candles, and 11:11 were magic charms that make wishes come true. As you get older that thought changes. Eyelashes are just hair. Wishbones are just bone matter of another animal. Dandelions are just plants with fragile ends. Pennies are just pieces of copper worth almost nothing. Shooting stars are just rare sightings of rock floating in the air. Birthday candles are just a myth that are lit on fire to be destroyed. 11:11 is just a time in history. They are just that. Nothing. We grew up being told these parts of life are filled with stardust gifted by god just for us, but in reality they are just as magical as you and I. I've wasted too many wishes and too much hope. It's time to grow up. It's time to learn not to put hope into objects that
have no real power.

Feels like your guts are rotting and brain is eating its way out of your skull as you attempt to erase all true things about yourself from society.

I care too much.
Why can't you see?
That loving you
is hurting me.

You are a toxin
I'm not ready to face.
You are poison
dressed in cotton and lace.

Tumbling, rolling,
falling in my mind.
The thoughts of you
so sweet, so kind.

Stuck in this state.
It's hard to read
that my life's a play
and you're the lead.

You broke your promise.
You promised you wouldn't go back.
You said you were done.
What do you do?
Break apart every word we said.
Separate the conversation we had.
I want the best for you.
I want you to be happy.
You don't care I guess.
I'm just another voice in your head.
I'm a worthless sound.
You are going to regret it.
I tell you now.
This will end badly once again.
This time I won't apologize
because you had it coming.