reach into my soul
make me feel brand new
pull my heart strings
break my bones
leave me out to dry
let me blow in the wind
all i really want is just
to feel something again

i want to put you on a pedestal
shine a bright light upon you
because i know what your going through
been there my self too
you don't think your beautiful
you think you'll never amount
i want to put you on a pedestal
to show you your just brand new
your hands may tremble and you feel insecure
you don't like all eyes on you
but that's what were really here for
all eyes on you all lights aimed high
so uncover your scars and break your binding bars
you have always been on my pedestal
you just never knew

the sound of your laugh is the sound
of me not wanting to die anymore
the last day of this month could quite possibly be
the saddest day of this entire year
this has been the best month of my life and i don't want
it to end.

how
can time be both a curse
and a blessing
all at once?
i suppose it's similar to the life of someone
who is trying to die but keeps
on existing
someone who keeps the door for second chances
closed but never
locked.

one thing i've learned recently
is the difference between someone
who will love me always despite anything and everything
and someone who says they love me
because they're weak with word withdrawal and need
to hear it back.

i used to trust everyone, anyone
who would show a little bit of affection, attention
toward me. i'm glad
that phase is over.

untangle your limbs
from the odd position
you wake up in
comb your fingers
through your knotted, ginger hair
streeetttchhhhh.
sit up,
look out the window
see if it's a nice enough day
to keep breathing for
hm.
maybe it is.
think about libraries
and walks to rivers
but mostly about
scrubbing off
the dried mascara
on your face
smile.
right there and then.
only because someone told you
that if you smiled enough
it would make you happy.
like magic.
try not to remember
the empty room
next door
and the stop-motion
perfume
on her vanity
realize that this is only
day one...
smile
gone

im withering
and falling so softly
to the ground
slowly fading away
hidden amongst the crowd
of flawless beauties
and hidden eyes