floating aimlessly along a river
headed no where.
to live in such a state
absent of direction
would be
unattainable bliss

swollen cheeks
and bellies
dancing with the
succulent satisfaction of being filled.
but i am empty.
my palms desolate deserts searching
for the source of energy
to quell my wandering soul.
yearning for deeper connections
and a sink
to upheave the
dry heaves
of lonely
nothings.

you have asked me to be soft like the belly of a fish exposed to a knife.
but i can’t. for i am as violent as lightening and as destructive as a tsunami.
causing a collision between me and everything i come in contact with.
i want to be an unlocked house in a neighborhood of robbers.
maybe i don’t know what will happen tomorrow
and maybe that scares me to the point where i can’t breathe.
my fist is roughly the same size as my heart.
sometimes i punch the wall or the box of things you left in my room just to test my heart
and everytime, i can feel my ribs breaking from all the things i wish i could say to you that i locked between the empty cavity of my chest 6 months ago when you left

there is a poet with
the same name as my
ex-lover
's mistress
and every time i read her poetry
i weep
because it is so beautiful
but i cannot love it
because i imagine it was strung
by Her
just like Him.

there are no words
for long strangled hair
cascading down a naked spine
all pale and freckled.
only soft murmurs spoken between two hearts
and imploring eyes that delve down to the core
of our bare vulnerable insides.
bodies move like the wings of birds
coming together
coming apart
a story written in honey
to be burned onto tongues
dissipating in the pure
ecstasy of moments
snuggled in between shoulders
resting side by side
and that long contented sigh
when it's over
that stretches a blanket
over the room
holding me
and you