I have the fear of being disconnected from the outside world. It haunts me and makes me anxious. I'm addicted to being connected. My connection is my life source. I feed on it and gain energy from it. It is my means of communication that are in peril and I'm more anxious than I have ever been. I can't not talk to him whilst away from him. I can't not text him 'I love you.' Before I go to sleep or just to remind him. I need to be connected

I love you
Forever and ever?
And then some
Until the end of time and space?
And then some
Until the end of existence?
And then some
Until infinity?
And then some
Until Infinity times infinity?
And then some.
Will you love me tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that?
Yes, and then some.

My childhood was a happy one mostly.
It was filled with childish games and toys and friends.
I was a happy kid. Mostly.
My parents yelled at each other a lot.
They'd scream at each other until their faces were bright red.
I was four or five the first time I tried to make them stop.
They picked me up and hugged me tight and set me in another room.
The fighting continued with me out of sight, but still in earshot.
I was in second grade when my parents got divorced.
I was so naïve to think my pieced-together family would hold.
I was innocent until then.
Then I had to grow up real fast.
I had issues at first; unpopularity at school, self-conscious of myself, and had acceptance issues.
I was fourteen when I lost it.
I spun downhill pretty fast after that.
When I was sixteen I had slept with eight different guys and a few girls.
My innocence was lost long before I could even pronounce the word.
My sweet innocence so far gone I can't  even remember having it.

Hearing his name makes me smile.
Seeing his smile makes my body quake.
His voice makes my bones shake.
His eyes go on for miles.
His arms wrapped around me,
I'm safe from harm.
His touch is so loving and warm.
Our love is as strong as any ocean or sea.
Our future is bright and I'm looking forward to it.