You fight me,
And fight,
And fight.
You tear out my heart
and slaughter it in front of me.
I hate you.
Crack
You're so worthless
Tear
I never loved you
Break
My fragile heart
Shatters
Because of you.
Because of your words.
Tears blur my vision,
I am furious.
*******
I feel empty.
I walk home,
now nothing but a shell.
Mind numb,
Heart aching.
Crawling into bed,
I cry.
No food for me.
I'd rather starve out my pain.
I slide my razor blade out
From it's hiding place.
So small,
So sharp,
So soothing.
The blade kisses my wrist,
And my wrist craves more.
Salivating
For nothing but
Pain.

You are not
A poet.
You can not even
rhyme.

Why
Is my entire paycheck
Going towards this?
Why
Do I love to **** myself?
I really do.
The smooth pack in my hand,
Firmly packing against my opposite palm.
Pulling off
Clear
Crinkling
Cellophane,
The shiny silver
Foil,
Then revealing my prize.
I slide a single
Cigarette
Out of this pack,
and inhale the sweet scent of
Tobacco.
Between my lips
It fits so effortlessly,
Like it was meant to be.
Sparking my lighter,
The flame erupts,
and I begin to slowly inhale
My pleasure,
My addiction,
My death.

America.
Oregon.
Eugene.
***** hippies,
Homeless kids,
Handcrafted knickknacks
For sale at Saturday Market.
Rain
Rain
Rain
Rain some more.
These tourists cannot
Perceive how happy
The rain makes me,
When their droplets of
Life fall and surround me.
They do not have
That Oregonian Blood.
I have ducks in my heart,
And rain water
Courses through my veins.
I am a Country Fair girl.
I am a Eugene Girl.
I will be an Oregonian forever.

Portland may not be
As quaint,
As *****,
As close knit.
But,
When it rains,
I get chills.
I kick off my shoes,
And I dance in the
Glorious lifeblood
of my home.