Marijuana

A lovely high.
Floating through life
as a neutral being.
Not really caring if life goes
this way,
or that.
Just remaining
numb.

Mushrooms

Beauty.
Absolute beauty.
Love in everything,
you see grace.
You feel the colors
of life.
Focusing intently,
appreciating things that people
normally pass by.
Loving life,
loving living.

Molly

Touch
Touch
Touch
All you want to do is
Touch
Feel
Caress.
Short attention span.
Touch me.
I'll touch you too.

*******

Hyper
Hyper
Oh my God
Can we go do something?
Let's smoke a cigarette,
And go for a drive.
This song is amazing.
I want to go do
Push ups.

Acid

I've never seen
Anything
So glorious.
What is that??
Oh my god
It's awesome.
Why do people
Worry
About becoming
Perma-fried?
That would be
Epic.

Happiness?
Money?
It's hard to find a
Common ground.
Hard to find
Balance
On a line so thin.

Precariously
Teetering,
Bound to fall on
One side, or
The other.

Slave for hours
Days
Weeks
Years.
For what?
Money.

Or, you will fall
On the side of
Happiness.
Do what you
Dream.
However, for
Most of us,
That doesn't include
An income.

Maybe you like
Piercings,
Tattoos,
Hair dye.
Employers don't.

You are a
Circle, a
Triangle, a
Hexagon,
Trying to get to
The work force
Where only
Squares
Are welcome.

As much as
You want to
Remain true to yourself,
You change.

Take out your
Piercings,
Hide your
Tattoos,
Put your crazy
Hair dye
Back on the shelf
For now.

Redrawing yourself
Into that
Square
Society requires you
to be.

I love you
No,
I loved you.
Parts of you were
everything
I could have asked for.
But,
I am not your punching bag.
I will not be hit.
I will not be screamed at
day
after
day.
I deserve to be loved
as much as I love
and you,
obviously,
cannot provide that.

I walk in the hallways now,
seeing friends smiling at me,
and the smile I return
is no longer a plastered
mask.
Long talks are a
daily commodity,
be them great,
or not so much.
I’m happy that
I can talk to them.
Happy that they
want to talk to me.
Happy that I get to be
with people that don’t
know how fake I was,
and that accept me
because Maddy
IS important.
However, I am mostly
just happy that I can be
me.

Leaving home,
leaving memories
and friends behind;
fighting tears
as you pack up
your life in a backpack,
close the door of the truck,
and watch everything
you’ve ever known
fade into the distance

would be
such a good thing?

To be cared about,
to have someone
who truly believes
you are important?

Everyone wants this,
everyone needs this.
Deep,
deep down,
there is a craving
for love
in everyone,
taking shelter in
your soul.

However,
there are some people
who never get that
attention
who are denied the
affection
that they need.
And for some strange reason,
that person was always
me.

A twelve year old girl
sits on her bed,
eyes puffy,
face dripping with tears.

She shows this to no one.
No one understands the pain
she feels
deep inside, the raging
hurt from too many
years of hurtful words.
No one asks,
no one cares.
No one can see
Who she is.

Hidden behind her
fake smiles,
fake laughter,
no one sees
her pain.

The only evidence
is the scars,
the scabs,
the wounds
from losing the battles
with herself.