Im insecure
Im scared and unsure
Of myself.
I don’t really play video games
Or read a lot of books.
Im not that smart
But I like to pretend I am in front of you.
And infront of you im one person,
With myself im another.
Ive made a lot of mistakes
That one day ready or not all have to face…
Im a fanatic about piano and I sing A LOT
Im sure it annoys a lot of people. But that’s okay.
Sometimes I don’t understand who I am or even know what to do next.
But I guess that’s when I put my faith in God and just rest.
Im just like you.
I hate being rejected,
I hate conflicts
And I have issues too…
I guess if you really think about it,
Im not that much different than you.

"YOU CAN TRUST ME".
words that mean so little now...
words that are just thrown in a sentence without knowing the true meaning of it all.
i believed you... i believed you in a heart beat
and in a second, it all meant nothing.. nothing at all...
why?
i needed you....
no worries though im used to my life  being treated like a joke..
yet i guess ive become numb to it now... i just thought that...maybe you ...wouldn't....but no...gosh
you think i haven't been called a ***** enough this week?
think i haven't been called a waste of space and told to just go **** myself enough?....
people handing me pills saying "there's a bathroom over there, go overdose and die...."
do you think i haven't heard that enough????
i just thought .....that maybe, you.......that maybe you would still be there for me...
i thought that maybe INSTEAD of leaving me in the darkness and slamming my emotions in the ground  that maybe that was a place you just wouldn't go...
that through hard times you would say... hey look im gonna stand by you in this....forever. hand and hand we will get through this together..
but i guess my hopes were a little to high for it all...
i guess i gotta a little ahead of myself..... i needed you..
...i needed you then... i need you now..
where do i turn now?
i hate this.... i hate being treated as if my life is some super funny joke...
i needed you...

I wish I could skin you of sadness
and offer you more than just
two arms
a shoulder
a heartbeat.