suffice it to say
I feel unseasonably
confined

tomorrow the sun
will rise
& the ships will
dance on the
ever-shifting horizon

but I will not see them

you will wake in
your world
& not have a single thought
of me

I am too far from the sea

& I wonder if it
bothers him
too
that I might one day
set sail on the wheels of
my '97 Ford Taurus
& never return

anchored upon land
is what I am



but the horizon
draws near




as you sleep in your world
& wake in my harbor




won't you please
think of me?

unnatural senses
& a shot to the
brain


we all make mistakes here
take smaller doses of
that courage before it feasts
upon your flesh


forget your belongings
but don't forget your
place


someday you'll see
Jupiter
when you least expected
her


your head is resting on
the high chair
& when you can learn how to
reach it
she'll learn how to shine
a little brighter


but until then you can
go stand
in the corner,
mister

my 30 gb iPod

the garter from my senior prom

a tiny golden cross that had
faith & hope
inscribed into it

the base to my son's car seat

& his monkey mirror

my husband's suit jacket

& seven years of my
life written into
various paper journals
with colored covers



these were all stolen in the
first car I ever owned

her name was Lydia
"She was the most glorious creature
under the sun."

that comes from a
Groucho Marx song if
you didn't know

my Papa used to sing it to
me all the time

anywho

she was a 2000 Dodge Neon
painted black

two stickers on the back
"COEXIST"
and
"SUPPORT THE ARTS
KISS A MUSICIAN"

I got her my first year
of college from
a man who's like a father
to me

we've been through many a
busted radiator hose
& flat tire

last summer my husband was on his way
to work when Lydia gave out on him
so he left her at the side of K-15 and MacArthur
in Wichita
& told the cops not to tow her away
'cause he'd be back for her

when he returned after his shift
she was gone
nowhere to be found
a vanishing act of pure mental hell
& unanswered questions
to this day



I miss her terribly.