Massive hearts gently
shading our sleep, dreams of
long afternoons cooking curry in
naked freedom, rain as a tell-tale
reminder, the flowers we bloom in
this time without time

the three of us got in your car
you let me sit shotgun
which made me sort of happy
though i can't really say why

you drove while we rode
and you didn't have your seat belt on
"it's stupid rebellious things like that,"
I had said,
"that will end up getting you pulled over"

you told me to shut up
or you'd make me get out of the car
and so i smirked
because only I could ever make
a reaction like that happen
so I simply said "No"

and this time you seemed to smirk
and so you continued
to argue with me
you tried to keep up
but my skill was superior
and I told you that myself

you ignored me
naturally
and we violently conversed
even when the car had stopped
it was time for us to get out,
and for him to stay
but my legs refused to move me

after you had left
I asked of my friend
"what just happened back there?"
and she smirked.

"Flirting, my dear," was all she had to say.

I wished for meadows gold and green,
  for forests rich and sweet,
as autumn's chill crept up between
  the boards beneath my feet.

It seemed to me within your eyes
  there welled a wish like mine--
as if the gray November skies
  could cry a draught of wine.

Now mind is clear
as a cloudless sky.
Time then to make a
home in wilderness.

What have I done but
wander with my eyes
in the trees? So I
will build:  wife,
family, and seek
for neighbors.

                     Or I
perish of lonesomeness
or want of food or
lightning or the bear
(must tame the hart
and wear the bear).

And maybe make an image
of my wandering, a little
image—shrine by the
roadside to signify
to traveler that I live
here in the wilderness
awake and at home.

i.
***** blond hair and braces,
beanie and a sweatshirt,
you were the secondary third wheel
along with myself.
you put on all four hats and
nearly choked on your soda
at someone’s ***** joke.

ii.
hair parted sideways,
black-ringed blue eyes,
we vaguely remembered each other
and talked a bit before going back
to the ones who had originally brought us.
the blue was pretty and you had a bubbly laugh
and were dressed nicer than before.
we finally memorized each other’s names
and when it was time to go,
we hugged and I told you to
drop by again soon.

iii.
braces off and longer hair,
your board had a new paintjob.
we enthusiastically greeted each other
with a hug and an exchange of names
and we ended up sitting at the computer
for most of the afternoon and evening.
we talked without restraint and
had definitely become easy friends.

iv.
hair shaved off on the sides,
the rest slicked back like a new-age greaser,
you smelled slightly of stale cigarettes
when I tucked my face against your neck
for our routine hug.
I squeezed you tight and brushed my thumbs
across the leather of your jacket.
you were angry and stressed but didn’t really show it
and I wasn’t sure what to do with my still-new
feelings for you.
I held your hands outside that night
and asked you to quit again,
because people come and go and life’s too short
to make it even shorter
by ******* on a stick of chemicals and tobacco.
you said you’d quit soon and thanked me for being there.

v.
you stayed over
and we spent most of our time
swapping songs and playing video games
and snacking on poptarts and arizona.
I woke up the next morning to find that
you hadn’t slept
and wondered what you must have been thinking about
that could keep you up all those hours.

vi.
we saw a bad movie together tonight.
our heads bumped multiple times
and we both had to pull up our legs
since our heels barely touch the floor comfortably.
your forehead would wrinkle when you were looking up
and it gave you an air of maturity
that I didn’t know you could pull off.
I wanted to kiss you
but didn’t know what you thought of me
so I didn’t.

Marijuana

A lovely high.
Floating through life
as a neutral being.
Not really caring if life goes
this way,
or that.
Just remaining
numb.

Mushrooms

Beauty.
Absolute beauty.
Love in everything,
you see grace.
You feel the colors
of life.
Focusing intently,
appreciating things that people
normally pass by.
Loving life,
loving living.

Molly

Touch
Touch
Touch
All you want to do is
Touch
Feel
Caress.
Short attention span.
Touch me.
I'll touch you too.

*******

Hyper
Hyper
Oh my God
Can we go do something?
Let's smoke a cigarette,
And go for a drive.
This song is amazing.
I want to go do
Push ups.

Acid

I've never seen
Anything
So glorious.
What is that??
Oh my god
It's awesome.
Why do people
Worry
About becoming
Perma-fried?
That would be
Epic.

In we prance, kingly versions of ourselves.
Nothing to dwell upon besides self,
I am frightened—
Comfortable in the awkward sociality.

I fear the end.
Yet, the start is always excruciating.
Once over the climb toward conversation,
The continuation is admired

This cycle does nothing.
The affluent believe they are better,
The others place great trust in “humility,” but lack humbleness.
These are the two groups of which we do not belong

By the end, there I hang,
Wishing to be forgotten by all instead of many.
Consumed by my own worries
No better than the ones I am leaving.

To me..
The past has been written, crossed out, smuged, misspelt, , bold, italic, underlined. The future lays bare, smooth, spacious, a blank white page of an open book.
Although it's funny how we can look backwards and try to understand what we have written, yet we must live forwards.
You normally ask a question and wait for the answer, but to me it seems, the past can be answered and the future is the question.

The present however, makes more sense to me. It's just simply 'being'. Which to me, sounds like the most simplest of things, especially since thats what we do day in and day out, some of us not even realising. In the present I can be certain of myself, how I feel, what I think, what I want, who I am.

Right now i'm in love, that scares me.
Right now the whole world is at my feet, that terrifies me.
Right now I know who my friends are, that makes me smile.
Right now I can do what ever I want, that excites me.
Yet that's all I can be certain of, right now.