Praise the spells and bless the charms,
I found April in my arms.
April golden, April cloudy,
Gracious, cruel, tender, rowdy;
April soft in flowered languor,
April cold with sudden anger,
Ever changing, ever true --
I love April, I love you.

i tried to quit ****
but each morning i wake up from sleep
it's calling me

i walk through the house
and say
today i'll be alright without it
and i'm drowsy
make some coffee
have a cigarette
take a shower
and figure
that this will be the day
i don't pull the lighter trigger
and watch the flame ignite the green
make it turn orange
smoke whip down
around the corner
and up and under
into my mouth
down south
and back out

then i decide
that it's time
to give it a try
because i did all i was supposed to do
with my day
that i could have
to make it better

and then i feel real real light
like a feather
and i start feeling clever
and inspired
and optimistic again

it's like i have a new friend
each day
he greets me again and again

so i guess ill quit smoking
the day he dies
which in my eyes
will probably be longer than me
which makes the answer
to how long itll take me to quit
forever

that's called a soul mate
a life partner
and even though i've known him
for years and years
i feel like i learn something new
every time he blesses me
he's so kind
that bud of mine

I'm sorry that life drives fast, riding the tail of clock hands
and that when you walk up the steps after working those overtime hours,
you need a little bit to yourself, you need a movie in the dark.  
I'm sorry that the rolling credits to you are eternity knocking,
I'm sorry that life gets so heavy.
like the heals of your shoes,
in every tread on the pavement
I wish we could go waltzing
I wish I could inspire a spring in your step
I wish I was growing up strong enough to feel the wind as its blown
and plan my day's by the sun
I wish I wasn't growing up weighed down by work boots of my own,
late nights under books that I never chose to read,
tokens of time stolen from my pocket while I watch
those lips move and those lips say nothing.
I wish I really was a super hero.
I wish I could turn back time.
I wish those credits rolling didn't remind me I'll never catch up with now.
and I'm sorry i don't know how,
to lift those little nails from your tires,
to make this easier on you.
I'm sorry that I leave the room
before the credits even come,
that my priorities are never quite in order
like the cupboard I never cleaned,
and the thank you you haven't received,
like the months I quit all but breathing
and left you to hold us both up.
and the time after when I hid in the dust
aggressively ashamed of myself
and still somehow blaming you for that and
for how I hate the credits that roll.  
and the arrows that toll each ebbing hour,
from you and from me,
from the could be memories.

I'm sorry.
life moves fast
and a heart is heavy.

I'd still love to learn to waltz.

i pick you up from the armpits
shining in the December of yr adolescence

this morning a 19 yr old boy asked me how to spell achievement

this afternoon i saw exhaustion in a single mother's fingers

I saw peace in the bald, pink cancer patient seeking holistic remedies at Whole Foods

the weary barista delights in his tip jar

and this
this is the tip

of the glacier

that is hope

a shipwrecked shore to call home

you are not from here

sailor

do not anchor

yr worries to reality

we all beat the ocean
in our sleep