what will happen to
your newly bought home
all your dreams
half finished

will someone sell your
apartment
your furniture

what about your clothes
all the lonely socks
spread around your bed
your laundry
half washed dishes
all your accounts

all the things I wrote to you
unread

what happened
to you
all that was
you

when you died

so I guess this is me
googling exes on a Friday night

rain shattering outside
cozy socks on

peculiarly enough
it’s always been a sign of ease
for me to
roll in the depts
relive anguish
squeeze out the last agony

I do love
to dream
and feel

8:26 pm
maybe I should call it a day
dive into bed
socks still on

such a wild Friday of fun

you can make even the greyest wall
gain colour

a pull
towards you

i want
my fingers trough your hair
linger on your curls
your eyes
to linger on my curves

i want you
to long for me
bending down when you're
too long for me

your breathe
on my lips
a pull
on my hips

towards you

suddenly i know
where you are on thursdays at 8 pm
the number of pillows in your bed
and what you and your grandma talks about

you only ever saw
the drawn out clothes in my wardrobe
and my hallway plant

all i craved
i got
momentarily

and then
you left

back on the sofa
count the patterns on my wall

no, i know
it was what it was
nothing more
nothing less
i guess

but i rather not have this new knowledge
in the back of my chest
it interrupts my important plans
staring at the wall

I can't write out the silence. The absence of your breath. You never made it. Who wants to be, honestly. In the middle of it.
Isn't life supposed to be more than this.

with all things for now in hand
you did
make me happy
for some time

and that time
should always count in
as a reason enough
in the end

Write to me ****. Talk to me instead of the air above me. (Even though I am shorter) Maybe I should write myself. Or move on. But I wrote before and I can't change the latter.

deep in depths
we kept our calm
brought bliss
and held us warm

now someone else
will be around
for the breakings
and when you stand your ground

you made your choice
to me it's clear
there was something more worth  
than me being there

nothing more
i'll miss our past
but i was never yours
to last

okay
crush me
and every word who stood a chance
shattered glas in your hands

paint it out
my empty wall
find the thread
behind it all

cut it off
slice it through
ruin everything
I was to you

talk me down
don't reminisce
I swear
it feels just like this

does he share  
your point of view?
and what the ****
can I do?

- rumours