morning rises
crispy air
flower buds bursting
dawn is here.

such a mess
we created
you and i

in that chaos
if i could've folded our story out  
on a table in front of me
painted out
objectively

read it all out
as facts  

as it is
our last written trace
five years ago
didn't count for much to the world

'Relationship?'
'Yes'
'Serious?'
'Yes'
'Fun'

however
stumbling over it tonight
it contained our whole world
phrases down to five

i call you.
because i
cannot
stand
this

im not ok.
simply
breathing
takes too much

my emptiness
pour out

you answer.
say hi,
and ask me
how i am

and
i tell you.
fine.

i've been raining dry

all you left behind
running through the
drains
beneath my feet
in my palms

i feel like
you stole
me

all my seasons

how i used to
burst with spring
summer rain
linger brightly
against the crispy snow
coloured by
the fall

but now
i'm nothing
but

endless
descent

how can anything
come of this

sometimes
i wished we never
would have set fire
like we did

i've been living in our ruins   
ever since

deep in depths
we kept our calm
brought bliss
and held us warm

now someone else
will be around
for the breakings
and when you stand your ground

you made your choice
to me it's clear
there was something more worth  
than me being there

nothing more
i'll miss our past
but i was never yours
to last

i wish
the peach silence would
reach you

so you'd finally
see
why i had to leave

but through the rear
of the moon
and the skies reflection

i think we forget
we're allowed to grieve
either way

it's been nothing
but  
november
since mars

and everywhere i look
i see ashes  
from our
outset

it's supposed to
spring life
to new seeds
these forest fires
i've heard  

but it's been
so long

too long

and i still don't sleep
without you
where you've been

did you get the best of me

slowly
putting pieces back
shattered all over the floor

it's a no win in some ways
the longing has no end

the warming words comfort  
but always on the way
wrap it up
miss you still

until next time

Write to me ****. Talk to me instead of the air above me. (Even though I am shorter) Maybe I should write myself. Or move on. But I wrote before and I can't change the latter.

so I guess this is me
googling exes on a Friday night

rain shattering outside
cozy socks on

peculiarly enough
it’s always been a sign of ease
for me to
roll in the depts
relive anguish
squeeze out the last agony

I do love
to dream
and feel

8:26 pm
maybe I should call it a day
dive into bed
socks still on

such a wild Friday of fun