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MJ Sep 2015
locusts and loud crickets splay
soft songs over hot swells

a banjo strums
its twines of moss
snap the frail shell

its conjuring my missed sounds
they go faintly past my ears
MJ Aug 2015
Life is so funny

because it gives you all of these

amazing, indescribable, breathtaking experiences

surrounded by love

And then you die.
MJ Aug 2015
As a girl, her hands traced it in the soft darkness of summer
And that was all it needed: the tips of 4 fingers to say, “I will consume you now,
I will overtake your everything, your you.”
She promised and she didn’t know, and it happily devoured her
She was happy, too

As a woman, her hands snapped it in the hidden places of night
And that was all it needed: the evidence of 1 act to say, “I might disappear now,
But I will continue to consume you.”
She felt her old promise, and it easily burned her
But she had been easy, too

It is a shower for one, a leftover shirt, a journal
It is loneliness, cluelessness, a hoping
It is a nightmare, a few blunt words, a knot
It is reconnection, thankfulness, a knowing

It was a day, a smell, a letter, a clover
It was joy, a warm bed, it was a kiss and a day made
It was a basement, a taste, a song, a child lost
It was pain, it was bareness, it was a declaration and tears

It can be 6 years of life and it can be a home
It can be 2,190 days drugged and it can be a prison
It can be willfulness
It can be contract

Yet it remains a system of organs, of muscles, of bones
It is held together with smoke-roasted skin

It remains a collection of memories, of touch, of letters
It is held together with never-ending care
MJ Jul 2015
This means we don’t wear clothes
This means $13.99 priced ***** until 5a.m.
It means blankets and music and dancing freely
in the most messy littered living room
This means maybe knocking a candle over
or two
and lighting a fire
This means leaping hard
to drown out our sadness
It means kindness and caring and support
and love
MJ Jul 2015
Q: When a man chokes you in a crowded bar as he looks past the brim of his black hat and matches his eyes with yours, are you supposed to feel self-hatred?

Q: When a man wipes your tears away with his button-down shirt, tells you it’s all right, and wraps his arms around you, are you supposed to feel love?

Q: When a man sets a knife down, pushes your face into a brick wall and pulls your pants off, are you supposed to feel shame?


A: I really don't ******* know anymore.
MJ Jul 2015
The realization that the notion of change means nothing, brought in by tears at the exact magic stroke of midnight in Donald Trump’s New York hotel, Manhattan. Bookstores buying everything in sight to build an impression, being calm being calm, loving hands are held. Seeing winter trees so quiet in such a small mulled-wine-man-made town, searching for dead women down the curves of subdivisions in the dark. Waking wrapped inside scratchy childhood blankets that kept me awake last night, kissing that face near running hot water, shivering legs always trying not to be heard
MJ Jun 2015
It's the way I have to write when I drink
I can't deny myself the pleasure
Funny thing is
It's not pleasure
it's torture
It's the way I'd shower
and you'd have to get in with me
The way I still have to listen to your voice
humming out of my phone
keeping me sad, keeping me thoughtful
The way you'd kiss me
I'd have to kiss you back
twenty times over
I've held my breath for three months
and either have to keep holding it
not breathing
Or I have to take a big breath
and let go
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