i’m used to this
being cast aside
for another.
so don’t fret,
darling.
i’ll be fine
as i always am.
you’ll be another
scar on top
of another scar
which seals my heart.
and i’m sad because
i won’t tell you good morning
and i won’t write you
into my poetry
and because
i won’t kiss you
or touch you
or know you
any longer because
you are confused
or figuring it out
but i am sad.
i wish my eyes were half-shut again
where i couldn’t see
anything but you
but this is not the case now
for you are like leaves in the wind
falling gold in autumn.

i think i give up
loving.
i think i give up
trying.
i’ll be quiet now.
and maybe
for the next few years
to come.

reckless; [rekləs]
adjective
(of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action.

this is how i love
dangerously
recklessly
without fear
of our demise
or of our longevity

this is how i live
without thought
or care
or worry
truly in my core
i do worry
but truly in my core
i also do not.

this is how i drive
my car
speeding down the road
music so loud
my thoughts are drowned

this is how i sing
top of my lungs
air in my body
colors spouting forth from my lips
heavily and intently
pointed at you
hoping
that if i sing loud enough
the universe will hear my call
and bring you back
twist you into me
so that i can love you for just
a little longer
if you let me

this is how i breathe
without mind
but in mind
i think of your air
that you breathe
it is the same as mine.
clean
cool
refreshing
shaping the inside of my lungs
with careful molecules
and bits of dust
giving oxygen
life

this is how i see
the moon in my sky
is the moon in yours
it is the same
one in the same
we stare at it together
and yet apart
without worry
without care
without consequence
we stare.
longing for it to love us back
reflecting ourselves
in its large light
i see myself
reflected
one in the sky,
one with the sky
and yet,
fading so fast
because the sun is coming.

reckless.
dangerous.
impulsive.
i sit on my own sleeve
heart out.
like a ******* idiot.
but i can't help it.
i can't help
but to indulge in this game
this dance
this music
this love
this life
this dream that is my reality.

i can't help
but to be
K(erra)T(he)R(eckless).

the definition of insanity
is to do the same thing
over and over again
but to expect different results.
so.
sit back.
don't do anything.
let it happen.
stop controlling.
let it go.
breathe.
think.
sleep.
dream.
for,
you are a sparrow
and if you love something
you must set it free
fly high,
I'll be patient.
Because I've never done this before
ignore,
relax,
let go.
for once,
I'm not going to be insane.
I'll simply step back
and watch it grow.

aching
shaking
from that addiction
so deep
needle in the vein
mental in the brain
you feel it,
creeping, crawling
under your skin
no escape from the feeling
of stupidity
or of ignorance.
blame, blame, blame
you play the game.
your nightmares
become your reality
is it because you think too much
or because
you feel too little?

to not have to be someone else
that is freedom
to have the ability to love
that is freedom
to honestly open myself
that is freedom
to tell you how it is
that is freedom
to give my all, even when I'm tired
that is freedom
to be honest with myself
that is freedom

to love you
that is freedom

to feel loved by you
that is freedom

to accept the love, I think
no, to accept the love I know
I deserve
THAT is freedom.

red wine
lips purple
menthol breath
with smokey gaze
heart out,
for me to see
vulnerable
open
terrified, white like a sheet
hoping your demons
won't scare me away.
but darling, it's gonna take a lot
to make me run
because never have i had
the sun
you, shining on my life
brilliant, radiant, light
full of spinning threads
straw into gold
like that old fairy tale we know
glittering, atoms within
your very core
I love them all,
like no one before.

You are poetry
and art in motion
the wheels of my mind
turn and turn
with the thoughts of you
beautiful moments
brushstrokes and prose
line upon line
and row upon row.
you move something
deep inside of me,
that hasn’t ever been moved
my heart made of some granite
or obisideon
and now, warm and flushed
because of your lips
and the way you wrap
your arms around me,
surround me
you found me
I will never let you go.