Ambitions are behind
my back.
Crossed, like my fingers.
When I promised

Eternity, in the bottom of my glass.
Leaking along.

Away you tremble.
I may come closer.
But turn.

Cover my arms in white,
you said.

Cover my body in cream,
you said.

Cover my face in veil,
you screamed.

"You're gonna be somebody"

So I dropped the glass.
Blood wine on the floor.

Threw the promise
in your face.

And stormed away
My legacy thundering

Like my laughter when you first said you loved me.

With you,
Nothing else need exist.

Maybe I'll find something
Something that's not from hell
Maybe I'll find something
To ring that ****** bell

Maybe I'll run into it
At the store or park
Maybe I'll run into it
And I won't be left in the dark

Maybe I'll see it
Behind book after book
Or Maybe I'll see it
And I won't have to really look

Quiet whispers from along the road
The misty morn cool and polite

I keep my head down low
And cross my heart, hoping

Though the whispers are faint
They have always been there

Creeping and crawling
Under my skin
Urging me forward
Yearning for me
to come to them.

My body is like the river along this path
Ebb and flow, always changing
Cool and collective
Calm and seductive

I close my eyes
And the wind picks up
Kissing my ears,
Fostering my mouth

A flower blooms
along the road

Cerulean against the gray

I feel I am that flower.
Water in me
Open space before me

Cold between my lips
Warm inhale, heated exhale.

Clicking fingers to create fire.
Burning scent, sweet and complimentary.

Elegant smoke, pouring from the mouth.
White, thick, warm, alive.

It makes life bearable when I'm without you.
The sense of lifelessness, but of life.
My body is just a vessel
for the music and the visions I see.
I'm in the clouds, above the pain
Behind the wounds
Across from the aches.
Away from the life I am a part of.

I see what I desire, and yet
I cannot have it yet.

So I sit here
And I create an escape for myself.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
And all the pain slips away.

I am a child of the earth.
My God holds me in his arms
Gives me challenges
Always pulls me back up

I am a child of my mother
My God gave me breath
Gives me joy
Always brings me to freedom.

I am a free soul.
I channel my God.
I am the earth.
I am myself.
And you -

You tried to jail me
You tried to take away my God
in exchange for your own.
But you-

You lost.

I am free.

I will never kiss you again
and let you steal my spirit away.

The steady pulse
of my beating heart

Swings in time with the soothing cello
And strings of earth and air

I see my body, I am outside
I am no longer within

My thoughts are just bubbles
floating in the air

My feet are just stable
but not part of the earth

This is my death
The passing away of my soul

Deepening the plunge,
as I immerse myself within the sorrow

Give away my soul, you say
Stay, you say
Do, you say
Don't, you scream
muffled.

I cry out in those leaping intervals
The painful pulls of your desires
ripping at my already weakened heart.

My strength deteriorates as the dominant over turns
I, lying on the ground, cold to you.

Amen, they say.
To men. The end.