Lydia Rose Miller: Favorites

Feb 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Amber K

Innocent girl,
afraid of the world.
They have no idea what goes on in your mind.

They can't see the cuts.
They can't hear your thoughts.
They can't see you're at war with yourself.

"You're too good."
"You'd never do wrong."
"You're so innocent."

They can't see you're dying.
They can't hearing your crying.
They can't hear you screaming for help.

Innocent girl,
when will you tell the world,
about the pain you feel.

They don't believe you could hurt,
They don't believe you could bleed,
They are sickened by your "perfection".

"You've never been depressed."
"You're mind is so clear."
"You've never known struggle."

Innocent girl,
when will you show the world,
the scars you have from losing your mind.

Feb 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Burn Marks

Feb 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

mary

Burn Marks

I am a cigarette to you.

You lit me up,
and I burned slowly,
and you enjoyed my simple highs,
and got dizzy from my insides.

You began to crave me,
addicted to the sensations I gave your mind,
reliant on the comfort I gave you.

But your fingers began to slip,
and I would burn you,
and I had no choice,
I was on fire.

Then I was nothing but a filter,
and you stomped me into the ground.

But in the end, I was killing you all along.

Feb 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Pretty

Feb 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Jaclyn Elizabeth

Pretty

It creeps upon you like a dark, twisted fog
You can’t see through it, others don’t recognize you
You’re suffocating but you tell yourself:
It’s for the best, when all this smoke is cleared,
Everything will be better
So you sit there and wait for the firemen to rescue you
But they never come
The emptiness inside you is pretty
Everything you’ve always wanted to be is pretty
Beauty is on the inside, that’s what you’ve heard
So that’s where you start to destroy yourself
You think you’re making a difference for the onlookers
But really you’re just killing yourself
Hurting the people around you
They don’t think what you’re doing is pretty
Because all they see is the ugly disease
The black smoke starts to fill your lungs
Making it harder to breathe
You try to reach through the haze, but it’s too late
You see blurred outlines of people, muffled sounds of crys
Why don’t you move? Why don’t you tear yourself from the flames?
Because when you’re not good enough, and you’re looking into the mirror
All you want to be is pretty.

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Secondhand Smoke

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Alyssa

Secondhand Smoke

You were as stealthy as a slow gas leak, by the time i knew i was in love with you, i had succumbed to you. You were in the drivers seat of my car lighting a cigarette with the windows up so i could breathe you in. I quit smoking so your secondhand smoke was all you would allow. I watched as you brought the cigarette to your lips and dragged in as if your life depended on it. It was your third one today and i told you that you should stop, maybe breathe me in for a second. Do you know what i would give to become second hand smoke from your lips? All you would have to do is kiss me and i would vanish into thin air, become a noble gas in the periodic table but there is nothing noble about the element of disappearance. I have been shrinking away from you ever since you held my hand in that convenience store a year ago. I'm trying to convince myself to get over you because all i am to you is someone to **** slowly through your second hand smoke. I never knew I could get so addicted to nicotine until it came from under your tongue. When you're gone, it's hard for me to breathe which doesnt make sense because when youre here my lungs are filled with your sweet black tar. But you will be gone for months when you leave in two weeks. You said you'd write to me, but written words can't carry your second hand smoke. You can't build a home out of a human being, but that doesn't mean i cant find a home in your bed.

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Three Years

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

rachel

Three Years

Three years ago your doctor gave you a diagnosis
You took his words and twisted them until each individual letter fell onto the floor with a loud thud
You carved the word into your skin and let it sink deep until it reached your heart
Depression
You let the word rip apart your veins and tear at your porcelain skin
You shoved the word
Sadness
Down your throat until you could no longer breath without feeling that word in every single inch of your body
Three years ago you picked up a blade and sliced through your arm
Spelling out the word
Anxiety
You let this word convulse throughout your soul
And you let it trap you in a glass box that could shatter at the slightest touch
You felt the words inside of you
And you let them break every part of you
You burned the word
Anxious
Into your brain and you let it char every bit of matter left
Three years ago your doctor gave you a diagnosis
You starved until the words were scarred into you organs in order to let you know that you were killing yourself with this word
Eating disorder
You deprived yourself of the things you needed because you thought it would **** the other words that you've placed on yourself
The doctor said that you were killing yourself
And you merely said
"Okay"

It's been three years
And you are covered in scars from the words you've carved into yourself
But the only difference is,
You're not letting these words rule over you any longer
You are strong
You are braver
You are better
Because you decided that these words do not control you
These words are not a life sentence

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

NOT THAT DEEP

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Traveler

NOT THAT DEEP

It's not really that deep
These uneasy feelings that I keep
Are more or less on the surface
Of the ocean that's trying to drown me...

Traveler Tim

Re po

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

I Drown

Jan 2014 Lydia Rose Miller

Douglas

I Drown

We glance at each other shortly, waiting for one to start
I would say something, but I can't think over my pounding heart
Small talk is common, questions are ordinary
But where are the conversations,
The deep thoughts we keep for each other
The detailed explanations
The feelings that so precariously hang from our hearts
Are we so scared of rejection, that we fall apart
Do we become so infatuated with a feeling that we do not dare risk loosing it
Or is it all too familiar
Giving our feelings up, letting someone play with them
Then ripping them out and throwing them on the ground
Confide in me, I will not let you down
But will you do the same - in this thought, I drown

— The End —