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Jan 2016 · 342
Simple Things
desolate Jan 2016
they said 'simple things matter'
and i think that's a lie
because my dear,
you are very complicated
yet you are what matters to me most
-- just a thought
Jun 2015 · 356
Untitled
desolate Jun 2015
I loved you most. With all my heart, with all I've got.
I loved you, ever only you. And still, I deeply do.
62915
May 2015 · 264
Untitled
desolate May 2015
Going through the process of what's called as moving on
Even when I'm aware that my heart still wants you so
Rejecting all the emotions that I still feel for you
And refusing to act upon what I foolishly want to do
Lying to myself and thinking I'm finally okay
Denying how much I still hope you stayed
Instead of choosing to break my heart and leave
Nostalgic still, to the thought of what had been
Even when I shouldn't bother anymore
-- an acrostic for the one person who makes me lose and find myself at the same time.
Love, s
Apr 2015 · 371
Untitled
desolate Apr 2015
You my dear, are tremendously, tragically, unknowingly torturing me.
Mar 2015 · 305
A Sonnet
desolate Mar 2015
But I wonder when thy heart will stop wandering
Or longing for what is wrong--I am suffering
The thought of you and I is constantly haunting
Every action or sight leads to remembering
Whilst the heart I never could own is rejoicing
As it sings lovely songs, and as birds are humming
Around it, all seems perfectly fine and pleasing
Thy heart that I yearn notices not the lightning
Within thy thoughts, whilst thy memories keep running
Thy heart lost in deep despair, bit by bit breaking
Losing all pieces till it is but mere nothing
Since thy day you have chosen to leave me hanging
But thou can conclude that you are the most confused
You know not what you want, or feel for who you've used
- s (we talked about sonnets at school today and I thought about you)
Mar 2015 · 257
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
You'd always leave me
And you'd always come back
Making sure you've taken everything
And that there's nothing else left
Mar 2015 · 363
My problem:
desolate Mar 2015
Having an immeasurably bountiful amount of care for what does not deserve it
Or inexistent care for what is worth being valued
Mar 2015 · 834
Goodbye
desolate Mar 2015
Goodbye, goodbye, what happened to goodbye
Goodbye, my goodbye just turned to another hi
Goodbye, I said, to my feelings and past
Goodbye, I told you, but all I did was go back
Goodbye, goodbye, I had said my farewell
Goodbye, goodbye? But guess who fell for it again
Mar 2015 · 385
When I Said Goodbye
desolate Mar 2015
And I guess it pained me to see
How saying my goodbye didn't bother you
For I greatly hoped that you would regret
All the things that you have done

I expected you to feel sad
And want to take me back or once more hold my hand
I assumed you would say no, don't go
Or at least show me you were still holding on

I thought you would feel guilt and hurt
And that there would be a change in your whole mood
For I have sought to simply let you be
After I told you all that I felt and what I still do

But as you casually smiled at me
I knew, you did not feel a thing
Maybe you were hiding it (and well, you've done a great job)
Or maybe there was simply nothing left to feel for me anymore

For maybe, you have already stated your goodbye
Long ago, without me knowing
And maybe, it was when you left me without warning
When I was still willing to be in your arms while hurting and loving
- s
Mar 2015 · 224
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
Won't you ever get tired of breaking my heart?
I guess not because you only get tired of me anyway
Mar 2015 · 1.5k
Naglaho Na Ng Tuluyan
desolate Mar 2015
Ngunit ako'y natataranta
At ako'y nagtataka
Kung bakit kinailangan
Mo pang mawala

Hindi na nagpahanap
At 'di na bumalik
Kaya habang ika'y wala sa 'king piling
Ako'y magtitiis

'Di maiwasang isipin
At magtanong sa sarili
Kung ano ang nagawang mali
Ano ba ang nangyari

At habang lumilipas ang panahon
Alam ko'y hindi na mababalik ang kahapon
Ito na lama'y tatanggapin
Kaysa maghanap pa ng bagay na hindi na muli
Mapapasaakin
Not sure if telling you that was a mistake or not
But I hope you understood and got my point
Mar 2015 · 208
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
Have you already forgotten me?
Mar 2015 · 228
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
Because there's a difference between wanting to leave and needing to
But you don't seem to understand that
Mar 2015 · 316
Today
desolate Mar 2015
I searched for you in the crowd, as I always do
And I finally found the courage to approach you
But you were looking for my friend
And I jokingly said
"She's in my heart, she took your place..."
And was going to add "who am I kidding, no one can"
But you swiftly answered as cold as ice
You looked me in the eyes and replied "it's okay"
Even said it numerous times
Which had me quite convinced
But what bothered me the most
Was the fact that you didn't seem to care
At all
But why weren't you even a little bit bothered?
Mar 2015 · 223
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
Please don't get tired of wanting me
5:51 am
Mar 2015 · 2.3k
090214
desolate Mar 2015
Nang una kitang makita at makilala
‘Di ko mailahad ang aking nadarama
Pinagdarasal na lagi kitang kausap
Palaging sinisilayan  at hinahanap

Madalas tinitignan ang iyong larawan
Ika’y ‘di rin nawala sa aking isipan
Sa munting panahon ng ating pagsasama
‘Di ko naiwasang mahulog at umasa

Ika’y hinintay ko, hindi ako napagod
Aking nadarama’y hindi bastang naglaho
Kahit masakit, matagal ako nagtiis
‘Di mo hiningi ngunit ginusto kong gawin

Nagkunwaring manhid ngunit ako ay hindi
Paghihirap ay ‘di ko na lamang pinansin
Pagkat alam ko na sa dulo, ito’y sulit
Inisip ko na ika’y mapapasaakin

Ito ang aking lubhang pinaniwalaan
Hanggang umabot sa puntong ako’y nabulag
‘Di namalayang habang ika’y iniibig
Unti-unting nawala ang aking sarili
Mar 2015 · 320
To Love Her
desolate Mar 2015
I have never believed
That truly loving her means letting go
For loving is not about giving up
Or choosing to grant someone else to have the one you love

It is about staying no matter what
And ignoring all the pain that loving her bears
It is allowing her to repeatedly break your heart
Just to make sure that hers is whole

It is seeing the millions of reasons to leave
But relying on that one sense why you shouldn't
For loving her is enduring all the hurt
That she unknowingly causes

Loving her is wanting to wake up each day
Knowing that she's still yours, and you are hers
It is assuring her that you'll wait
Despite all her fears, and the difficulties in between

But I have never thought
That to love is something so much more
It is putting her happiness before yours
Even when she is, without you

And loving her, is seeing that you are taking away the chance
Of her being with another, and happier
For she constantly tries to love you in return
Even when she really doesn't

To love, is to be immensely selfless
Though seeing her with another would greatly hurt
Wanting to only keep her to yourself
Will not result to her content

For although you know that you love her too much
To even hurt her or think of letting go
Genuinely loving her
Is accepting that you are not the one
She loves
- s
Mar 2015 · 242
Untitled
desolate Mar 2015
Please don't fall for anyone else
I just can't stand the thought of another person calling you mine
Feb 2015 · 257
Untitled
desolate Feb 2015
Don't you know how intricate it is to bear with you leaving but then you're never really gone?
Is it really that hard for you to stay with me?
12:22 am
Feb 2015 · 288
Outside
desolate Feb 2015
Leaves are falling all around me
The air, cold
My thoughts, hazy
Blocked reality with the beautiful fantasy
That you and me could actually
Be
- 10.16.14
Feb 2015 · 187
In Silence
desolate Feb 2015
With piano keys before me
And sadness surrounding
There are too much thoughts
To even drown out with music
Within this silence, a voice resonates
It's you, calling out for my name
There's a hurricane in my mind,
an earthquake on my heart
Please, tell me, why did we have to part?
I scream too loud, it's so deafening
But no one else can hear a single thing
Your laughter echoes, or at least I wish it did
But we both know I'm not the reason behind it
Anymore
—a room and a piano all to myself
still, melancholy consumes me in silence

sm
Feb 2015 · 361
Broken Glass
desolate Feb 2015
And if we fell apart
We'd be shattered like broken glass
With shards that would cut me deeper than knives
And I am given the feeling that it could not be fixed
Tired, listless, I'm also astray
For it is not just mere glass
It's us that has been destroyed
But I want you to know that I'd pick all the fragments
And try to piece everything back together
Even if I'm certain that it would hurt so much
I would ignore all the blood that I will shed
Know that I'd rather be in pain while trying to fix what is left
Than search for another or be whole again
Without you
-- we were together but I felt like you were leaving
112014
Feb 2015 · 241
Away From Me
desolate Feb 2015
It has been so long since we last talked
And honestly, I miss you a lot
But I have to pretend like I don't care
Because even if you knew, it won't change a thing
I always feared the day we'd part
And now, there is so much space between us
I just can't help but wonder if you have moved on
Did you already forget what you once felt before?
But one thing is certain, I know it's still you
For even after everything, I'm still drowning in my thoughts of you
I wonder if you reminisce as well
Or do you only feel regret?
Do you miss the way we used to be?
Or have you never felt more free
Once you were finally away
From me
-- we broke up but I didn't love you any less
Feb 2015 · 454
Missing Piece Of Me
desolate Feb 2015
How is it that I can't resist?
I always come back even though it hurts
How is it that I withstand all this pain
For someone who won't and will never do the same?
How is it that you could bear to watch
As all of me just falls apart?
And as I try to regain what I once had
I hurt even more than I should—
Gathering my shattered self:
Wanting to be whole again
And when I finally piece myself back together
I realize that a fraction is missing
Guess that I will never be complete
For you will always have
That missing piece of me
-- I'll always be yours
032014
s
Feb 2015 · 300
A Haiku
desolate Feb 2015
I was so happy
To be in your arms again
But I'm unsafe there
Feb 2015 · 347
When You Are Near
desolate Feb 2015
And I can't always fall apart every time you are near
Seeing your face and hearing your name
Should not always make me break down in tears
But it still hurts so much, there's too much pain
Although I try, it's just impossible to contain
—like waves crashing at a shore
my memories beat me, repeatedly
washing away my remaining bits of happiness
until I'll be (left with) nothing
all over again
Feb 2015 · 224
Would You?
desolate Feb 2015
Would you do something to make me stay
If you felt like I was leaving?
But the real question is:
Would you even notice?
Feb 2015 · 244
Our Story
desolate Feb 2015
In our story, the princess
did not fall in love
with the beast
and his rose
wilted
along
with
him
—I was stupid to think that someone like you
could love someone
like me
Feb 2015 · 253
She Never Would
desolate Feb 2015
She loves me, she loves me not
And I don't need to pick flower petals
To know that she never did
And never would
-- we were together but I knew the feeling wasn't mutual
Feb 2015 · 421
Sanctuary
desolate Feb 2015
My stomach felt like a butterfly sanctuary
Along with numerous swarms of bees
And I don't know which was worse:
The fact that my sanctuary was fragmentizing me
Or that there were bees within
—all my doubts, uncertainties, and fears: my very own swarm of bees.
Wondering when you'd choose to stop making me feel these indescribable things

- 11.22.14
Feb 2015 · 256
Beautiful
desolate Feb 2015
And though I tried
I could never write anything lovely or wonderful
Despite the happiness that I have
The things I've written have always been broken and sad
And I cannot
Write anything like you
I am incapable of writing something
Beautiful
- 11.22.14
Feb 2015 · 263
Butterflies
desolate Feb 2015
I felt it. Every single one of them fluttering within me, wanting to break free and escape my stomach. But they remained there—concealed in my body, surrounding my lungs and I swear I couldn't breathe. And every part of me couldn't function right. My legs, unsteady along with my hands that only longed to be intertwined with yours. My chest, aching with so much affection. My eyes, remaining fixated at yours—allowing myself to get lost in its beauty that holds so much mysteries. Then my mind, suffused with abundant thoughts which were only of you. And I knew: I was drowning in butterflies for you. The butterflies you've somehow created inside me; the same butterflies that would eventually devour whatever's left of me.
I wonder: did you feel that way too?
- 11.23.14, 6:45 am
Feb 2015 · 667
Prince Charming
desolate Feb 2015
Let's pretend you're a princess
And I, the knight in shining armor
I'd go through anything and everything
To save you from your sorrows

And though I try my hardest
Your heart still longs for another
Even when I'm standing here before you
You still want your prince charming
I can never be like him
- 10.18.14
Feb 2015 · 234
All Along
desolate Feb 2015
I wonder what you would say
If I asked you to be mine again
Will you have second thoughts
Or will you not think at all
Because you know that your answer
Has been no all along
And it hurts because I never stopped being yours
- 10.08.14
Feb 2015 · 253
What If
desolate Feb 2015
I miss you so much, it's scaring me
For what if you're not even thinking of me
What if your mind's too preoccupied
What if there's no room for me inside

While my thoughts are only of you
What if a memory of me does not come to you at all
But darling, know that what scares me the most
Is that constant thought that you don't feel what I do
what if you really don't
- 10.08.14
Feb 2015 · 301
If I Was Enough
desolate Feb 2015
If I was enough, you wouldn't look for someone else
If I was enough, you won't long for anyone else's care
If I was enough, you need not to go away
If I was enough, you would have stayed
If I was enough, we'd still be together
If I was enough, you wouldn't get tired
If I was enough, you would feel what I do
But sadly, I'm just not enough
For you
—And I still remember all the words you said
When you decided to end what we once had
I cannot forget how worthless I felt
For even after all I've done
It still wasn't enough
Feb 2015 · 291
Away
desolate Feb 2015
You had to leave me, too?
And after I got used to being with you?
Yes, you helped me forget the past
But I think you've made things much worse

How stupid was I to believe
That you would stay with me
But how was I to know
That you would also go

I know I built my walls
I just didn't want to fall
I was so tired of getting hurt
Over and over again

But something in you made me think
That you would catch me if I fell
Because for a moment you were different
From all the other people who left

So, I let you get to me
And I was very happy
I knew I wanted you to stay
But that's when I noticed that you've already gone
Away
- sm (07.25.14)

— The End —