Have you ever made a mistake and immediately regretted it?
Like all the contents of your stomach start a rampage of protest.
Where words taste like vile and leave the same impact?

Like your not afraid of the response but that moment
It's painful
Even when you're the one holding the knife

I don't talk a lot, I avoid it like the plague
It hurts my senses- I feel the need to over explain
Compensate for empty space

But I spill out nothing good, my lungs are tar
It drags back any word not harsh enough to break free
Like when you lashed out at your parents as a child

The same feeling of regret but also anger like no one understood
A teenage phase that returns in between breaths
And now you've gutted yourself in front of someone you care for

Because no one is pretty on the inside
I showed that I'm nothing more that maggot filled meat
That I am rotten to the core

Oh sweet little Rose, you act as if I hadn't known
For days, for weeks, of your betrayal

The side words of a horror story- he wanted to die
He said the same words to remove layers of clothes
Said those same words to get a track record of assault

That manipulation would finally see justice
Children would be free of adult hands
But you, little Rose, have killed a damning testimony

Returning to a monster, a ******
I knew it would happen- you return to what gives you attention

I want to know when the lies started
You treated him like a bad guy for so long
Were those all words to assure my comfort

Words to make me think it was fine, that my family could sleep
Yet it appears a court order wasn't even enough to do that
The man that haunted my family was 10 feet from my home

And even then I knew
So enjoy the facade of tonight, it will be the last

Everything that lied between us was fiction;
To me I saw Romeo, begged you saw Juliet somewhere in me
Wrong time, wrong tragedy.
Reliable narration has never been a fact of love
I would give myself up to anyone who could find me
Anyone who would notice, listen, care
I couldn't see, so blind
Romeo died long before our tale
I became your nymphet, a toy of a girl
****** was so pitiful, she's the shadow of my soul
And as we uncoil unknown scars awake
I miss your light, I miss your pain
I miss the things you took away

Seeing unknown shadows pass over the window,
Time has become obscure;
If I sleep in here forever, maybe god will send a cure
Something to sooth my soul
Something to give me rest
Make me remember the lines between the living and the dead
So I'll pray, to a god I don't believe in
Say lines that Sunday school made me believe in
Try to find something to believe in
Because my inability to find reality is dragging down my eyelids

As I am embraced by dawns silent approach I remember a time
One which has no thought, no dire grasps for breath

An emptiness which could comfort the dead and sooth the soul
It's tangled waves of a rising sun dance with me

They sing me wordless songs; those of remembrance,
And the bags beneath my eyes sink into shallow graves

It is the time of rest;

He told the lord to lay her to rubble
Let the ground grow with her blood
And to allow the oh so righteous to grasp her body
For it was mans arrogant belief that she was an object
And when the lord attempted to lay waste
The elder gods arose with passion
And claimed the land beneath the living