It isn't that I don't love them, because often I do.
It isn't that I don't care, because I do that too.

I guess its just that I don't think someone can love someone like me.
I build my garden walls so high that they are impossible to break down.
I'm moody, depressed, and a hot mess.

I'm a blazing fire that will never be put out, and people always get burned playing with fire.
I am an emotional wreck of shattered pieces, and it is easy to get cut on the glass.

Yet, when those class pieces hurt others, it is never because I don't love them, its because I'm a girl that can't handle being hurt again.
I push them away so I can't break anymore.

I'm tired of being like this.
It's just kind of sad that they don't try to fight when I push them away.

I will not stop swimming in a sea because I'm afraid of sharks.

I will not stop dancing because I'm afraid of tripping.

I am not going to stop smiling for fear that you won't smile back.

For that same reason, yes the very same - I won't be quiet for fear of not being heard.

I won't stop being me for fear you may judge me.

We're all going to the same place - down in the ground.

Most of our lives will be summed up in a dash between two dates on a slab of stone.

I'm going to live, and I will be heard because I'm not afraid live - truly live.

Live life to its fullest, you only have one.

Don't let others talk you into silence.

Don't go in your grave before you get a chance to live.

In a secret tomb, my ashes lay.
          It's ashes plea in disparity.

Buried miles deep, in false deceit.
          Suffocating, alive, in agony.

Given freely, my light is gone.
           I've lost myself to a blackened            
           theif.

My heart won't rest.
My mind won't relax.
My words are stained blood.
Your heart I will break.

We write poems, and dance.
We sing and we act.
Sometimes we draw and paint,
        but for what?

Someone once told me,
Write and dance to loose yourself.
That's what I then thought I had to do.
         I was wrong and that was then

I used to think the purpose of art was to loose myself,
but I quickly learned it was to,
         *find myself where I lost myself.

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't possibly be happy with the way you look.
Let me help you, child.
Just loose one pound, its all you need.

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't be happy with that fat!
One or two more pounds can't hurt.
Look, now you've lost three.

Hey, look, your still fat.
Loose a little more weight.
Just a few more pounds.
Soon no one will hate.

Look at how much you've lost,
you poor, fat, child.
Are those ribs?
Just a few more and you'll be perfect.

There goes four,
then five,
six, ten, soon twenty five more.
Look at your ribs.

Skinny, dumb, ugly, child.
You've ended up in the hospital!
Don't you know your supposed to eat.
You were so dumb to listen to me.

I'm trying so hard.

I'm pulling for my words.

I'm stammering.
           I'm stuttering.

It is a sudden rush of worries.

My mind is swimming in thoughts I can't sort.

I'm getting clammy,
            People are staring.

Everyone is going to see the real me.

My heart is quickening.

I'm drowning,
             but everyone else is breathing.

Someone, help me.