I sometimes feel like I

Have taken too big a slice of pie

Like I

Am too small to fulfill my obligations

I

Have bitten off much more than I can chew

I’ll say to you

It frightens me sometimes

In those times beyond the hour of sleep

I sleepless weep

And creep without the lights on

So as not to wake the neighbors

Or the cats in the backyard

Startled by the stirring

So early in the morning

So as not to really be morning

Yet mourning still

Too small to fulfill my obligations

My cobblers making boots to big for me to fill

I fear it still

And try not to think about things too much

At such a time as this

As peace shall surely escape me

How many lives will fit in one

How big a cast can a one man show perform as

Perhaps it was better to pick one thing and stick with it

One small thing

That just one man can do

Just the right size to fulfill his obligations

But the die is cast

The pie from crust is taken

And I’m left shaking at the magnitude

And scared they’ve got the wrong man for the job

It scares me

The fear stares at me and I stare back

Who has my back in this battle of wills

When he has all the ills of Hell

And self-deception

Delusions of Grandeur in the DSM

No no, it can’t be that

I can’t do that

Those boots are huge

And who am I

But a man, I cry

Too small to fulfill my obligations

Where you going to run to
When you find out that God hates you
And everything you’ve learned
Has been turned around in front of you
And written down
Like a manual to fail by
To try to no avail
What use are eyes
To the sighlessness
Of this hapless narcissist
No need for shining eyes of his
Twisted so deep inside himself
He cannot see the sky
What use are ears
When noone speaks to him
Nor tongue that he may speak
He’d scream
And be lost in the din of the endless scrolling dashboard
Forgotten in a heartbeat
As his heartbeat soon forgotten
A life ill gotten
And rotten to high heaven
Until he cries out and rolls over
And soon forgets his dream

I feel the cold air
As I prepare
To face my final wilderness
The wildness inside of us
Conspires endless
To bring us to our knees
I seek the trees
To hold me close
To eat my sins
Protect me from the whims
Of this bleak humanity
Inside of me
And all around me
A festering wound
That will **** its bearer
Ever nearer to those green fields
The earth wields its mighty clubs
And drubs the battered sky
Scattered high the white clouds flee
And me?
I lie below
Swallowed whole
Held by the warm embrace of roots and burrows
Rows and furrows
Scored deep in the earth's surface
Where the life below draws me in
And transmits me back into the stars

Don’t write about the dark things they said

Don’t hide from the truth I replied

Well, part of the truth anyway

Which, any which way you look at it has two sides

A sun which hides its shadow

But even the sun must sleep sometimes

Then creeps and slides the oozy woozy darkness

Of drunks and floozies and drug addicts

Thugs and gangsters, hatchet men and fixers

These nefarious predators and scavengers of the night

Shuttered sight eating victims of urban decay

Never sated in their bloodlust and greed

That need that is so deep 

You could feed it without sleep

Forever and never fill it up

This is reality in our **** city

Where effluent flows down footpaths between bars

Climbs out of cars in high heels or collared shirts

“Sorry mate, not in those shoes"

Drunken harlots beckon rapists and sadists

Transfixed in the ever-pressing lusts of the flesh

Without joy or connection

Or even satisfaction, most of the time

Am I right? Ladies, am I right?

Another wine to fill the soul’s great hole

Another devastating moment when the sun gets in

To find you weeping in your make up

Black streaks down cheeks of bloodless faces

All because nobody told you what was possible

They simply told you what not to do

Which of course you did anyway

Over and over again with the same results

That part isn’t your fault, it’s society’s

It’s religion and propriety’s

It’s dogma and denial’s

The cultural hangover of the morning after the decades before

The holier-than-thou edicts of our preachers and teachers

And leaders without leadership

We’ve cut the slip

Caught the rip

Been flipped so many times we can hardly tell what is useful anymore

The answers you seek are inside yourself

It’s like Rafiki said: “Look harder"

It’s like Sigmund said: “Unexpressed emotions will never die.

They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Our society reflects repressed attitudes to ***

And brings them forth in uglier ways

Like rapes and splays of legs to the most persistent bidder

Soulless sexuality

Stuffing ya pork sword into a drunken receptacle

Such a spectacle

You might swap names in the morning

It’s *** on a tray like a TV dinner

Forget the word “sinner"

It’s the lack of nutritional content that ills

That kills the real deal for these counterfeit thrills

This isn’t some moral crusade

There’s no need to drink the kool-aid

Throw out the gimmicks

But pay attention to the limericks

Be open, be honest

Be Eros, be Adonis

Be Venus, in furs / **** resplendence

Take lovers my dear

Make love and not fear

Turn empty lust in transcendence

It's a beggars lament
Of life before never after
A ***** dirge from the bottom of a broken heart
Plumbed to the depths and left hollow
Spewing forth its thick black fuel
To burn in the engines of strangers
And suffocate the cities
Turn greens to mottled greys
And decay's dusty brown
Coats everything in sight
Until all lose their sight
And sink into dark pits
Despairs and graces
Nameless faces
Since nobody can recognise their brothers and sisters
Past the soot and ashes of their fallen ideals
They broke the only law there was
Live within your means
But paid no heed
For greed we shuffled down the mortal coil
Until our rotted corpses
Became tomorrows oil

Then night fell
And darkness ruled
The sun coming up just a shadow of it's former self
Casting a half light too dim to read by
To frail to see by
Leaving the people scraping walls
Crawling floors and termites tearing down buildings
Cockroaches crunching under hand and foot
Cleaning, always cleaning
As bodies fell where they stood
Hope snuffed stuffing life under the carpet
Filthy with rat **** and acid rain
Disdain and discord
Disconnection
Souls sold at market prices
A bucket's worth for a buck fifty

Falling over the lip of the precipice
Into inky stillness
Where the heart sings dirges
Of the dead and lost souls
Holes poked through and dripping muddy waters
Like the sons and daughters
Of the god of decay
Rusting in the back of the pantheon
Running on down into the catacombs
Of black corridors and Minotaurs
Weeping for salvation
Red hearts beating on pikes in blue flames
That burn hot but no light
Nothing to bright the abject savagery of the surroundings
These things show no mercy
That hold old souls under rusted grates
Sluicing juices into terra firma
Thousands of feet below sea level