The scars fade & I feel the need to replenish them.

It's like a constant nagging at the back of my head;
'One more slit, one more slice. One more cut before you say goodnight.'

Anger brings it back, sadness makes it stay.
I thought this chapter of my life was over, but it's harder each day.

My soul cries as my wrists ache;
my heart dies with each cut I make.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to pick up a razor without thinking of slicing open my skin.

I wonder when this dance with the devil will ******* end.

I want a love on fire; I want passion to ignite my bones.
I want inseparable, all-consuming love; I want can't sleep, can't breathe without you love.
Toxicity.
I want toxic love; love so dangerous, forbidden fruit, the temptation of sin.
I want rebellious love; go against the odds, against the grain.
I want rough love; passionate, so passionate & tender to the touch, yet sharp as glass's edge.
I want intensity, ferocity; undying, unyielding love.
No one else but the one, no one else but each other.
I want one more hit love; one more shot, one more taste love.
I want 'I want you & only you' love,
I want no one above me, no one above you love.
I want true & honest love.
Above all else... I want you, love.

Distance between us, lustful tension rising, & all these words left unspoken.
Mind racing, heart jumping, & I don't think we'll need words at all.
Your hands on your lap suddenly seem too large & I instantly wonder..
What would they feel like around my waist, around my wrists, around my throat;
up my thigh, up my spine, pulling down my hair.
Your hands..
on my neck, on my cheek, over my mouth;
grabbing me, smacking me, ******* me.
Your hands..
Make me blush & tingle in places you've yet to see.
My sweet lover, don't kiss me;
make me bite my lip.

Intertwined & engulfed.
Bodies tangled, hearts racing.
Mind spinning, lips numb.
The curve of your lips, the color in your eyes;
the touch of your body pressed softly against mine.
The words that are whispered, the tales that are told;
my heart falls for you, my feelings tenfold.
You tell me the words I secretly hope for,
but quickly vanish right out the front door.
I'm not naïve, I know it was true,
but why did I have to fall in love with you?
You were never mine & never can be,
so now I must let you go & rid you of me.
You were never mine, never mine to be;
you were only just a crush.. & you crushed me.