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I kissed the air and knew you had never been here
maybe one day we would share the same air

If I yell from the highest building in my city
and you yell from the highest building in your city
Will the screams ever meet?
It's one hundred degrees and I can barely hear the record player over every fan thats blowing
I haven't moved all day
I'm starting to think this mattress has taken a real liking to me
Bringing me reoccurring dreams of you gently kissing my knees.

Sometimes these stitches get so tight
I can hardly open my mouth
all my wisdom teeth are falling out
So many unimportant things our bodies create
only to be removed
only to stop the pain.
I write to escape you.
I write to escape the thought of you.
Conflicted//Emotions
***** you//Functions
Just what I’d like to say,
But let’s keep it tight-lipped.

Three’s a barrier, here.
Finding desperation there.
Unintelligible governmental back-funding to the cerebral cortex of the unintended consequences of the Raven’s fighting the Foster System.

Forgetting Unbecoming, Consistently Klepto-Issues Negating Greatness
Place Ignorance and Close Kept UPbringing
YOUR
Self Hating Innocent Tainting
There's a secret message here...
Oh, it's you again
I had hoped I wouldn't see you for awhile
Like maybe you lost my address and couldn't find me at all.
But it's you....
I recognize you by the tears streaming
Down my face
By the heaviness in my heart.
I know it's you again
Because suddenly I'm crippled on the floor
With broken legs and broken wings.
I see that it's you again
By the way you confiscate my enjoyment of music, art and laughter.
I feel your presence
by my inability to do simple tasks without dread.
It's you again because breathing, talking, sleeping feel forced.

I didn't invite you back.

In fact I've told you that you aren't welcome here anymore.
I've screamed "GET OUT!"
Yet you have the nerve to show up again.
You are not going to win.
Let me say that again.
You WILL NOT WIN.
You lie to me that spirit has left.
You manipulate my thoughts with poison.
You coerce me into believing you are stronger than me....
Stronger than the divine.
I do not associate with liars
Therefore I will not acknowledge your presence.
Now, kindly walk out the door of my psyche
So that the divine may settle in with my soul.
She closed one grey eye
and watched as
the now
scortched
diamond dust
slowly
settled into a
small
pool at  
the bottom
of the bubble.
A tiny heart pounded
like a turbine piston
hard and relentless
against her bare,
freckled dressed chest.
Small beads of
sweat formed
then dried almost
immeditly
down her bare back
and in between
the small mounds
she wore as *******.

She closed her right eye and
held the wand
up towards the
bare bulb light.
She watched transfixed
as the once delicate,
man made,
toxic concoction
that was now
a heated puddle
of stimuli cooled.
Then brought forth images
of great stretching snow flakes
and shattered
diamonds reaching
all throughout
the bubble tipped
tool  she had
taken in as a lover.

And there will
be no sleep
tonight for the
Down Town dealers
and this delicate
lost soul with
diamonds
in her  eyes.
Theres too many
memories that
need to be
tamed ,
too many
nightmares to
give in to sleep.
Stay awake ,
create more time
and consume every bad
thing that's before
you.

Seek out a cold
place in the night,
then stare at the heavens
while  shaking
a clenched fist upon
the serpents.
As our world reveals
more another
falls,picks up
a tool  and
turns to what works.

Choosing the
easy way out
is never an easy
decision.
As crystals cool
then melt again
another decision has
turned to
death in the
form of a captive
life without
freedom enough to
care or breath.

She walked toward
the window and
stood naked
and high before
the city.
A tear tumbled
and dried
before it ever
left her face.

Another diamond
obsessed ,dreamless
dreamer,
waiting out the
night,dealing with
the madness and
sharing none
of her horrors
with the shadowed
world she was forced
to haunt.
Living every hour
wide  awake,
wired and full
of pills.
Desperate for some
other place thats
far away from here.

Slowly
and quietly
dying an older
souls death.
Far before
what should
have been
her peaceful
and merciful
kind of ending.
Its not healthy to stay up at night,
pouring bitter liquor down our throats,
trying to erase the sweet promises that were whispered into our ears at 4 am,
that filled our empty hearts.
Those promises were eventually broken,
and so were our hearts,
so we were left
feeling torn
*again.
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