I allow you to feel better
To feel progress
You can’t disturb me
I’m mangled
But I’m whole
I’m crippled
I’m a fool
I’m neither boy nor girl
I’m a monster
I’m a book no one wants to check out
Shelved, dusty, never overdue-
A story no one wants to read
Meat and metal
Bone and gristle
Firm monkey mind
I sneeze, blow my life into a flower
And drift away like a balloon

Bared every piece of my soul
I knew how
Still these trees remain barer
Thrown a hundred frisbees in spring
Turned a thousand saucers in fall
Still pie in the sky wins
Watched a lot of people
Seen a ton of smiles
Still trust is obsolete
Walked a million streets or more
Tamed even more shoes
Still I’ve gotten nowhere
Read all the books they told me to
Seen all the classic flicks
Still most amazed by fire’s flicker
Every city seems the same
Every person less a wonder
Still they say life is wonderful
And the wedding gowns blend into the snow
I somehow like them better that way
Still one or the other seems off-white
Plucked the petals off a garden
Wished on endless shooting stars
Still no miracle of love

This trap
Creates a trance
Looking down
Things would be different
How natural is it
Inside a snow globe
Run by computers
Practicing witchcraft
As accidents happen
In cars an in houses
And the crooked ones
Create more Holdens
More scapegoats
Who’re dumber than rocks
In a storm with a raincoat
Looking up
Things should be different
As Santa claws through our heads
Our minds wish for mud dolls
What will they look like
In heaven’s matinee-
Blood on the snow
Under a blue sky

A woman’s sin
Can cause earthquakes,
Mudslides and hurricanes
Woman is subservient
To these tornados,
Tsunamis and storms
It’s in her nature
For chaos to reign
Trying so hard to be good
Fighting what’s innate
Woman is a *****,
A Madonna
A crying mother
Shifting like a chameleon
Woman yearns to be filled
Woman clings to despair
That unravels like a favorite worn shirt
Woman has devil in her genes
But is powerless to change
Fighting a losing battle
Woman needs attention,
Unbreakable pact of trust
Cause man is not tied nor bound by
Monthly bleeding, ovulation
Man destroys pain with reason
Man’s undivided mind leaves
No room for guilt
Man is ego in the moment
Yearning to stay hungry
Man grieves until the moment disappears
Loving the anonymous body
Lacking the ability to understand the mind
Man wants to expose what needs hiding
Man treks the land but fears the sound
Of acorns falling on a roof
Man recognizes there’s more to Eden
Than the garden
Man seeks to tame nature
But regeneration and rebirth rule
An only woman can assist this
As our toes spread out like tree roots
And ghosts sway in the branches
We’re reminded by the deer, the fox, the raven-
Chaos reigns
And nature blooms as it corrupts

They call it repressed
But the memory’s gone
I swear, it’s gone
Can’t you see the struggle
Can’t you see the fight
Can’t you enter my body, my mind
I suppose you can’t
Got me thinking it’s all a trap
Got me thinking body-snatchers
Got you thinking of ironic ways
Got you thinking of my end
Never meant for it, no
Thought you’d read the words
Not twist them, no
So where do the sinners of misunderstanding go
Never an answer, just gridlocked throes
I’ve believed it for so long, still haven’t seen the pros
Just ex-cons with teeth for wings
Black angels never wept like this before
No, black angels never wept like this before

Antsy and tired
All of the time
*** belly
Where no baby should be
Going on only what was said
Always misinterpreting
And a football game
Is win or lose
To some it’s live or die
I see now what it is to be
I see now what it means to fly
Don’t know how the cherubs turned to demons
But just as quickly they took the right form
I never wanted these angels to be demons
I see now that limits end with heights
And now, all I want is to be alright
Don’t care about being right
Right now all I want is to be alright
By you
And who knows why
I prefer things better broken and frayed
Don’t want to be a symbol for why our God
Allowed me to be made
Yeah, cause what I have hurts
Oh well

In a blinded alley
In a tornado’s eye
Otherwise known as
Eternal blindness
So they build you up
Build you up, good
A near-perfect potion
A headstrong, rooted wood
Enter their domain
On a stretcher of wills-
Questionable, collective thrills
Throw pennies in their fountain
Till piggy bank’s in debt
Still there seems one thought
They haven’t collected yet
So they build you up
Outnumbered, how dare you try
To stay tough
Enmeshed in accidents your head
Is not aware of
Still your heart pangs with guilt
From an unknown source
Future hospital bills
Or maybe it’s their stares, glares
And cheap hellos
Their confession of only keeping you around
To see you crawl on all elbows
An all the twilight abductions
Poke, **** and nod your head
Cause it’s all really happening
But you’ve no way in hell to prove it
Didn’t know telepathy could be so
Unsterile, so unclean
As seed is stolen from your bloated belly
Your drowning genes
Your mutilated mind
Your soon extinct scene
They didn’t know you already
Held back the moon in a dream
What excruciating payback
For an unremembered accident
Brought on by your words of now
Echoing your thoughts of then
Plaguing me
Cursing me for the later

Tumor bloom
Tumor grew
Tumor who
Rumors flew
Tumor removed
Tumor who
We still can’t figure out what is wrong with you
And you can’t raise your hand in a test tube
Bloated yellow belly on hands of blue
Investigate through shaky fingers, how dare you
It’s only our job to watch you
Watch you fade away, cry at your funeral
An through sobs of joy, claim we were there for you
Are you still with Us?
Are you still with Us?
Well here’s another object we can put a piece of your soul in
Chock full of nothing at the bottom of the ocean
-----
Well, I only stuck around to hear the details from your mouth
Perhaps to share some with you, but you never asked, you assumed
Just like I did when he told me he did it with a smug, smug grin
Just like I did when I returned to my body with plastic near every inch
Guilty by the first, but I swear I wasn’t there for the rest
Take a dose by ten, wash it down with tainted gin, let’s see how well you land
I wanna see how well your body lands
And all this I’ve gathered through a hell made up of your eyes
Didn’t have the luxury of tape to ease my long-gone mind
There were some things to repress, long before this
I’ve pried open every vault, to find this wasn’t one of them
No, this wasn’t one of them
And your spies, my friends, were your spies
Who are you this time
And my friends, were your spies
So I divulged the icing with a glazed smile
Yeah I divulged nothing, but I tried
I tried
Closing my eyes I see your future objects
An one day you’ll be under the curtain
Yes, one day you’ll be under the curtain
Observed, abducted, catatonic, fried
This world hates absolution
When I’m gone
Maybe a ghost can jog my memory
That was too much for you to do
----
Tumor bloom
Tumor grew
Rumors flew
Tumor removed
Tumor who?
Tumor who?

On a train
Where no one cares where I go
On a platform
You somehow reach me against the odds
We quarrel, we fight, until exhaustion
And the moment of my freedom
Just happens to be your moment of self
Moment of salt
And I bleed tears
Knowing the timing
It’s always the right time for tragedy
My tragedy
Your weekly release
Of salt
Takes a lot, I know
But it’s not enough
It’s not
What’s under the belt
It’s what’s under the skin
That you can’t ever
Understand
Understand
What’s another word for
Understand

In a fire
In a file you look for her
For he
In a file
In a fire you look for ashes
For proof
For need of
Something
To ignore the crutch you shared with her
With he
Part of some plan
Still you shared
Counterfeit
Flowers
Hours
And your own creeds
What good is guilt when you’re dead
And holy ghost always forgives
Who’s right as rain when you’re
Never forgiven
Who has that luxury
Who has that certainty
It’s always hours
And more flowers
It’s always
Prepare than relieve
Prepare than relieve
Where’s that in between
Where’s that black clean

The delights are many
But sweetness is scarce
Sedation is plenty
The rest is a farce
The leaves are bat-wings
The berries are stale
The log- hollow, rotted-
A breath could impale
And yet it stands so
A beautiful beacon
To those that broke homes
And small towns did weaken
Away they flock to the lonely hills
Where each ad is the piper’s tune
Of silent wishes unfulfilled an
Angels weep three times before noon

You know nothing
I know less
Seems the whole world spins on
An uneducated guess
Connected dots replace
Moon’s curiousness
An upon a shooting star
I wished for death

Flickering rotation
Signals all is strangely fixed
Like a warrant on my life
For obscured charges
They love to say they care
As they play in hyacinths
Upon the ashen horse I pray
More time for forgiveness

Her arrival comes
When the winged-ones
Are all gone
What an ironic
Punishment
Love and war
They were supposed
To conceive
Something we earthlings
Call peace
But it seems we’re still split
Into sects of save the trees
And warrior’s armor
How’s it possible
To violate one’s own will
Did you?
Did you?
Bright shadows remain a mystery
Mystery always equals death
But despite her injuries
She still hasn’t left
Peccavimus
Is written on Venus
As the crowd throws
Old tomatoes on her stage
Chanting ‘he’
In the name of progress
In the name of
All that they can’t understand
She’s made of all the skins you throw away
She’s made of all the skins you throw away

The screws are tightening round my skull
In the same place where all the voices come from
Though this is no accident, no health misfortune
By now, yes, I’ve begged for it, begged for it to come
You call yourself a killer, well then finish the job
You call yourself a thrill, but the ones from me are all you’ve got
This terra is not my pill, when all kind monsters are forgot
As the real terror slaps on Maybelline, straps on a guitar
Somewhere in Xayide’s lair lies my memories
Packed like spheres of glass in a gumball machine
Someday I’ll return to sepia and monochrome
As another Dorothy clicks her heels…
*(Going anyplace but home)

Hysterical witch
Demonic *****
Weak and hungry always
But mostly unbalanced
Pet
How dare you reach
For what you need
When I can
Give you what I want
Receptacle for love
Receptacle for blood
Receptacle for seed
Receptacle for everything

Make a mistake in someone’s home
They’ll fill you with insecticides
Till your insides start to glow
And through your walls, they’ll come at night

Soon delirium works full time
As your brain penetrates the paint
It’s like seeing through a fly’s eyes
You linger between two realms till you faint
(Again & Again…)

What a convenient cold dish, this revenge
I’m stuck inside this Kafka parody, till the end
Up ahead the silhouettes read my damaged mind
They **** out all the prophecies through a hole in my spine

The most malicious never show themselves
They’ll poke, **** and ride you to a place beyond hell
In a vessel made up of your nerve-damaged nightmares
Price to pay as the gift, sacrificial snare

Cleaning your clock at the Watchtower

The moon is a disco-ball upon black waters
The sun is a lava-lamp upon our pale backs
Planets are mines for department store jewelry
Hearts are black-lights for otherworldly knick-knacks
Truth is an onion; it peels and makes you weep
Earth is a landfill where bones and secrets sleep

Walking in America
Walking underwater from the waist-down
With a head full of quicksand
I’m among the few remaining souls
Left to burst and burn in this wasteland, purgatorial
As newspaper editorials camouflage me in a whirlwind
And the remains of everyone I’ve ever known and loved sting my eyeballs
What will be my grand undoing?
Talking to thineself
As I embark on a quest where free will is His divine’s bile duct
Was all of this at His behest?
And all of the survivors now share a common theory:
Hell is outer space where nothing happens
Heaven is this dreary place- Heaven is chaos
I need some sea and sand and land to curl up and protect myself in
But even if I outstretch with no bullets flying at me
The bugs and weird fishes will probably kick me off their property

Alice is being put back into the basket
The last thing she saw were pelican wings
She’s being shipped off to Africa, Alaska, Antarctica
Where all her ideas won’t mean a thing
Barrel of monkeys, household deities
Ballerina idol figurines
Empty harvest, ashen dreams
Scapegoat of all mystery
Send her to Babylon, Venus, New York
Build her a temple for the deported
Cause she’ll never be destroyed
Just atrociously unemployed
While everyone back home
On their counterfeit thrones
Saturate the seventh day
Plagiarizing her decay
So keep the lid on tight
Say your prayers as you fight
Off chaotic thoughts
And warnings made in tears
As Alice is being put back into the basket
We continue bobbing for apples

Backsliding, broken off the tree
How does one repair an ancient prophecy
Judgment begins with the good
As the wicked wait in scents of wood
And crooked generations cut all hearts
Chiseling salvation is an art
Fiery trial lit by lamps, powered by the sweat of soul
Smile, He only tempts until you lose all control
Sunshine days are over, all that remains is light-
The quest that’s worth a million murdered brides
The holy one is stuck in traffic
As future spawn make a racket
He can’t come back until no one
Mourns his death under the sun
Only then will skies depart-
Bronze mountains, horses stark
Then all the fiends will fall out of the clouds
Like mother’s water breaking on a shroud

Junk monkeys with leather whips
Bearing a new crucifix
No more worries ‘bout impotence
When *** means to devour
Accidental elegance of fate
Minus some extra water weight
This new hunger has the taste
Of never laughing freely
And Jesus with his puncture wounds
And fingers stretched like on a loom
The tales among the tall weeds grew
The killer is the martyr
And all the iron butterflies
They sit around the fireside
Learning to evolve the night
Under a lava-moon
Stumbling down the lost highway
Groaning trees exalt your sway
With crimson chins, no time to pray
Racing with the morning star

I am the last and the first
I am the best and the worst
I bridge the gap so you can walk
But I'm not supposed to talk

Can't shake these sins of grandeur
When I don't even know their names
I'll always be cool in your book
But never cruel enough

Stuck in this body-bag of skin
Vegetable smiles and grins
But bones always cast
Darker shadows than the flesh

What flavor is your marrow
How's your flying buttress castle
Is it filled with neon sparrows
Or dancing northern lights

Trip the light fantastic tango
Never be afraid to move
No matter how slow
No matter where you go
Don't want to be stuck
Reaching for the moon

Sorrow is pleasure played in reverse
Thirty-two bucks and a white leather purse
Serious ones have serious foes
Three pretty Mary's all in a row

Preserving oblivion
Friendship's in the past tense
Hallowed hollow strong straw men
Detox your polluted souls
Try to begin again

I met a man with lifts in his shoes
Watery eyes and a clicking tongue
As I washed my hands, disbanded
He gave me some dreamboat advice
And a house to go with it
He said to follow the money trail
Up an up an up you go
And freedom means never
Having to go to trial
And don't forget to stay
Underestimated
And always **** them with kindness
He lives in a pre-war clock tower
It's a family building
But he loves the twentieth century
His associates are beautiful
But in my dream they were made of cardboard
Cause he made my girlfriend cut her curly locks
And paint one wall yellow
But now my plain Jane has delusions
She can't stand mirrors
And claims he shot the angels on her shoulders
With an invisible gun
He said vanity is a perfect eight
As he rubbed his pinky ring
He knows the root of every game tree
Still he loves to test me
It gives him a shiny glow

I'm tired of all these fake backbiters
Their petty tongues can't ******* desire
It lies beyond these dives and old tires
Beyond the earth and the funeral pyre
Cause every pair of friendly eyes
Contains a knave, a *****, a spy
They salivate on the juice of your mistakes
Pry open your wounds, so they can smile
This wicked little town is full of dreamers
Local hopefuls, kind souls and believers
Also known as calumny beamers
Bankrupt spirits, synthetic schemers
So pardon me if my presence I detract
Rather face the Tree than a talebearer's fact
You curse my organs, my ornamental torment
So from the Shadow, I'll never look back
Humiliation is the purest ruse
It's all fun and games until someone gets truth
But these stigmatas will turn to bruises
And from this place, I'll be destitute
A real friend
Always gathers up ammo
Incase the end comes
Guess I never got the memo

If Alice stayed in Wonderland, I wonder what she'd find.
Would the revolution come? Or would we stay in double-bind?
Did Carroll have a migraine? Or a tumor in his head?
Is violet the favorite color because blood was meant to be shed?
What if a brunette fell down the rabbit hole? Would she even fall?
Or would she be too busy speaking to clouds, which speak to us all.
Would the Hatter be a shaman, or a schizophrenic fool?
Would he be put away on Earth, if indeed he broke the rules?
Would Alice have encountered serpents? Or was she bit from the start?
Would her sword still be a weapon? Or an inverted cross?
Did she believe in holy spirits, and evil that impaled?
Did she believe in gender wars, where zygotes did prevail?
Was there a sun in wonderland? Was it the biggest star?
What if Bethlehem had no nightfall, would they still see It from afar?
What was Alice's sign? Or was she the bulls-eye?
Or perhaps she was the 13th sign, and therefore never cried.
Did she recite the alphabet, and wonder where the letters lie?
A Beast, Love Man, Your Death, Count ZzZ's... (Don't be surprised.)
Is every day a mental health day in Wonderland? Do they believe in Halloween?
Do they remember past lives, as they remember Alice? Do they celebrate Christmas Eve?
If the Queen of Hearts was cut in half, would a question mark remain?
Did Jesus make a big mistake, and so we live in vain?
After the dragon's death, did Alice get bored?
Or did she start to play with pitchforks, knives, spoons and swords?
Did Alice believe in God? And was there knowledge in the tree?
And was this knowledge poison, or did it set her free?

In School
In a pool of cliches
I meant to define myself
I meant to stand out without trying
I meant to excel
But without that skill
You simply rebel
Or repel
Laws of attraction
Simple, really
They preach us to learn
But really they meant
"Know how to burn"
Classy, lightly, a flicker
Don't fade out
Last till you're blue
When you're blue
Wait till the burn-out
Don't wet your naive fingers
Even if it takes a million years
That or take an occupation
A job
(More like Job)
Endure your suffering
Put air into a dead corpse
Celebrate Columbus day
Know your atoms
Twenty-six times none is Eight
And it flows and flows
But they don't show you
The importance of rivers
They don't show you
The importance of clouds
They don't show you
The importance of being shrouded
In an aura all your own
They just show you how to blend
Mix of wool an apartheid
Don't blend, just weave
Breathe in, breathe out
That's all you're made to do
Breathe in, breathe out
And be happy to die
Just be happy to die

California gold-rush blues
Got you pretty thirsty
Where's tank girl when you need her
Saliva thick
Lump in throat
Tongue swelling
Neck swollen
Can't breathe
Drowning
Shrinking skin
Hallucinations
Eyelids crack
Tears of blood
Leather-purse face
Amputated lips
Nose withered
Eyes trapped
We're all exported and exploited
Sold sanely cheap
Used how the rich see fit
Dead in one week
Ecosystem crashing
All for their mansions
Filled with rooms they never use
Profit ******
We see oceans through our windows
97 percent
97 percent
3 percent for you and none for us
Little boy is drinking bubbles
But it ain't champagne
It's dead dogs and fetus juice
Dog dogs and abuse
Where are the wetlands
Where are the holy springs
Soon we'll all be Atlantis
Just another lost city
Soon we'll be living
In underground caves
Like cowards
We all want roses in our garden bower
But the best heroes
Might as well be slaves
Global desert
Without rain
Green turns yellow
Here come the earthquakes
****** forest
Rest in peace
They erected cities
In your memory
Cartels and shades of grey
Vivendi, Veolia
Machines with no soul
Privatizing blue gold
In their corporate quads
Woe to WTO
The new colonialism
Coca Cola 7-Up
Sorry but your time is up
Destroy everything you touch
When it's gone
Get up and leave
Destroy another planet
**** and conquer
SLAPPing silly pointless fools
Transporting silly tools
Shooting all the people's people
Got to pull up the roots
Bullets through lace curtains
Has a ring to it
You spineless cruel leaders
With your oil rivers
Well you've made a rival now
World map's changing underground
Alternatives are scarce
Purity is all but lost
Path of least resistance blocked
Metamorphosizing clocks
Circulation down the train
Don't drink the red water
Just pray for rain

Midori trees and

Verde fields, no greenbacks on

Emerald Isle

Crooked, Tempest, Spineless F*ck
The worst intentions with the best of luck
****, Take, "Pancake"
Consume, Devour, Fire in the Lake
Do yourself once in awhile,
Let me be.
Mosey along, claim to be free
Pocket full of posies and stains on your knees
Give in to what they want,
Cause it's all you ever knew
Pockets full of knives and blood on my shoes
Do yourself once in awhile,
Let me be.
Arrived in new lands, to conquer or claim?
Call it your home, I wish it your bane
No more identity, no more home
Pining away from cracks in the throne
You stole something I could never own
Do yourself once in awhile,
Let me be.
This carcass is dead, you've bled me dry
But there's more to these bones than meets the eye
Maybe one day you'll dig me up
Uncover the mystery amidst the muck
Than I could tell you the difference
Between saving a life and living a lie
Do yourself once in awhile,
Let me be.
The Polygamist and his Pharmacy Keys
"Worship me or you'll catch my disease."
I'm crawling on the ground but I'll see you in the sky
Where the ship will abduct, and Sophia says Hi.

You see
But what do you see?
Who is me?
Just a computer brain
They thrive on duality
To be or not to be
And I can't trace their patterns
Even with my telescopic eye
Perhaps they've got a program
For that type of illness too
But they don't tell you
How to use it against them
No, they prefer to herd you in
Like pre-slaughtered cattle
Shaking their death rattles
In every step you take
In every moment lies a place
You'll see once again
It's not deja vu
It's just them peering in inside of you
But you're no machine
You're not a circus beam
They can walk upon cause
They have crossed all the lines already
They have all took the time
Just a matter of minutes
Passed on information from the elders
That don't exist
They burnt all the books
So how can we know
If it's really about how it looks
Or how it feels
How can we tear apart
The inevitable lies and starts
There is no beginning
There is no end
Look outside your window
Nothing has changed
Except three little birds
And two little trees
And one little piece
Of stolen geometry
Don't meet your maker
Meet the architect
He's the boss
He foresees the costs
Of everything that
You once cherished
And that you lost
You can claim you have it all
But you most likely belong
In a store window
Heaven and hell
Outer-space or underground
You decide

Boastful cat
Saturn rain
Night is dull
Dull blades still slay
City craves rustic sway
And these white houses
Are the grave
(Thunder brings a night of lust
Christmas lights are empty trust)
Should've been a raindog time
But the clouds had fate for eyes
Someone shot a feverish arrow
And laughed as I went blind

Pink room
Red womb
Blackened heart
***** spoon

Opened my eyes -- The mirror fooled and did tricks on me -- Pelicans and temporary ghosts -- Like a pleasant phantom come to visit -- Until it reared its ugly head and showed its face -- It took all my grace -- Swan lake -- Sky high -- Pace and word -- Makes clear as it distorts -- No war and peace -- Foes and cohorts -- Just everything you've adored and everything they'll abhor -- And nothing more -- Should have put thoughts on paper -- Couldn't hold a pen -- Three days of geometric chaos -- And a lifetime of no symmetry -- Should have never reentered the cave -- Shadows on the walls -- Filled with tattooed luck -- Now I'm Cecilia in a bathtub -- Waiting for the inevitable -- With demons on my shoulders -- Incubi atop me -- Genies above me -- Elves behind me -- Dirt below me -- And cult claws on my walls -- Stuck in symbol-land with constant mock cymbals -- TV laugh-track plays every step I take -- Sterile and over-sensitive -- Can't ever get numb -- Screaming babies and French sirens -- Eureka's ball court -- Xibalba's darkhouse -- Doomed to rot -- Would've aced the other tests -- Eating glass -- Metnal mental -- Raggedy Ann -- .Extravagant *** -- Yellow wallpaper on every face -- Painted blue for sacrifice -- Puppet overnight -- Trying to gut truth -- But so far the mystagogues have webbed tongues -- And the angels all have angles --

Cameras in the walls.
Voices in my head.
Static or feedback?
LSD in water bottles.
Poison in my food.
No harm, no foul?
Blue Typing Gibberish on Digital TV.
Blurry Radio Frequency.
Communication breakdown?
Narcs wearing rainbow flags.
Cops dressed as man's best friend.
Do you see how they draw you in?
Whispers, stares and secrets.
Friends, liars, friars.
Who is really there?
Noises in the basement.
Sadistic faces in the windows.
Where is my knife?
Laughing hyenas
Spineless Lizards
Aren't they so pretty?
Misplaced belongings.
A key that looks copied.
Can we move to outer space?
Bad cell phone reception
Suspicious men in suits
Am I guilty of something?
Trauma-based mind control.
****** hell in a bottle.
What's the formula?
Reach out Reach out
Help Help
"Would you like a Noose?"
Paranoia, Ignorance
Gnosis, Bliss
Curse or blessing?
Burn a bridge
Burn a bridge
Burn a bridge?

She put a bullet in my head
Still she hated my ghost
So she filled her guitar with dynamite
Then strapped it to my host
Thinking no one would come
To pick up my pieces
And she was right
Until I had an impulse to sing
I sung her song against her with glee
And in her cold heart
She knew she was a lover
But she was no dancer

So she turned our battle
Into the biggest school-charade
"Barons of suburbia
Cast your votes
Who likes who better?"
Till I was laughed off the stage
Started to sink to her level
Even without a body
I started to sink to her level
Just another pale face
With unfinished business

It's the poison she serves
It spreads thin like butter
On all you once thought beloved
Till it rises like black sea-foam on the bog
And as I go through my
Daily evaporations
I often wonder where she'd be
Without all her little helpers
Her elves and her salesmen
And even those who pull her strings
Did dear daddy pull her strings
Till live and let live
Became live and let not?

She on the inside of out
I on the outside of in
You think they'd be one and the same
But they're not
She was begotten
But she was forgotten
So she turned to the only trade left
Operating on deceit
******* to the beat
Of second-hand news
She can't create
So she manipulates
Turning the decay of others
Into an art form for her eyes

But she could never hold a candle
In my darkness
And I'll never tremble at her words
They're adjectives, not verbs
And she may set my robes to shame
With the flame of her armor
But she'll never sit under the shade
Of the tree that doesn't rot
Cause I may die a little death each day
But you can't **** the same thing twice
One victory is all you need, says she
But will I see her in another life?

Tiny silver ***** are strewn across the floor
They roll this way and that, and somehow they meet
Only listen now if you're abhorred
By those with hearts frozen in concrete

You're a snowflake
You're a riverbed, baby
Degraded, serrated
A membrane that's in pursuit
Of nothing trivial
You've got energy
You've got your own order
Nevermind the hoarders
Of organization
You're a tornado
You're lightning, baby
Striking, frightening
A light that can't die
From something miniscule
Stay like an icicle
Frozen in the cave of a volcano

Tiny silver ***** are strewn across the floor
They roll this way and that, and somehow they meet
Only listen now if you're abhorred
By those with hearts frozen in concrete

A giant was killed by his little friend
Bang bang, the vessels burst
And as the former faded fast
The second, his brain went dead
A black vacuum came
And all their atoms shot out fireworks
They were reborn in different form
One of their cells a cyan sphere
Bouncing through the veins
And as the new creature weaves a blanket
For its cold, lonely lap
It ****** a finger and species perish
While the rest stay trapped

You were the broken boy
The misguided little toy
No one believed that you would
No one ever thought you could

But you sure got your revenge
Drawing X's on the faces of
Little girls who said they'd never bend
And now that power's in your hands
Why would you stop at Senseless Stares,
No One Cares, and Just for Fun
Why not attack The One Who Got Away
And she came, and she stayed too long

Your mouth didn't move
It didn't have to
Cause she heard you loud and clear:
"You've done everything you should
But I've got debts to pay
And my collectors think it would
Be best to delay
This game
Just for our amusement
Just to feed your delusion
Just to add some fusion
To our boring little days"

Your sewing circle of assumption grew
An immaculate consumption of a lie
Cause we know fiction holds the truth
And now the townspeople echo laughter
Everywhere she goes
Shouting,
"Look it's a freak, let's take a peek
Look it's the freak, let's take a piece,
Or why not take it all"

You got the blessing
And you had the day-old blues
She got the curse
So you hand her the noose
With a smile
And the passing of a ruse

The last one without a chair
When the music stops
The last one holding the gourd-
Pain is always passed on
To the one not willing to
Dish it out
In accordance with the norm

Now the little horror's
Slain but standing
All for the sake of judgment,
Scarlet letters and a grudge
And your summer lovin' torture party

But she never underestimated you
She wanted to believe in you
She should've hit the floor
And it should've ended there
You should've let her hit the floor
But you had eleven more stations to score

Run away with your aching
Your little savior is now
Bashed, ripped and torn
But he has designs on you
A tune to block out all the tunes
Your little girl can't play
On her pretty, lame guitar

You and your kin
Hope you all drown in all your
Videotape
Your cosmic movie
Will have an ugly face
And when you reach the junkyard
I hope she gives you paper cuts

Mountain by Mountain
Link by Chain
Tuft by Tuft
A High Crest wave
Will wash you both away

Van Gogh lost an ear
And ****** was born
Something tells me history
Will repeat itself
Is repeating
Roots to grow
Roots to pull up
Like the near future
My star-clock keeps resetting
Connect the dots
I don't believe in accidents
And I'm the most sane I'll ever get
Call it what you will
In the waves and on the ground
Is where I find myself
And yet that's where
The enemy lies
Or say they tell me
Another truth turned on its head
The weight of my decisions
You can't handle
Yet it's not your heart
Frozen to the mantle
In the clouds
Eyes peer down
A ***** on a mechanical bull
A cup transformed into a robot
They sure have eyes everywhere
Turning big sister into a threat
And if we're all headed underground
Why the mixed bait of suicide and peace
Danger or sleep
And if it all happens for good reason
Why the dependency on TV skies
Hearts or eyes
Read the diagram of a head
If it makes you sleep sounder in bed
But the anatomy of a mind
Will put your concrete beliefs in double-bind
Roots to grow
Roots to pull up
The future is here
Our star-clock keeps resetting

It's such a silly paradox
The lonely man
The island of one
Till someone enters your stage
Then you love, leave and turn the page
Cause a spirit needs to be nurtured
And most of us haven't felt that since birth
So why bother trying
When they sing freedom songs
From shackles of iron

But why not skip
On the cruelty of duel thoughts
You could be crazy or corporate
But your real father is spread wide open

I know your brain is bleeding
You rather have it broken then
Try to mend a torn hem
Living for the moment
Can make you rather numb
So you wear your jeans inside out
Hoping the future comes
Sticks and stones
Bring warmth to your bones
But words will always hurt you

But why not skip
On the cruelty of duel thoughts
You could be crazy or corporate
But your real father is spread wide open

Everyone around you
Is wearing the face of Jesus
But you see their roots
From the Judas tree
And they hit
Every branch
On the way down
Back to square one
Is back to the flora
And dumb

Soul mates
Are stolen crates of wishes
Forget love letters
Forget drug & *** woos
All we want is a friend
Funny how friend is now taboo
Pick a pocket full of daisies for no one
No one wants a pocket of something that dies
Yet we all die
We all perish
So why does it matter what we give
As long as we give freely
Instead we take cheaply lavish
And shove it in our pockets
Of bed-posts, of lamp-shades
Of never-seen river-glades
Where we bury the bodies
Of souls we never knew
Never took the time to
Never had the mind to sense
All these warning bells and chimes
Could never recompense
For time spent
For words lent
So cheaply
We've grown so cheaply
Accept a videotape
Watch the actions
Ignore the lips not moving
Watch the actions
Ignore the edits
Watch the actions
Miss the key plot
Sleep through it
Too busy dozing off
You've missed it
We could've had it all
If only we had time
But we missed it
Me one moment off
You a lifetime

I'm shaken
But they keep trying
To stir me
Quiet echoes
Of taunts outside my head
Any therapist would disagree
I'm swallowing spirits
And it's making me sick
Prehistoric birds
Getting revenge on my walls
And every speck of paint
Is an eyeball on a stick
And I'm turning on a spit
In my ear, a toothpick
Place your bets,
****** friends,
As to when I'll get stiff
Secreting secrets
From another world
Where no one goes
To see about a girl

I walk with fire
They'll never know the burn
No blue oceans
No blue skies
No tomorrows when you're
Constantly running
To the left and to the right
Some call it feeling alive
But it's more like dying
One second at a time
Some want to follow it down
But there's no bottom in this town
And every time the sun rises
You'll put on another face
And every time the sun goes down
The past is erased
It's crawling through
The bedroom window again
I've fought it for a lifetime
So it's time to accept
It's crawling through
My bedroom window again
The angel disappeared
As I cried my last tear
Upon torn pages
And red curtains
Who's responsible
For your sins
It's crawling through
The bedroom window again

Today I set a bird afire
Didn't know the consequence
I admired their flight
Thought they were angels
But some winged creature told me otherwise

They told me to be careful
But the entire world's a playground
Still when I swing and jump and scream
I'm hanging behind bars
With those who say the answer is anarchy

My soul signs its signature in blood
Didn't know the reasoning
Behind great fires of floods
Thought it was coming
But some demon told me it's a hoax

Today I learned to speak in tongues
Didn't know I'd make new friends
I admired their voices
Thought they were comrades
But some man with a key told me otherwise

I just did disco on the Underground Railroad
Got caught in a fever from the blues
I did a jig to shake my wig off
And realized it was glued to my head
Point your fingers, supply and command

Can I pick your brain
Off the record
I got the blues
But it's not cause I don't have green
Don't knock it till you tape it
You see
I couldn't exorcise a demon
But I entertained an angel
He warned me of the secret destroyers
But without a name, a face
How do we keep the facts straight
God can land in any body at any time
And so can his other half
The dark master in white
Lays a thin-veiled canopy
Turns day into a moonless night
Had a lethal conversation
With a top-hat man
In a public place
And I can't get his smug grin
Out of my mind
Nostalgia's just bitter
Intoxicated by the trees
And these god-fearing people
Make it feel like voodoo
Religious machinery
And sunburnt souls
I'm so lost
What is deep and what is death
What is bottom when it's cold liquid
Not rock
Amnesia
Cruel euthanasia
It came
It conquered
It had my eyes for a moment
Then it was gone
I just want to go to the place
Where there is no truth
Cause there is no judge
One-legged animals
That somehow get around

And you hate me
And always will
I know there're laughing
But it feels more like
A thousand daggers when
You know the gist
And not the details

Whatever happened to being yourself
Or your own worst enemy
I'm sorry if I get it wrong
These eyes are no longer my own
The world is no L word anymore
It's just not big enough

By everything, unhinged-
Money and dead leaves
Spider-webs and shattered glass
Light-bulbs and nooses
Hangers and trees
Scarecrows and Jesus
Atlantis America
Animal AI
Shoelaces and hangman-
It's all I see
In a sliver of the multitudes of me
While duality's making a killing
And the devil plays with more DNA
And I wonder how long endurance
Can outlive truth

Take control
Spin me up and away
But don't spin a web
Don't play with my head
Please don't conform
With your ears and your eyes
Use a little more brain, a little more spine
Then again, all my heroes
Have gone to milk cartons
Or simply have gone away
And while I speak my mind
The hypocrites scream diatribe
But words are all I have
And I'm just a crazy pariah
So what do they care
My world is coming to an end
And I'm not supposed to tell them
What nobody knows

The tome is heavy
The message is light
But I no longer have the luxury
Of distraction
I need purging
But they just want to get clean

There's too much I can't forget
And tons more I can't remember
And the whole world seems to know the latter-
Slashed and diced
Brain on a platter
If there's really room in the end
Maybe I shouldn't worry
But is there room for truth?
I don't want to solve the universe
I want to solve my forgone youth
And I rather hang with the crucified and poor
They don't have time for videotape and black magic-
All that's tragic
No guilt
No innocence
Just trying to survive the next ten minutes

Pregnant mind
Keeps rewinding
Going backwards in time to the
Opposite of life
So forgive me the delve, the dare
And maybe the wrong
These questions and methods replace
Bullets I don't own
And the chamber is always full

My Dearest Moth,
Is a baptism what I need
Or an official drowning?
I suppose both will suffice
In deep or shallow waters

But will your voice still resound
When my soul's asleep yet again?
Will its essence be able to resist rest?
Or can I count on you to keep me in dreams
Until the perfect moment comes for me to scream
"Wake me up"

Is death so sweet yet so morbid?
Are the fruits made of paper?
Is a giant bird carrying the weight of the world
With its eggs as our souls?

Do we fall and crack open
Destined for Hell
Or does the bird get tired
And drop the heavy burdens
Telling his boss we fell at our will

I'm trying so hard to decipher your codex
But the hardest part is figuring out
Whether or not you want it broken
Just keep singing me to sleep
(I prefer you over ghosts)

A thought came to me
While we were tugging at
Each other's wits
Why can't we just leave
Just get out
I've had my doubts
But won't stop
Till you prove them wrong
It's tough
This blood
It's rough
This blood
Solitary lonesome blues
A harmonica should echo
Our each and every step
Cause it's so so bitter
But so much more sweeter
Then they could ever imagine
They shatter
When they chatter
Oh, how they shatter
And Myra knew the pain
Of being upside-down
A gene that some genie's taken over
Repulsive attractive mess
I'll be me
Just stay you
And we could be ok
The sweet sting of the middle
Might be ok

This cigarette ain't smoking
This bottle's missing poison
I've hit the wall, jumped out a window
Didn't feel anything
Am I alive
Am I alive
But more importantly
Am I dead
These words are getting sour
This touch has lost its potency
I've been to Venus, been to Vegas
Didn't know anything
Am I alive
Am I alive
But more importantly
Am I dead
Is this life worth living
Is this life a crime
Accident, coincidence
Or just synchronicity
Am I alive
Am I alive
Well apparently
I am
I am not
I am not not dead
I am

The beasts of land came to be
One named A and one named B
They saw a palm tree
And waded through the waters
To reap the fruit of thee
But they almost drowned
Afraid of their own weakness
And to make their way back
They cut down a tree
Made a boat to stay afloat
And now their skin is turned
Basked in the heat of the burn
And she's got a lime in the coconut
Or so it says

Your opposite is evil
He has needs
He'll ***** you
Like only a brother can
Take your land, your woman
Your worth
He'll become your obsession
If you let him
While the flower-girl kneels
And prays for a man
It says you're not meant to drift
But your mind often does
Your brother is not your twin

Forget blood
Forget worries
The goldmine of
Yours and Mine
Has not been found yet
Keep searching for a
Sister…

The only friends I have
Are scumbags like me
But I didn't say I owned them
Haven't possessed much except a birth
So I'll smoke like a chimney
Till my lungs are black
And I'll drink like barfly
Till I'm the tar I'm steppin' in
Over-nourished, under-grown
We all yearn to stay high
But secretly we love the lows
Scratch my back
I'll stab you in yours
And a man said he liked my evil ways
Double-dared me to match him up
But I ain't proud of who I am
And now there're shards in his skull
Keep your eyes closed
Like you're staring at the sun
I'll continue to bathe in holy water with
Burned retinas

If I knew exactly what went down
Do you think I'd be here safe and sound
No, I'd be somewhere inhaling dirt
With a system that no longer worked
Cause old friends and strangers both
Have thrown chunks at my head
Some pieces are filler
Some say I'm better off dead
An all their eyes have dollar signs
Like they've just drunk the kool-aid wine
And what else can I do but say
Take what you want, don't delay
But if you want blood off your hands
You must fill me in on me
The ravens and the ravenous
Perhaps they're waiting in the mist
They'll make it look like Shakespeare
And thank me for playing
But when to be or not to be is cut off
By the information source
Well, how much more ****** up
Can it get
It's the last person you'd expect
But someone's got feathers
And rabbits in a cage
And a fetish for leather
And a man told me once, with a smile
He killed a girl in his basement
He buried her in a plot of land
And he went crazy
And this girl told me once, with her eyes
She killed a fellow friend
Stuck poison in the needle
Made it look like an accident
And if I knew exactly what went down
Do you think I'd be here gagged and bound
And what else can I do but say
Take what you want, don't delay
But if you want blood off your hands
You must fill me in on me