We've only had one class together,
just one session
ever since then
you have been teaching me a lesson

I failed the test
even asked permission,
for a retake

I doubt what I want to say to you
before I have a chance to speak

You have me schooled
I had you fooled

Unknowingly sealing my fate
after casting the bait
too late

My excuse for not winning
is that I forgot to vote
even though I wrote
my name out on
over three ballots

I'll keep the game up
letting you believe
my heart isn't kept on my sleeve


11.4.11

It's hard with you being away
I want to enjoy the day,
but I can't knowing this pain

I lay here,
just typing these words
like it will somehow delay
what is to come of us

I swear, I haven't strayed
and that's been hard to say
for others before you

Things with us
have been like fire and ice
and I've personally liked it that way

I've never felt so warm,
and so cold at the same time

Clashing over and over
we are broken souls, and yet

I've never felt such ecstasy,
my level of pleasure
has never been so high
not with anyone, ever

If there was such a time
in my life
to forgive someone,
the time is now

It escapes me,
the reasons to hate you
It escapes me,
the reasons to latch on
to what's been done
to what's been discovered
emptied, and won

It's dreadfully cold,
down here at the end of this well
I'm wishing that someone would come by,
and bring me back up to the surface,
but here it is,
the rain has begun
to come my way

As if, I needed anymore
gloom in my day,
the rain has really settled
it's way down
bringing a chill to my spine

I've already fallen down so far,
it's little bit lonely,
here below the ground

I can't even see the sky,
it's so dark,
as if there was a black sheet of smoldered smoke
rising up from the water at my feet
knocking out the light

I found my way here,
by mistake

I had intended for much more,
than this hate

It's erupted to the point
that I have to live in this
emptiness,
down beneath the land that I know
down so far,
where no angels would sleep

09.17.15 12:17 AM

My bubonic plague,
it's not contagious,
but it's a sickness

The darkness seeps in,
like the bad taste of a pepper
on your skin

It's awful,
and it burns within

The pain is so riveting
I can't help but stiffen,
my muscles are aching

It's such a deep sadness,
sometimes I can't feel it
It's as though I let myself be numb,
only for a little while
then at the most awkward times
I feel it all


10.03.15

Trying not to succumb
to sad thoughts,
when you've had your whole life
ripped apart is hard

It's like trying to recreate
a famous piece of pottery
that you've broken,
and the artist is dead

It simply can't be set back
just the same way,
there will be missing parts
and some that won't match
the other pieces,
like a puzzle

That seems to be how life is,
it appears as though we can
repair what's been broken,
but sometimes
it just can't be done

Sept. 16. 2015. 11:00 PM

I'm over here
standing on a side street
off in the dirt
looking guilty as sin,
trying like hell to get cell service
out in this miserable rain

I've had two nightmares come true this week,
and I've had enough of this hell

My mind is wrought with the truth of my life,
and it's awful that it's so real

The greatest thing I can see
from finding out these terrible things,
is now I don't have to hide my true self
from your pathetic eyes

I don't have to pretend
that I'm this committed person,
but that I have an unresolved desire
to be admired

That love is enough
if that's what it was,
I have doubts

If you only knew the real me,
you would probably cry
for all this time,
you've never been enough

It's all been a deep deep lie,
seeping its way out

And I cared,
but you're right
not enough to stick around,
and now you are the one
wishing that I would stay in your life

You can't have it all
You can choose only one,
sadly I've learned that the hard way

We could never be friends after that,
you've tainted your image

The illusion that you were this good guy is gone,
all that's left is the reality
that we are all the same,
some of us may bleed more,
and some clot right up,
but we all bleed someday

It's all nice,
when you two
have your legs intertwined
in the bed
on those cool nights
in the fall,
fire burning to a calm
as you both
begin to fall
too quickly for one another

The very next day,
there comes a stiff withdraw
when you gaze upon
each other
at the supermarket,
standing in the aisle
with your significant other

The look that creeps
on your face,
it is sickenly obvious
that you both
want to switch partners
and whisk away
to the airport
to fly off on holiday

The lie that you share
is screaming to be heard
by the public,
but you both can't bear
to be shamed,
by your family
for your infidelity

July 25. 2015 12:20 AM