Scared , bruised and battered from the people that matter

Holding onto your faith visualizing Gods strategical patterns

& afterwards, small events make us roll backwards

Danger in anger makes the minor things we have not even matter

Actions lead to a reaction , consequences & sentencing

Imagine a better life living the life of actresses in movie scenes

Allow your mind to ponder while you relax your feet in water

Let every moment simmer while skies grow dimmer , tempuratures rising while you begin to shiver

Ask yourself why am I  constantly in his picture

Never doubt the power behind your mind , your word, your scripture , your soul

Actually realize when you two fight?  guilt swallows him whole

Yearning for motherly love , love became his drug

Making him ill inside , all he needs is a hug

Care free living isn't wise , no emotion in eyes , when he cries
highly capable ,more than beautiful , soul better than soul food , he says those words are you

Tip toeing in the direction of you , but before he makes his mark he thanks our father for you

Thank You for the beauty within her soul he says , & Thank You for eye sight & the roof over my head

I thank you father but i ask you for one more thing ?
Don't let me lose the woman that sings the rhythm I bring

Ready to end his prayer he kisses the bible & says amen

Everything written now glistens, since spoken into existense ,allow your mind to listen & find the piece of the puzzle missing

And that night I was a mechanical doll
and I turned right and left, to all sides
and I fell on my face and broke to bits,
and they tried to put me together with skillful hands
And then I went back to being a correct doll
and all my manners were studied and compliant.
But by then I was a different kind of doll
like a wounded twig hanging by a tendril.
And then I went to dance at a ball,
but they left me in the company of cats and dogs
even though all my steps were measured and patterned.
And I had golden hair and I had blue eyes
and I had a dress the color of the flowers in the garden
and I had a straw hat decorated with a cherry.



Translated from the original Hebrew by Karen Alkalay-Gut.

I'm a nice person to talk to. I respect everyone and everything. May don't like being in a room with three or more people, makes me feel trapped. Got no enemies, just friends, or I don't know if you can even call them friends, their people I know but don't talk to.

I will try tell you people a bit about me and area. I live in Canada, Saskatchewan. In a reserve called James Smith, this is home in this village. Not much to do here. I got both my parents, but my dad wants to run away from us, he's stuck in a old folks home for the old and disabled, my dad aint that old. He needs one of his daughters with him, I'm the only one that's still young and free, the other two sisters of mine they're struggling for a home for their little families. I  love my dad for who he is, don't get to see him much though. My mum, i ran away from her once or more. I'm mum's babygirl, I dont think I will leave her again cause it hurted the both of us. Theres just something different between my mum and I. She knows I love her though, she's just as bored as I am.

My two sisters, they both live in this village, Genevieve is having a rough time with her boyfriend, at least she won't ever leave her two kids, Dante and Danica. Not much to say about Gen, she is the oldest, she's a good sister. She bites sometimes, nibbles on my nerves. Ha!

Cassandra, my sister she has two sons, Jathan and Nickolas, she's going to school. She's trying to move away from our village and get a life, I might seem funny saying it that way" get a life" but foreal people here don't do anything cause most of them quit school and got no carreer, just cheap jobs that's something though.

My little brother Joey, I try look out for him, only bro I got. There's two ways to say Moostoos, there's Moostoos and mostos. Moostoos is my dad's last name, and mostos stands for cow in Cree. I'm 100% Cree, full blooded First Nations Cree Indian. Being native is like we can live on welfare and get a lot free. I'm only living on welfare cause I'm stuck till I graduate so if I want to get out of here I got to finish school, nother two and a half years till then.

My past bothers me a whole lot, but I am managing it, people thought I lost my mind when I went suicidal a few times. I will be ok. I tell everybody to be ok. My family knows I'm shy, I'm not afraid, I'm just not use to being around loud people. I love to laugh and smile a lot, it hides my sadness, depression and all that. I nearly forgot what its like to laugh hard, I got no one to laugh with and be weird, just my sister Gen, but I rarely see her.

My goal is to be around people more often, made that up as I am thinking of random stuff I like about this place. Pp.s I really really have a big heart for animals. I try my hardest to sound like I care about other people, I must seem very nice.

Got to love art, books, and poetry. Only if I was as good as you's at poetry and stuff. So have yourself a good day or night. Take Care out their. Ta ta!

I Am Going To Miss You, Dear Friend
I Hope You Return Soon Though
Hugs Of Warmth Exchanged
Smiles Flickering On The Lilac-Scented Breeze
The Wind Whispering In My Ears
Sun Rays Slanting Across The Path
Where Two Friends Walk
I Shall Not Say Goodbye
For I Shall Hope That You'll Return
I Shall Miss You, Dear Friend Of Mine
Harps Ring Out The Symphony
Until Then I Will Miss You
I'll Sit In The Meadow Of Waltzing Flowers
Where The Sunshine Fills The Air
And The Birds Sing An Anthem
Or Some Sweet Hymn
I'll Wait For You
Where Us Fairies
Dance Inside The Fairy Ring
At Night Underneath The Full Moon
Until Then, My Friend
I Shall Miss You!

*~Marian~

I just stare down at white lines on blank pages and whisper the only words I have ever know: I love you.

We fell asleep under the blurry night sky with old light above us and new light down the road.

We made love under palm trees listening to each other breaths in sync with the soft breeze of the ocean near by.

With skin touching and bodies uniting we became one and as if cliches weren't enough I fell in love.

With your rough hands caressing mine. With those blue skies you call eyes. With lips so red like sweet cherries on my tongue.

We entered the summer with such romance; such passion for being so young and naive. You took me for the fool I was and left me in the winter for a far more interesting adventure.

And as I sit staring at this blank piece of paper I wanted to fill with words of anger I will write the only thing I have ever know to be true: I love you.