It feels like I'm drowning,
slowly going deeper,
I can't swim,
but i can slowly disappear,
as i hit the surface,
I think of your warm embrace,
but what is warm
when your being drowned in your own tears?

I can feel it happening,
The pain again,
It builds up,
To be let down,
It's as if it could never work,
But my words blur the message,
I can never be clear.

I want to tell you,
That you are beautiful,
I want to just pick you up,
and kiss you,
I want to feel,
The beat of your heart,
But I hold myself back,
Because you would never love me.

I wanted to feel you,
Let you know all I'm feeling is true,
I wanted to see your perspective,
So I could finally see the light from your eyes

So I'll wait for you,
Stand behind all your decisions,
I will respect how you feel,
And love you from afar

There is a fire burning,
And I can't move my eyes,
Even when there are no embers,
It burns in me,
So I embrace it,
As the flame cleanses my sin,
And burbs away my love,
So be ready for the ash,
As its your turn now to pick up the pieces.

Starting again,
It feels good,
There's something beautiful and exciting,
And if things go wrong I could always,
Start again.

Everything's the same,
There is no variation anymore,
Sleep,
Work,
Eat,
It's as if there is no substance,
That I have become what I hate,
Boring,
Alone,
Is there any point sometimes,
And when there is something,
Some form of petty connection,
I end up hurting them,
I get myself stuck in these awkward situations,
I just,
I just can't cope anymore,
Then I go into my own loop,
Of things I shouldn't do,
And an overwhelming arrogance,
Why do I bother?
Why am I here?

Should I do it again,
Just for the thrill,
That buzz I got last time,
When everything felt so real,
And I felt so alive,
Maybe one last time.

I searched for myself,
Inside a bottle,
What came out,
Was something I couldn't face.

I drink to lose myself,
To find a way out from this pain,
But the pain keeps coming back,
And my souls not the same.

So pour me a double,
And watch me sink,
Because life isn't fun,
So hand me a drink.

Your lie has transformed you,
You made a catfish of yourself,
Giving someone support and comfort,
when you were crumbling,
Now they've come to see the real you,
And has come to think that they are the problem,
When you now,
Was just the same you before,
The lie you span has come back around,
And now you're caught up in you're own web.

From across the room,
I saw you and only you,
As if I could feel your heart beating,
But I realise it was mine,
Breathless there was no words to describe you,
As if only you and me were there,
Nothing else mattered,
The glint in your eye when you looked at me I knew,
This may be the one.

You abuse me because I joke,
Then you think I find pleasure,
In your pain,
And that no one is on your side,
As if anyone was ever on mine,
I was gonna tell you something,
Important to you and not to me,
She truly loves you dude,
And these words are now turning to ash,
In my mouth,
You think I'm like him,
Someone who never gave a **** to apologise,
But the second I try,
You tell me to go away,
Then little by little you tear everything away from me,
And then you think that is fair,
About one joke and two sentences,
I think you're the one who needs to open their eyes.

I think I'm falling for you,
And now I think you know,
But I don't think we know,
What that truly means for us,
I feel that now I can love again,
But I can't see myself with anyone but you,
This isn't  going to end well,
That I know for sure,
But thats what happens,
When friendships on the line.

I can't find it,
I can't feel it,
When your down,
I fell your pain,
You are what I bleed,
I was too busy looking for you,
In someone else,
When you where there all along.

I Can't tell anymore,
If I am awake,
Or if I'm stuck in a dream,
I've got friends,
But I'm alone,
I'm enjoying myself,
But I'm sad,
When I get into things,
I'm go all in,
But some times,
It was never worth the risk,
I hate you,
I love you,
I'd be nothing without you,
But would I be,
If there are plenty of fish in the sea,
how significant is you and me,
There are different places we could be,
But girl you can't keep lying  to yourself,
Can't you see the effect it has on your health,
Waiting and see isn't an option for me,
I wish you could see,
But I've realized you are blind,
Just like me.

Forgive me lord,
For I have sinned,
Her touch I couldn't resist,
Her voice screaming out my name,
Echoing through my skull,
The warm embrace of her body on mine,
Touching,
Feeling,
As if nothing could stop the bond,
The tension,
And the passion that was between us,
So do I follow want my heart longs for,
Or what my soul needs.

You said you wanted to know me,
But can you handle the scars that lie underneath,
I don't like to say how I feel,
As it makes me vulnerable,
So I close myself up,
Like a safe,
With my feelings hidden from the world.

I feel trapped in this state,
Of complete obsession and infatuation,
As when I feel it is overwhelming,
I feel like shutting it all down.

I needed space,
So I could find myself,
Support myself for once,
Instead of holding other people,
One could say im selfish,
But I need to fix myself,
Before I can help anyone else.

Everyone is made of glass,
Some are durable than others,
But we are all fragile.

On the outside,
I look like every over wall,
Strong and stable,
But really I'm broken,
I let people in,
So that they can confide in me,
Building their walls with my one bricks,
Piece by piece seeing myself fade,
I can't even recognise myself anymore.

Something has changed,
We don't talk like we used to,
Hell do we even talk anymore,
It's like I'm the one who's done something wrong,
I was used,
So you could move on,
Someone low enough,
So you can feel good,
Well I cared,
Now I'm here,
Left to pick up the pieces.

I'm conflicted,
I want it to be a reality,
I want to see how it turns out,
As this could be something good,
But I wouldn't know what we would do,
If we lost each other,
so tell me what to do.

I don't know what's going on,
Every step seems harder,
As if there is more weight,
Do you expect me to be okay,
When you can see the pain,
As if it was written across my face.

I feel rage,
Like an internal fire,
Burning inside of me,
I believe in fate,
But why have you,
Put so many obstacles in my path,
Have you condemned me to eternal lust,
Wanting things I will never get,
What are you trying to tell me,
Why can't you tell me,
Why can't you help,
Is like one day the switch is on,
Then the next is closed,
I'm fed up with it.

Isn't it funny,
How life goes,
In the blink of an eye,
Is it really worth trying so hard,
And not enjoying life for what it is,
I envy the animals they are so free,
They can live,
They don't have the struggles of finding a job,
They don't have to go through an education system thats clearly flawed,
They don't have the problems that we have put on ourselves,
I wish to be free.

A lot can happen in a year,
As this time goes on,
You slowly start to change,
As every encounter,
Gives you a new perspective,
On how you perceive,
The world around you.

Drifting through,
Taken away by the stream,
Not knowing how far I've gone,
Or how to go back,
Vulnerable,
Lost,
Alone,
No path to go down,
Nowhere to go,
Slowly sinking,
Only when I've hit will I know,
how far I've drowned.

I can't walk out the door,
It just feels too good to stay,
One more hit,
One more drink,
One more drag.

But if I step away again,
what'll that achieve,
It won't make me happy,
So I go round in circles,
no better than a dog.

So watch me fall,
And see if I can get up again.

Am I always going to be like this,
Constantly longing,
For your touch,
Your Love,
When i'm around you,
I feel real,
Alive,
Soam I a fool to be in love with you?

Whe spend our lives limited,
Living over the same routine,
Day in day out,
And for what gain?

So today I'm stepping out of that box.

Trying to rectify other people mistakes,
When I have my own,
Trying to help people's love life,
When my own is non existent,
Trying to save people's lives,
When your own is on the edge,
I don't know when this will end.

I find myself alone,
Staring at the sky,
Watching the moon rise,
When it's dark I feel safe,
Comforted by the cold,
I like the silence,
But sometimes it's deafening,
When all you can hear,
Is the voice in your head.

I can feel you,
But I can't touch you,
It's as if you are on another level,
Whilst i'm stuck on square one,
Wondering what could happen,
What will happen,
We can't be open because that's who we are,
We care to much,
Does the risk outweigh the loss,
Because I'm going all in,
And all your doing is folding.

To you I say hello,
A new window,
To what was a closed door,
It's funny how the world works,
Things seem to point you into new directions,
As if it was a part of some grand plan.

Where is my mind,
I'm not dreaming,
But I'm not living,
Always taking one step forward,
Then two steps back,
I'm becoming lost in my own thoughts,
As my emotions are taking over,
I've never felt before,
As my Heart was always cold,
Know I feel the warmth,
I have lost myself.

The same look in your eyes,
As if you see him in me,
I don't if it's you just missing him,
Or that there's something their,
Hidden beneath them brown eyes,
And the cracks in my heart.

Nothing is the same,
The game has changed,
I don't know what i want to do,
Check or fold,
As it may just be a bluff,
And i don't feel like I like these odds,
If y heart is going to be on the line.

What if I told you,
It was a drug,
Would you look at me differently,
Would you be disappointed,
Would you still care,
About someone who just falls back on his vices,
Getting high to numb the pain,
Would you?

I wanted it to be a reality,
But I was kidding myself,
It could never happen,
It will never change,
I am alone,
Once more,
Its not the idea,
It's the risk,
Whats more important,
Me being there,
Or not at all,
I guess it's out of my hands,
So i'll put myself back in the box,
And throw away the key.

How can I feel,
When I'm already broken,
How can I breath,
When there is no air,
How do I drink,
When there is no water,
How do I live,
Without you?

I don't know where I'm at with you,
I don't know where I want to be with you,
I can tell how you feel around me,
What you think,
With you i'm lost

Time goes fast,
We all see life,
In how much we have left,
However I'm looking forward,
Making a step at a time,
Living my life going forwards,
As if time was no object,
Live life in the moment,
Otherwise you won't spend your life living.

I can't keep away,
I'm hooked,
Why can't I forget,
I don't want to say no,
But I can't let it go.

Have you ever noticed me,
The face behind the mask,
The side no one gets to see,
Are my feelings real,
Do I feel anything anymore,
Can you even see me,
My life is floating,
Whilst i'm falling.

We have seen kingdoms rise,
Empires fall,
Ideologies grow,
Fear spread,
But with all this knowledge,
Comes so much failure,
As we keep on repeating the same mistakes.

Cold eyes pierce like knives,
Never to be sheathed again,
Blood let and wounds gape,
No stitches to pull.

Foundations begin to crumble,
Towers rise and fall,
Rubble is all that remains,
Leaving the helpless in pain.

The damage is done,
The empire falls,
It’s time to start anew,
Is there any chance,
that we can make it through.