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There is charcoal on my arms,
Yet they used to be wood,
You'd think the moisture from my eyes,
Would make the bark feel good.

But I keep playing with the flames,
Running my fingers through the light,
Yet I always end up wondering,
Why burn marks get on my heart.

I've seen a few different flames,
Ones of various strength and colour,
But yours seemed so warm,
Like a campfire in the dark.

But I find myself again, with charcoal hands,
For my branches dry out quick,
And it's just too easy,
for you to come and burn down all of this.

I always think it'll change,
Like I'll be the final flower,
To bloom amongst the flames,
But the smoke just ends up suffocating me again.

My sunflower friends ask me if you didn't realise,
They thought maybe he plays too rough,
But I'm tired of being not enough,
Your obliviousness isn't my flaw.

Suppose that's what hurts in the end,
To know I'm not the flawed one,
But your strings of fake security,
Are what leaves permanent scarring on my face.
Louisa Coller Mar 13
Fiction helps keep a lot of us sane,
Making up stories almost day-to-day.
Though fiction seems rational,
reality is off the rails,
Absolute madness everyday.

Picture frames in a home are lucky,
When this is all temporary for us.
We are comfortable and happy,
But they'll take - It's a 'must'.

Overanalyze my medical history,
As you let me down for years.
I've screamed for help forever,
You just silenced the child beneath this.

I fall in love with victim's of war,
Becoming comfortable is temporary.
As others experience hellscapes the same,
You show little care for anybody.

Sick to the core, coughing my lungs,
I want to sing and be free but it isn't enough.
One day I'll succumb and what do I get?
Nothing. But I deserved,
Better than this.
Louisa Coller Jan 10
Push me aside,
I'm an obstacle, right?
You need that goal so tempting, so rich,
So you push me aside.

A red flame, a blazing blitz,
A rich burn consuming my skin,
Your droplets of hopeful flames,
Dance my skin to remains.

How many times can the wicker man burn,
Before the glow within my lava flow,
Rips to bits pouring through.

A love with a mother of the unknown,
Treasured flowers and vanity growth,
All left as I'm pushed aside, placing duty above pride.

Thought I was a phoenix but maybe I'm dumb,
Each burn and cut left me further undone,
Screeches of serenity, mental abuse,
It wasn't just you.

How many times must I burn,
Before my flesh turns to bones.
It's very clear I'll take no more,
It's about time my hand shows.
Louisa Coller Dec 2023
You were drawing pictures with me,
I was sipping beer and see,
You downing another shot of whiskey.

I said I liked your rugged style,
I think saying that made you smile,
Because I compared it to an album in the 90s.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about life and death,
I confront the words you said,
You blame liquor and talk,
but I didn't believe you.

I said I know crave your touch,
But you mean something a lot,
Something I envy.

I asked "What's got you down?"
Wondering why you're hurting now,
You simply tell me then,
You fear you'll never reach the end.

I said it's the journey not the goal,
I've met my goals before,
I know I crave the journey more,
My heart pounding in my chest.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about being replaced,
I feared you leaving everyday but,
You began to say,
"Everyone literally could replace me."

I've never met anyone like you,
Your charming demeanor came through,
You mean everything to me,
It's a promise that I keep.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition...

That I love you.

I clearly love you.

I thought I would,
Fall,
For the idea of us.

But as I get to know you,
I know it's clear as day,
This sense of sweet ambition is here to stay.
Louisa Coller Dec 2023
Your life is the dreams mine tried to calculate,
Envy fills me up but never hate.

Inspired by your ways of speaking,
Infatuation made me fall through.

You try not to let me in,
But I want to see you again and again.

You see my eyes and your gaze weakens me,
With this constant desire to have you near me.

So many have left me breathless,
But gazing at you, I've become speechless.

Words keep failing but my mind keeps falling,
For this interesting love I cannot replace.

It has to be you, my body craves,
The scent of your hair and warmth of your face.

It has to be you, my heart aches,
Your creative wave drowns my sorrows away.

There are so many more people better than us,
But why would I care when I have us?

You're perfect standing there,
My heart becomes brave.
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
You said this love was temporary,
Until you found a new one.

Why should I be left,
Because I'm not traditional.

Your cheeky ways blow my mind,
I'm thinking of you all the time.

My heart pounds loud,
Especially without you.

But I can't live,
Without saying I love you.

Maybe you'd hoped for a different time,
But I had to do this for us to find...

The beauty that is known as us,
For every memory I'm grateful of.

A part of me hopes you never fall in love again,
Just so I can keep you in my arms forever.
Louisa Coller Nov 2023
The world I live in,
Loves to take and not give.

They'll take my time and half it,
Being paid for less than this.

Take my love and critique it,
While they pay to let it slip.

Working five jobs between us,
While they make ten times the amount.

I don't even hold envy,
I just want to keep my love here.

Yet here I am, fighting every stage,
Of a country who doesn't love us.
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