She’s not the sort that bares her soul

With tales of pain
With tales of woe

She contains the pain
She keeps it tight
It haunts her
Each and every night

She walks the walk
She talks the talk

She sometimes even has those thoughts

But …

What about me?

I’m
Trapped inside a prism
That floats inside her brain
Cuckolded as a passenger

Why can't I drive this train?

Is it fear that holds me back?
Will fear dictate
She stays on track

I think

And think …

And think …

  And think …

I sit here in the darkness
Watching through her eyes
Yearning for the moment
To be released from this disguise

You think that you all know her
Enchanted by her scent
Anyone would think
From the heavens she was sent

But ..

What about me?

No-one hears my voice
Because I’m weak and timid
I therefore
Have No Choice

Can’t you hear me screaming?
Boxed inside this cage
Suppression’s a necessity
When you can’t release the rage

I know she is my keeper
I know she keeps us safe from harm
I know she saved us being
Deported
to
The Funny Farm

But…

That was so very long ago
I now need
To smell the air
I need to taste the tulips
I need the wind to blow my hair
I need to drink fresh coffee
Eat doughnuts on the Pier
Indulge in Marmite sandwiches
Eradicate this fear

Please …

There, there little sweetie
Come rest your sleepy head
You’ve gotten overtired
I’ll tuck you up in bed

Your time will come, my sweet
But really not quite now
For you
would need to comprehend
The who, why, what & how

We made a pact
Remember …
In the summer of ‘79
That I will now protect you
From that wicked evil swine

There, there little sweetie
Let me wipe away those tears
I want to see you happy

I can internalize your fears

Little sweetie
Let me see the joy upon your face
Can you feel the love
I give
In this oh so warm embrace

Don’t worry little sweetie
I understand your pain
That is why
It is me
That will always drive this train

I will never ever desert you
I will always keep you safe from harm
This is why
It is
YOU
That always keeps her charms

You’re right
I’m kind of sleepy
You’re right
I need to rest my head
You’re right
I’m over tired

Please tuck me up in bed …

There doesn't seem to be a focal point,
There's no finish line to this race,
Only chaotic centrifuge,
Putting everything in it's place.

No instructions have been written,
But an empty journal's on the shelf,
Does anyone know my purpose,
I just can't find it by myself.

Not one part fits with another,
The only similarity seems to be me.
And I can't blend it all together,
And it's a struggle just to be.

Maybe there is no right place,
Or instance where I belong.
I thought that time would clarify,
But I was so very wrong.

One hand is on the door,
The other holds too tight,
My head lies with another,
And hope goes on tonight.

Day breaks again to remind me,
This cycle may not break,
And I don't know whether to give
Or whether I should just take.

There is no difference really,
It all just feels the same,
Who am I kidding anyway?
My life's become a game.