geminicat

geminicat May 2017

I never stop being in love which is odd for someone who has only loved three times in their life.
I never stop being in love with people. Even when time goes on, and people leave, and their things are no longer at my bedside, I never quite stop loving.
I guess you could say it's my fault since I don't believe in it anyway, but how can you?
I loved every butterfly kiss my first love gave me, and every pen-stroke the second gave. I love every subtly touch my current love gives now and some how I can't seem to let go of any of it.
I will never stop loving every note passed between us during passing period, and those extensive phone calls which ended at 4:36 am because the distance between us was far too great for the Wi-Fi signal to carry.
I will never stop being loving the curly hair and green eyes.
I can't. It is simply impossible. And maybe that's my problem. Maybe I carry a little piece of them with me, and that's why I can never get anyone to stay long enough for the love between us to flourished like it has before.

D.G.
S.M.
C.L.

geminicat Mar 2017

At First Sight

The moment I saw you,
I knew how beautifully bad
we’d be for each other.

I had to be yours.

I think you give me more stomach pain than butterflies;
more heartache than skipping beats.
I think we are bad habits
neither one of us
want to break.

Mar 2017

Willow-Anne

Alcoholism

She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot

She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before

She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play

She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain

She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should

She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill

But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave

Edit: (3/10/17) Oh my goodness! I haven't logged on in a couple of days and boy did I miss a lot!
I am doing my best to respond to all your messages and comments now! Sorry for the wait!
Thank you all so much for such an overwhelming amount of love and support <3 You guys are amazing
For those of you who struggle with addiction of any kind, hang in there, and I hope you all find the help and support you need <3
Best wishes to you all. And thank you again <3

Edit: (3/11/17)
Alrighty, so I just got a very long message that without going too into details accused me of poking fun at alcoholism with this poem. I would just like to be very clear that this poem was in no way inteaded to make fun of the illness that is alcoholism, and if it came off that way to anyone else, I am truely truely sorry. Words can not express that enough for I very much wished the opposite intent. Alcoholism (and addiction in general) is a very serious illness that I take very seriously. I sinceraly hope that anyone who is struggling with it gets the help they need and those of you who are in recovery, I am proud of you. Stay strong and continue to work towards it <3
Once again, my sincere apologies again to anyone who was offended.
Love to you all <3 - Willow-Anne

geminicat Dec 2016

Am I a terrible person?

I put all my self worth in other people, my grades, my job, even my words.

And if one slips up, just by the slightest bit, my entire self begins to crumble

and I begin to wonder am I a still a good person even when no one is around to tell me so?

geminicat Nov 2016

Kicking Bad Habits

When I was a little girl I picked at my scabs.
I was obsessed with watching the wounds close after each time I'd pick at it scab. It was watching time do it's thing: heal.
I never quite understood how it even worked or what my skin was even doing.
Now I know that scabs are just clusters of skin cells and dry blood that patch up the wound, and soon it'll be nothing but a small mark on my knee cap.

That's exactly what I did after you left.
I kept picking at the pieces of me that you left, untouched
and I ripped them apart and picked at parts of me to try and find answers
I kept coming back to see if maybe this time things would change or if those parts of me would get smaller of heal faster
but they never did.

My dad would watch me on the front steps of his house pick at my scabs and say
I was better off if I'd kick the habit.
Maybe I finally will.

This one is for moving on.

geminicat Nov 2016

Little Bits

And I will fall for you all over again
Like a child learning to walk.
I will kiss my scraped palms
And dust off my bruised knees
And I’ll love you harder than I did before
Because we are not the same people
We were five days ago.
And I will always adapt to who you are today
And love you the right way.
— Everything changes but I’ll always love you.

not yet

geminicat Nov 2016

The day's first thought

Your name shouldn’t be the first thing I want to say when I wake up.
I always roll over to say good morning, but it falls from my thoughts when I see an empty bed.
But every morning I wake up with a smile and your name on my mind.
I shouldn’t want to see your name on my phone throughout the day.
I look at the screen countless times hoping it will light up, it never does.
That doesn’t stop me from holding my phone too tight.
Your favourite movie shouldn’t be what I fall asleep to ever night. The one you played when you were too excited to sleep; the one that makes me miss you more.
Still, I press play every time I collapse into bed.
You shouldn’t be on my mind at all, yet you’re the only thing I ever think of.

SM