Christmas, its that time again...

No words can explain the feelings I embrace
And no words can describe the pain I face

Why do we struggle holding onto memories of yesterday
as the ghost of Christmas past visits again uninvited
Why do we fight visiting demons that were thought to be blighted

Staying with me like relatives with no end date
Haunting me like a banshee with no one to moderate
How can I sleep with these echos in my head
how can I sleep with these monsters in my bed

Christmas

Life is an eternal struggle of days filled with black or white
Grey is hardly seen when the ride takes flight.

What a journey this ride is on, filled with the front seats to right or wrong,
With hecklers that are too eager to blame,
To shame without doubt, conscience and name
Faceless nomads with pointed fingers, who start the flame.

A flame, from which this journey began, extinguished with jealousy and madness
Another reason the human race to bathe in their sadness.

Life should be a flame but lived, loved and cherished
As this flame can go out at any time
Out without saying goodbye to the ones most missed

My flame is burning crazily and maybe out of control
So quickly burning and twice as bright
Live each day as it could be your last, one day, one night
As Love maybe for poets or so they say
But for now at least, I live for the day.

Life is pain, twisting and turning, forever forcing that consistent yearning,
yearning for peace, or that word called love.

Maybe love is pain with regret and solace
a golden cup or should I say chalice.
to drink from this poisoned false promise, will surely cause fear and flight of fancy.
journey to a place, unexpected and dark
black as my moods from false promises and lies
for the heart has cut those inseparable ties.

life is pain, make no mistake, for living is that fatal mistake.

What is love if you cannot feel,
What is love if it is not real,
We always hurt the ones closest and dearest
With decisions and mistakes that you think are for the best

Life goes on regardless of feeling or regret,
and for people we have met, judgement is made
judgement, a word, an emotion that we all use too frequently.
who are we to judge another ones actions when we too are guilty
guilty of making that fatal mistake, what a journey this life is.
A journey full of lost time and love, but time heals or so they say
making its journey bearable day by day.

Its sad that Love, as a word, is said too much without feeling or touch
As love is an emotion and not a word, that needs feeling and a warm embrace,
Not a smile through gritted teeth, and a fake happy face
Love is deeper than this, love is something that will always be with you
regardless of good times or bad, or when you are happy or sad.

No more sad faces or unhappy places,
as Life is too short to live with regret and malice
just look behind you and you will see,
the difference that this statement makes to you and me,
Live every day as its last, not forever in the past.
The past is gone, but not forgotten or lost
Live for today and live it well for that last
one day will come as sure as the night

Life is a journey that slowly ends,
but not allowing you to make amends.
How can I right the wrongs I have done,
With all the lies that I have spun.

Nobody teaches you right from wrong,
not in this life's tragic song.
where will I be in 10 years time?
what about this old heart of mine?
Love is for poets, or so they say,
not for my heart to wilfully stray.

for my heart is broken and scarred today,
there is no hope for tomorrow, so into the fray.
As Life is a journey, or so they say,
Nobody will love me or even pray.

So how do you travel on this exhaustive trip?
How do you travel without a stumble or slip?
Hope is a friend that regularly visits,
Hope is a friend that stands and spits!

But without this friend, how do you travel,
on this road of downtrodden gravel,
But hope is a friend, a true friend of mine
Hope is the one thing that's with me through time.

One day this journey will abruptly stop,
with hope behind me when I hear that knock.
The knock I hear so loud and clear
From deaths door alas I truly fear.

Life is a journey so full of promise
sadly its mostly full of solace.
what will be said when I am gone?
good riddens to *******, I hear from some.
I have tried to travel with love and compassion
but others may say I am just like fashion
as fashion changes and never stands still,
I am true to this hardened will.

Here lays Neil, may he rest in peace,
as his journey now has begun to cease.

Maybe, a chance to escape this world , if only for a while,
Maybe, a chance to speak with ones further than the longest mile.

No more sadness and tears, it’s my dream after all
Or maybe I am going to have another big fall.
I need to escape from reality, not to create another painful life,
But to sleep, to dream, arrh to lose that strife.

Will I dream in colour or black and white?
And what terrors may visit me tonight?
Perhaps some calm before the storm maybe?
Perhaps some good times for once, surely?

Another morning approaches in all its glory,
Wait, no, that’s not the end of the story,
Morning has come and my eyes are open.

The sun is black and everything is broken,
How can this be, what trickery is this?
Wait, hold on I know ignorance is bliss,
I am fooled another time, the darkness is here again,
There is no night and day…… Just the pain.

Life is hardly black or white,
today it feels like the darkness of night,
for I am sitting here, in sadness and sorrow,
wishing there was a happy tomorrow.

wishing there was a clock to turn back,
to undo the pain that I have caused.
no clock could ever be this kind, as to be that best friend of mine,
when you try your best and its just not enough,
when you try your best and life just gets more tough.

Maegan,James I miss you so, please believe my painful woe.
Life is a journey that turns and bends,
but never lets you make amends.
sorry can be said but rarely herd, and often too late to to be observed.
Please know that dad is here, whenever you need a laughter and cheer.
I love you both till the end of time, please please please think of me in time.

I am not the person you now believe, I am the person who loves and grieves.
please know this heart loves you, I swear this day it is wholly true.

Dad