Liz - Hello Poetry

Liz Jan 2014

Him

I can't breathe
Every gasp of air reminds me of the ones he stole from me
I wish music could make me smile like before
But every song is about him.
I want to play guitar
But I hear his voice in every chord.
I tried to draw
But the only thing these hands could create
Were the words "I need you".
I tried to sing
But my voice shook with the fear of losing a love.
I can't even go outside
Because it reminds me of how I left you.
And I really tried not to hurt myself
But I needed to carve your name into my skin.
And I can't seem to stop the tears.
I think it's my body trying to drown itself
Because it knows it's had enough
It knows I've had enough
I don't deserve to be with you
And the only sounds my voice can muster are
I'm sorry

Liz Jan 2014

Runner

I fell too hard
Too fast.
Now I'm left with this haunting emptiness.
You filled every crack in my bones
And every dark corner of my being
Until I was finally whole.
For the first time in my life.
And that has terrified me to no end.
I won't let myself be fooled by your
Unforgiving love.
So I'll throw it away
Before you can take it back.
It seems illogical
But to hurt myself won't be nearly as bad
As you hurting me.
Maybe I just need distance
Maybe I just need time.
Because I've never had a love like this
So true and terrifying.
My head doesn't know what to think.
The only thing I can do is
Run.

Liz Jan 2014

You'd change everything

Maybe i'd like country music,
If you sang it to me.
I'd probably like fish,
If you cooked it for me.
And i would probably pay more attention in math,
If you taught it to me.
I think id wear pink,
If you said it looked good on me.
Maybe i'd run more often,
If i was chasing you.
I'd read more books,
If they were all written by you.
I would like to speak,
But only if i was speaking to you.
And i'd probably be a morning person,
If every morning i woke up next to you.

This is hella cheesy but I thought it was cute

Liz Jan 2014

2 am thoughts

I clenched my eyes,
Afraid to look at you.
Because all I wanted
Was to give you this body
Not what lived within it.
But you stole it,
Like every kiss leading up to,
That moment.
Maybe that's why I cried
Because I came to the sudden realization,
That from that moment on,
Your name was carved
Into every bone in my body.
And the thought if being without you,
Tore through my mind
Like a wave of infinite destruction.
And it pained me to know that nothing lasts forever.
Because in that moment,
All wanted was forever,
With you.

Liz Jan 2014

The Crazy

Please don't tell me its all in my mind,
That would mean i'm going crazy.
But what if everything that was in my mind,
Was written on me like a tattoo.
But what if it was so easy to tell,
The crazy from the average girl.
And what if i wore a badge,
Or maybe i do.
I wear these scars,
As a battle with my mind that i seem to have won.
But because the scars have not multiplied,
Does not mean that the battle has subsided.
The shots are still heard,
The blood is still spilled,
The screams are still shouted,
And the loss of feeling is still just as great.
At least in my mind.
In the mind of the one's who are crazy,
But do not wear the badge of guilt.
The scars i have acquired,
That are all too familiar.
Do not haunt the silent sufferers.
But scream my insanity to each passing opportunity,
That i am too afraid to take.

Liz Jan 2014

Addict

You laid me down gently,
Just as gentle as i wanted.
You reassured me of my uncertainty.
You made sure i was okay.

There was that cold tightness in my chest,
That sank right through me until
I could feel it in my spine.
As this feeling has once left me scared and shaken,
I made my decision.

Than you made your first move,
And all the colors i have ever seen lit up my mind.
And a fire lit in my stomach and the flames moved up my spine.
Until you reached my neck and arranged a small kiss.
Your lips extinguished my fire and left my bones bare.

Hold on for dear life,
I felt something adjust inside me.
And that was not as suggestion for the actions at hand.
But something happened in my soul
That left me forever thirsting for your touch.
Not in the desirous way i had before,
But as though the atoms of my heart,
And every particle that made up the pathetically helpless being i call myself,
Needed you.
They would not be the same without you,
i am stuck on you.
Addicted to you.
And every moment without you feels like sudden death,
A draw of my logical mind and these particles of my being.
Its absolutely absurd how reliant i am on you.

Well i have no other way to put it,
But in the least poetic and mysterious way possible,
I guess that's what happens when you take a lonely girl's virginity.
They become addicted.

Liz Nov 2013

The Monsters

There's only one way
To let the pain out.
Only one way,
Because i cannot shout.
I'll rip myself open,
To let the demons be free.
They will run down my leg,
Trickling so gently.

Now the monsters are free,
But just for one night.
They'll be back again tomorrow,
Screaming with all their might.
That's why i bite my lips,
Not to ****** your eyes,
But these devils, so desperately
Are dreaming of my demise.

Now you say it doesn't make sense,
To let them free at night.
But iv'e grown so accustomed,
To giving in to their desires.
That i cannot stop,
I cannot see,
How you think this is really hurting me.
The merely superficial passageways,
That my demons travel,
Will fade over night,
Just like i will not matter.