B A N G
You hear the slam of the front door and flinch because
The worst and best woman in the world
Is home.
6:04
The question is,
Four minutes late which person will she be tonight?

Fast forward
10:04
And her blurred english runs with the fourth glass
Of jack daniels that night.
You try to stay out of it,
But soon,
M and her are screaming.
Unseen,
You escape carfully,
Quietly
Fearfully
To your room,
Its always best to wait out a storm.
S L A P*
And you can hear fist connecting with jaw
What next.

11:04
You hear
Him try to stop her,
But
Every
Single
Time
Its too late, no use.

11:33
You call me.
Its not uncommon for me to get these texts:
Hey. Sorry its late. Im coming over.*
And you creep out of your home in the dark
And crawl to mine.
My mother always questions the
Black under your eyes,
The blue of your lips,
The purple of your jaw.

Is a house really a home when
You're completely alone?

another thing
that someone else is
grasping tight to,
knuckles white,

just for it to slip away

broken

I feel so
Hopeless nowadays.
Maybe its because
The rain replaced the sun
Or the dark replaced the light,
Too early for goodnight.

Im not myself anymore,
S
  L
    I
     P
        P
          I
            N
                G
Silently.

I dont want to see my friends,
Go to school,
Come back from school.
I cant
Focus
My grades are dying,
Too many people crying
It should only be me.
I never have energy
Anymore.
Too drained even at the beginning of a new day
To smile
To put on blush.
So i stop wearing
And i stopped caring.

I walk
Like a zombie.
Same expression pasted on my pale face,
Stiff grin,
Too fake.
Like plaster
But the mold is starting to break.
And with every crack,
I make a line
And every line,
It turns back time
To when i was happy
And this whole thing,
When this wasnt me.
But now it is?
I cant tell.

Why
Why
Why
Why
Can't
I
Ever
Just
Be
Happy?

You gave me
Callouses
On my heart.
Spots that you roughed up enough
Frequently
That they stayed permantently hardened
Untouchable
An instinct defense now.

Every time we would grow apart,
These callouses would disappear a little
Everyday.
I was stupid for letting these callouses
Become tender.
For letting my gaurd down so that
Every time you gave me that quick, sly grin
I would have to build those calouses up again.
I could either
Thank you,
For making me so strong,
Or despise you,
For making me so weak.

Summer*
The word rings in my head like a gong
Blasting off memories that are too loud,
Unfocused,
Unorganized bits and pieces,
Snippets of meaningless conversation and
Regret
Salt water drying on darkened skin.

The huge thuderstorm
Will be one i'll always remember,
You pulling me tight like
You would never let me go.

Salty surf sprays in sunsoaked hair
Hangs in humid air.

Long talks and
Long walks full of
lies*
Because i couldnt tell you anything else.
Im sorry.

But summer is over now,
And so are we
And the other 'us'
But the memories still remain
Etched into my brain like the
Words crisscrossing her legs
Binding them.

I cant forget what i did
What you did
What we did
And what happened last summer.
But i'd like to
Forget all about you.