I think you're the sea.
Your blue plaid shirt the waters and
My red plaid jacket the sunset,
Our hands are oars,
Yours tracing my fingertips-
My skin-
Arms, legs, and stomach,
Sending shivers down my spine,
Exploring my body like a ship
Sailing out into the horizon.

I hear your heart,
It beats in time with the tide,
Your breath a sweet ocean breeze
As it tousles my hair,
And I'm hyper aware of how
Deep your eyes are.
Not blue,
But brown like the ground of
The earth underneath the water.

Our kisses are dives,
Striving to reach the
Sunken treasure at the bottom
Of your ocean,
Of my ocean,
The pieces are scattered but
We'll find them and
Piece it back together.
Our hands intertwine to
Lock the chest but
I find I drown in your stare

Because seas are violent.
I'd forgotten that, but the thought
Seizes my mind as your waters
Grip my throat and I
Gasp for air but I find I can't
See anymore.

Your hands are cold against my body,
Like the tide of your heart casting me out
Onto the shore,
Naked and sure of indifference
Your breath a typhoon of ice
Hurled perfectly at my chest-
You used this sunset and
Left a storm in my eyes.
Painted a picture of sincerity but
Blue is the color of clarity and
Mine won't forget your
Murderous waves or
Mischievous ways and

Through you I've come to know
Some people aren't that lucky-
We cry alone.
Throw a rock, aim right at our chest,
Our hearts are stone.
We suffer in silence. And
If I could catch all the tears I've cried in a pitcher,
I would rain them down,
Drown a river in my sorrow.
Drown my sorrow in a river?
What's the difference? Life is only borrowed, anyways.

he wrote my life down like he was me.
he saw the tears i cried and the words i spoke and the lies i told saying
"its alright, i'm okay."
the days i hid away were the ones he would be happy,
but happiness only leaked if you were willing to accept the fact that i was broken.
he locked his eyes into mine
and i couldn't find the key,
so he opened his mouth like these words were going to come out and be my first aid kit
leading towards the light,
failure nailed into a lonely pit,
but he smiled.
the deep inhales
and heavy exhales were my life
communicated in disasters
only to be plastered by my sighs.
and the words
"no i'm just tired"
came out more than the hours i spent washed up on a winters day
without a smile or something to say so say it.
say the words like you mean,
no twisted vocabulary,
the laughs may vary,
not many people know about feelings.
though feelings lead to love
love leads to hate,
be my fate by the reason i wake up every morning.
be the sunshine that will help me ignore the closed door of family.
the scattered songs
or the long days and nights with prosperous fights with envy as my gun and no shield.
the disparity and loneliness of home only cut me down more,
the scars opened into black holes and only oblivion was taken in by them while i nodded
accepting that my black hole was only me and myself.
i only heal my wounds to hide them
i'm not hiding any more.
he wrote
"i found you."
i found me to.

Today, i thought nothing of it....
I did it again.
Falling in step woth the same cycle, over and over.
So when i showed a little too much skin,
Let a little too much be seen...
I wasnt surprised, but he saw.
And he looked up at me, with innocent brown eyes
And asked me what the marks on my waist were from.
He wanted to know if it was my dog,
His sometimes scratched him.
But, as he pointed out, his fluffy, loving black lab
Could never cut him that deep.
And he asked me why.
What i told him, was this:
I said
listen, sammy, listen to me. Im okay, okay?
He nodded, but the marks were too numerous
And even a five year old
Can sniff out a lie, just like their black lab.

It's not just
"A phase."
Not just something you can
"Get over."
It becomes a lifestyle.
The lifestyle where
The grey eyes, deep purple souled rule
With shiny silver right beside.
And they'll do anything to get that rush,
Stricky fingers
Or violent palms.
Hunched over on tile floor
When  no one is around to hear,
Smell of burning flesh and shrivled pride mix with
The sound of fresh and
Innocently sweet smiles outside.
But turn and
Look in a mirror.
The glass reflecting is just another tool,
It's all that's in our heads.

Wondering how it would feel
To be the product of an act of heartless violence.
Would you believe you are nothing?
Or would you be stronger?
Wondering how people would react
If you told them you are
The sum of a misrepresented equation?
How could a vicious act of cruelty and terror
Lead to such delicate beauty?

Noticing, across the room.
The one boy who sits
With his head bowed,
Everyone else's back slightly turned,
As little as it won't be considered mean,
But still stings.
Or noticing the one girl who stares straight ahead, her eyes fixed on something no one else can see,
Something that maybe is invisible to her, too.
If you look closely enough,
You could maybe see the drawing in his notebook,
Scribbled worlds like
ugly
stupid
worthless
Maybe he needs a little
Tap on the back,
An "are you okay?"
From someone
Anyone.
Maybe he needs a little time
To rationalize?
Maybe, if given too much time,
There will be none left.

I feel like we're brushing fingers across
Two oceans because
You can't reach that far and
I can't make up for the distance
In between.
Some kind of
Halfway,
Meet in the middle arrangement but i feel like im
Stretching farther
Than you're trying to.
So one sided that i can barely remember
Which side im on.
Can you help me reach you?
Or is it too late and you're too far
Gone

When you told us the
Disease you had, i never understood.
You said it made you sad,
Thats all i knew it could.
You never seemed that way,
I guess you held it in.
Its always easier never to show
The pain you hide within.
So when i told you mine,
You said "for real?" But cant you see?
The pain i hide within is real, yes,
But real is not in me.