our souls we're much too big for our bodies,
it was bursting out the seams of our small limbs.

maybe everything started that one day
in seventh grade when we lied about what movie we were
going to see,
and we put up our hair in brown piles on top of our heads
and squeezed into pants so small we could feel our bones pressing against
the fabric.

when we walked into town,
miles from your house in the dusty summer,
with me dragging my skateboard along,
with the skull on the bottom
and you walking with you long legs slightly in front of me;
drunkards with
swiveling eyes whistled at us from
a green jeep and tried to cajole us into the car,
my small ******* was ****** high into
the sweltering air
"******* YOU MISOGYNISTIC *******,"

we couldn't get into the movie we wanted to,
so we snuck into a different one
filled with snow and dark
and twirling tendrils that reached toward us and
made our stomach crawl.

sometimes i miss the times desperately
when we would pack things into a small cloth
sack
food, knives
we'd trek in the forest for hours and
this one time we broke into somebodies pool, dipped our feet in
then got chased away by their livid dog.

we had left the gun we brought there,
you had two and we liked feeling it cold against our
empty fingers,
so i had to run back and get it.

sometimes i think about how if i had never met you,
my life would be so different.
i would have never smoked my first joint
with you on your trampoline
encased in large, fluffy blankets
under millions of stars that couldn't quite fit in our
eyes all at the same time.

we would have never pranced in
yellow drying grass,
and almost fell into your creek, with
your brother laughing behind.

i'm glad we wrote songs
together even if they were about
blood dripping slowly from our open carcasses;
we weren't the most optimistic kinds of
girls.

we had wills as hard as
hitting iron,
metallic in spurting bloodshed.

we were rebellious,
like other girls we're pretty,

and we fought like warriors should
in small, bland classrooms
with teachers who knew nothing of being hurt.

our voices were strong,
unwavering like something found in the depths of a morning sky.

we raised ourselves well, darling.

today eyes found white clouds reading a little hard
monitor screen slightly remote prints a little blurred
gathered a few teardrops vision felt the pang of strain
it was then the mind drifted white clouds brought a rain!

from now on sunshine would not all be that bright
patch of crooked darkness would cry out for light
a curtain would come on way block the color's shade
things would no more look the way they are made!

the lens would not capture what's finer for eyes
beauties in smallness textures in disguise
blueness of sky the raw greenness of grass
would stale when looked through a pair of glass!

today white clouds brought the first layer of film
turned the nooks darker made daylight look dim
gathered a few teardrops vision felt the pang of strain
mind knew from now on life would not be same again!

My thoughts are crabbed and sallow,
My tears like vinegar,
Or the bitter blinking yellow
Of an acetic star.

Tonight the caustic wind, love,
Gossips late and soon,
And I wear the wry-faced pucker of
The sour lemon moon.

While like an early summer plum,
Puny, green, and ****,
Droops upon its wizened stem
My lean, unripened heart.

****
i wish we could drop acid
on a rolling hill like earthly ocean
waves,
summer breeze swiftly rocking
us back and forth in the
twisting realities, and
folding, condensing, expanding
visions, exploding in our
open, wide eyes.

i wish i could kiss you
and feel flowers grow from
your lips,
my ******* turning into
opening roses
soft and voluptuous under your
persistent hands.

get grass in my hair,
and count each and every one of the
angrily pulsating stars above us
as we lay naked somewhere
where reality can't breach.

let me comfortably say after
that i have lost my virginity;

because it'll be the first time i've ever
made love to a god.

Once we had
the whole world
all to ourselves,
we baked potatoes
in the fire,
named the constellations,
became blood siblings.

I traced your cheeks,
saw moons
inside you pupils,
tasted the flavor
on your full lips.

Cupid was hiding
in the woods nearby,
waiting for the perfect shot.
He hit a bulls eye
& we kissed into eternity,
forever laid
down our hearts.

Now we lie
a million miles apart.

I find myself watching
movies for the purpose
of having something I
can relate to you about
the composition in
American ****** is
amazing Or asking
what video game you
think I should buy, I
remember your punctuation
and you use none in your
replies, I'm beyond being
in love with you, so i don't
understand why i'm still
trying to be your
perfect
girl.

I am the original renegade,
was crazy before I was born.
I never play the status quo game,
it was I who invented
the tune of a different drummer,
even the Marlboro Man
took cues from me.

There's no reason for me
to write with any encryption,
'cause I have no superstitions,
I just wanna tell it,
give to you straight,
harden your resolve.

Some might call that ego,
but whenever I've fallen,
I've gotten back up.
Once I ran with the bulls
& they have bigger ***** than me,
I won the race.

Like you 'lil darling,
I'm the dangerous type,
you can ask Cleo,
she sings the words.

Booting up & shutting down,
it's an endless dance
between the lit screens
on our open-laptops.

We contribute our verses
into a time & space phenomena,
wondering
if anybody will ever
really understand us.

And what really matters,
trading intimacies,
exchanging barbs,
turning each other on,
shutting each other out,
with the tapping of keys
or the push of a button.

I think
I'm going take my last sip
of sweet iced tea,
log off & go to sleep
dreaming of you.

God is good. **** polytheists.

So you think
you're so tough little miss,
but do you really
wanna play
with the big boys,
**** kissing games,
a bout of doctor?

You might find it a bit rough,
raw & primordial
with your body quaking.
They're not going
to sugarcoat things for you,
they'll give it to you straight,
any way you want it,
just to satisfy
your heart's desires,
or those burning whims.

And if you must,
go ahead and lie,
tell them they're so fine,
giving you just what you wanted.
Trust me doll face,
you're gonna grow up quick,
flirting with the big boys,
it will forever be
in your blood &
written on your
pretty faces.