We crossed over
into the hinterlands,
burned trails
to unnamed  
watering holes,
those dingy places,
where we
lifted our hands
backwards,
tilted our heads upwards
to the gods
& drank copiously.

There was no law,
only disorder, but
nobody ever got in our way,
so we continued with impunity
to play wildly.

In altered states,
we mated
with unknown devils
who ****** us dry,
left us crying as
broken down dogs,
barking at the moon
& swearing oaths,
promises of silence,
what happens
south of the border,
stayed south of the border.
And it did.

Sometimes I get a bit on the darkside.
A'ight, so what?
I would keep to myself (but for you,
Beautiful reader/sacred deceiver).

When you find solace in words
it's 'cause they found something in you;
It's all about experiencing the view.

I would read an essay on How to Draw A Straight Line if someone wrote it, I would like to know how to freehand perfection, how draw a flawless connection.

2. I would buy a lifetime supply if there was a perfume that smelled like CDs after I eject them from the player in my car, like fundip sticks, faintly sweet, completely bizarre.

3. I’ll scour every article on the science of smiles if it meant yours might leave me less lost, so I could interpret the exact angle of your lips and not feel like I have become one of your sunken ships.

i haven't been thinking about you lately, i swear i haven't, but i was just thinking about parties and trashing myself and how anyone who isn't trashing themselves is just preserving their own corpse and i was thinking about death, lots of it, and i was suddenly hit with the realization that i am going to die [as i occasionally remember] and i had the sudden sensation to tell someone i think i am going to die and i picked up the phone and i nearly typed it all out, until i realized how he would react. how alarmed he would be. how he'd think i was speaking about suicide and try to talk me off a roof i'm not standing on. and then i thought about you. i thought about all of our talks and how i could say anything around you and you'd absorb it and yeah, sometimes you made me feel stupid, but most times you made me feel heard. sometimes you even had crazy things to say yourself and i, of course [being in love with you], ate them right up, right out of your lap. and i miss that. but talking to you is completely out of the question and he'll never understand.

i. You imprinted my thighs with (x)'s
ii. nothing about us was beautiful, we were bad rhymes and crumpled art
iii. I asked you out with cold coffee and trembling fingers, it is not as romantic as it sounds
iv. you loved my lips with razor blades, I kissed your lines with tears and alcohol
v. my wrists fit in your palms better than my hand matched yours.
vi. I did not know how to fall properly
vii. neither did you.

I waited,
at times I debated,
feeling like a teenager aboot to go on their first date,
I had work the next day but didn't care if I had to stay up late,
it was going to be the first time I saw you,
and nothing was going to stop me,
it was an electricity that I couldn't put down ,
and my breath was gone as if there any need for air,
I saw you
and I couldn't help but stare,
the night was slow but gone to fast,
like trying to remember a face from your past,
I need you is all I could muster to say,
and I won't call tomorrow a day,
how could I when I won't be able to see your smile
brighter than the sun,
so I will keep tonight inside my heart but never oot of sight,
I'll say that I still have walls, but that is a lie,
Like headlines written in the night sky,
of my life,
you have become permanent.

I desire to see what holds tomorrow,
but I dread it will end in sorrow,
it just might,
I desire to love you once again,
but I dread it's inevitable end,
who's to say it will?
I desire to stay here tonight,
and dread the dreams that end in sweat and fright,
maybe we are just playing a game,
I desire to hear your voice even when it's dead,
but I dread when we are just wait for what needs to be said
it has a chance to work,
I desire to wait,
but I dread it's fate,
I look down,
are there no more?
is this just the fates trying to show their power?
I will pick up another flower.