Liz Devine

Liz Devine Nov 2012

Lately I've been living another life
I play pretend all day
I smile and say hello
Standing tall and pretty
wearing the mask of a happier girl

I come home and busy myself
with things that are normal
things that I would never do
I push my pens and paints away
hide them with my tears
and make believe that it's all okay

But when no one's home and I'm all alone
I crawl under my kitchen table and cry
I throw cups at the wall
and scream until my voice gives out
because I'm tired
of pretending this is the good life

Liz Devine Nov 2012

Sinking

I fell from the stars into the sea
and that's when everything went dark
I sank further and further
into blackness
into the unforgiving abyss

I screamed for you
but my voice wasn't heard
nothing could be seen of me
as I slid into the deep
as I let it take me

You were standing on the beach
clenching the cool wet sand
between your toes
feeling it under your feet
staring up at the stars
who had spit me out

You didn't see me fall
or hear my struggle
you just stood quietly
in another world
far away
and unaffected by the noise

Liz Devine Nov 2012

And Then The Rain Will Come

And then the rain came down
Quietly, slowly
Dripping from my head
to the tip of my nose
and then down to my feet

The rain comes
only when the sky is smiling
and the night begins to stretch
it's long arms towards the sun
to smother it with darkness
Because its time to say goodnight

The rain will come
whenever you're not ready
when you can handle it the least
that's when it will hit

The clouds will roll in
and you'll be away
from home
from God and all things good

Don't let it drown you little one
keep breathing
and turn your face towards the sky

Liz Devine Nov 2012

Title unnecessary

I was there
And it was my body
That shook and screamed
And left blood behind

But I couldn't rip
The memory out
Or throw it away
No matter how hard I tried

They were my tears
The ones that settled
On your shoulder
That ran down to your chest

And you said
It made you feel like
You had been standing in the rain

You were never supposed to leave
My sleepy little moon
But sometimes the sun has to rise
The day must come
Leaving the night alone
Letting you go

Liz Devine Nov 2012

You at 4:00am

But there was a part of you, there
that was good
and vulnerable
you let me hold it
only for a moment
and I haven't seen it since

But that was the man
the one that fills my dreams
and makes me sing
who puts my body at ease
that one, the one I saw there

Please bring him back home safe
to me, and only me
for he is mine and I am his
yes, that's the one strong enough
to change the "game"
to change it all

When you moved through me,
I felt him there
and I wished,
on God herself and on every bright star
that he would stay inside me
and he would never leave

But he did.

Liz Devine Nov 2012

Only Sometimes

I would never tell you this
not in a million years
let God or thunder or some impossible force
strike me down dead before I utter a word
Before I let a syllable fall from my lips

But,
sometimes
I can't ******* stand you

I can't listen to you speak
without wanting to choke
on my phone
or anything that might be within reach

But I'll never tell you this
because I've foolishly filled your basket
with all of my eggs
and this can't not work
I will not let this die

Liz Devine Nov 2012

If I Were a Smarter Girl

If I were a smarter girl,
then I would have left you long ago
I would have turned off my phone
stepped away from your cruel world
and let you go,
but I've never been that clever

If I were bigger
then I'd walk right past you
and when the other boys smiled and winked my way
maybe I would've winked back
but I've never been very visible

If I were happier
then you'd probably love me more
you would want to show me off
because I would make you proud
but I've always been one for tears

The place where I live inside you
is made of shiny plastic
it's cheap and easily subdued
so I moved out
because I won't watch it fall around me

Good bye sweet love
it was nothing less than incendiary
when the rosy glasses covered my eyes
from the certain reality
that soon you will leave
and I will be here reveling in a lost dream
but I'm good and gone
because I've never been one for make believe.