I'm building
I can feel it,
even as I sit in my chair,
and realize that for once,
my feet touch the ground
and they are firmly planted,
beneath me
and all that I carry

I'm growing,
up and up,
inward and out
My chest is rising,
my spine is elongating
and I am coming into my own,
and all that I stand for

I'm getting bigger,
becoming,
seeing
and breathing
at a rapid rate,
from nowhere
My own power has hit me like a bus,
like a wave
and a current so strong,
that it has washed over all that I was,
and has left me with what I could be
No,
It is what I am

No longer,
will I wish for a beautiful day,
when I will be strong,
to run and fight at my own free will,
because to day is that day
No longer will I aspire,
or dream of what I can be,
because I already am,
becoming her,
in every inch by inch,
in every breath I take,
and every day that I'm alive

I have stopped,
dreaming and scheming,
of the woman I wish to be
I have opened my eyes
and I can see my own light,
I am big and beaming,
I am someone
I am, that I am

His is a face I used to know
One I used to touch,
paint with light,
place my mouth and tongue over
and cover with pure love

Once I obsessed over that face
I saw it every time I closed my eyes,
it made sleep all I wanted
Night time was the best time,
because it was consumed by him

His was the one in the moon
Same cool smirk and wandering eyes
He pulled me in
I was his ocean, and the tide was always high

Now he's a mirage,
just a small piece of what I was
A single square of my life's puzzle
because his face is different now,
a little healthier,
a little less worry,
now that I'm not around,
ever since I let him go

His face fades a little more everyday,
continuously becoming less real,
just a dream within a dream,
a fragment of my imagination

Soon he'll be gone
and that face,
the one I loved so tenderly,
will leave my moon alone,
to fill another sky

I still think of you,
sometimes late into the night,
eyes wide awake and body aching,
pulsating and confused
Perpetual shifting,
tossing and turning

Staring at my clock,
waiting on my phone,
I lay in silence and shut my eyes tight,
until they're little slits

Avoiding thoughts of you is despairing,
because you make my dreams golden,
it's a euphoric escape

Rolling over,
pretending to sleep
I conjure up your image
and call you to my bed,
to my despondent embrace

The daylight sobers,
and puts my mind at ease
You are easy to forget here,
but when the moon beams into my window,
that's when I'll miss you,
that's when the real darkness will come

So who said,
I cannot cry?
Or be free,
to say how I feel?
Why is that a rule?

To hide it all away,
within me,
or shove it in my ever bursting heart,
who would that help?

Don't be afraid of the tears I cry,
I am not weak,
I'm strong
Because I won't listen to you
I'll them out,
big hot ones
and little soft ones,
laying down ones that drown my face

The tears will fall,
freely
and they will,
warm me my eyes
and make them cherry red

My tears are all separate
and they are all equal
So Judge me,
go ahead and call me crazy
I am what I am,
but at least I *know

I fell in love with a man,
who had skin,
that was shiny and dark like copper
In one false swoop,
I fell and became his

My copper man has eyes,
that are as black as a moonless night
He smells of sweet musk
and as I breathe in his breath,
I wonder,
how did I survive,
with out this warm earth?
Have I only begun to breathe?

I fell in love with a copper man,
whose black hair dances with mine
Copper man is my morning dove
and my evening crow
He is a wise owl,
hooing me to sleep

I fell in love with a copper man
and he moves through me like rain,
whispers to me like the wind
He makes the sky
and moves the clouds
He keeps the stars shining

But I created the ocean
and I alone,
can keep the waves crashing
and drown the sailors,
who dare,
to get lost in me

As day fades to night,
I dream of your sweet nectar
Pinks and oranges,
from the sun's heavenly glow
It changes eloquently into deep,
deep purples,
like a fresh bruise
Clean and round on my backside,
from a drunken fall,
and too many laughs,
that were red and yellow
and full of life

You're the face in my sleepy moon,
that hangs clumsily in the sky
and dances with the stars

The cicadas sing me to sleep
and their buzzing rises up,
from the cool moist earth,
to join the warm night air

Laying still on the cool grass,
brings the fire flies near
and I laugh with them,
as you whisper in my ear
and start the storm between my legs

Those hot summer nights,
keep me smiling
and restore me to life

Your closed eyes,
your pursed lips,
look elegantly whole,
as you lay them near mine

From your lashes, so long
to every stumble of hair on your chin
They are perfect,
little pieces of you,
that create a wonderful,
puzzle of a man
and my sleepy little moon

I don't know what you did,
or where you came from,
but thank you,
for making a home in me
and fathering my shriveled little heart

Now it's heavenly
and red
and full of life

My love comes from a clean place,
where it's honest
and sunny
A place where I'd love to live
A place that's particularly me,
(or who I was anyway)

Thank you for being stagnant
An island
and my rock
I am the water who lazily,
washes over you,
swaying with the wind
and your lovely moon