I thought I caught a glance from them.
A smirk, a deriding look.
I freeze.
Is there something in my teeth? A hair or thread that is out of place?
My god, what have I done.
I must look like a fool.
How do I even deserve to sit here, in public.
Everything I've done or said before, they must think it has been a lie.
Indeed, it was a lie.
I've been pretending to be someone I am not. And I am nothing.  
What should I do, now that the truth is out?
They'll turn me out. Then what would I do?
What the heck. I'll confront them. All is lost and I have nothing more to lose.
I walked hastily over.
"Hi guys..." I started meekly, "how's it going"?

"Oh hey Liz! Didn't see you. Wanna join us?"

I have children in my head.
Chasing each other around in a vicious game
Taunting, threatening, being afraid
Then finally sitting down, alone and crying.
"What is it, my children. Why are you fighting?"
"He did this to me last time, and he's going to do it again"
"When did he hurt you?" I asked
"Last time, I don't remember"
"Is he doing it now?"
"Now? I don't know. I wasn't paying attention."

I have children in my head.