if you ran away itd have to be digital and thats pathetic.

its just downright sad you have to eat bites of gigabytes to survive because you cant swallow meat, that to live unfettered youd have to string copper wires through your veins, but youve never been anything but capital p Pathetic so you think you can stand that idea.  

after all, it was the unfeeling internet anonymous who taught you to breathe deeply when you were anxious, and how the messy act of human reproduction worked (imperfect and fleshy, you thought). they taught you words your living tongue refuses to pronounce. between chat programs and status updates you formed multimedia connections, held fast by streams of text and data, and even now they seem more real than anything reality has presented you.

in an era far away with a hint of nostalgia you freely immerse yourself in childhood where your friends homes are only a click away. you feed them dinner with a sense of purpose. Technology has made it possible

Let me write you into a fantasy,
spin your fingertips through a maze,
weaving the freckles on your arms into
the things that you crave.
The frustration will shatter
like the plates you have always secretly wanted strewed
across the kitchen floor.
Glass dust rests
in the creases and,
though you warned me to wear shoes,
remain endlessly embedded in my heels.
I will lift up my legs and let you see,
to try to catch a glimpse of your own reflection,
the sparkle past your eyes that match the glint
of glass in my skin.
“See?” I would say,
arms tight around your chest, eyes
clenched shut buried
in the damp nape
of your neck.

Let me become your time vessel.
Rewind, two years,
you are still you and I am still me,
pressed up against the corner
of one of your kitchen counters.
Your ghost whisper lingers
in my ear,
“You’re giving me goose bumps.”
I will bring you through time,
jumping moment
to moment,
a rush of feeling settling in
the pit of your stomach.
You are blindsided,
tangled in the clutches of each second wasted
and ignited into gray ash.
When I am your time vessel, those seconds will be collected
and stored, so you can replay them over
and over and eventually
you will understand
the implications,
you will find the meaning,
you will learn to be happy again.

Let me count your bruises.
Red-faced and breathless,
you push the world away
only to fall back into the carpet again.
Each exhale jagged but controlled,
a bead of sweat forming like tears
against your wrinkled forehead.
An instant clouded by exertion, hearing nothing but
the sharp intake of breath.
I will lie next to you with my hair
above me, hands cupping ears.
And as you lift
your shoulders
off the ground, I will count for you.

Somewhere in your lecture, you say
"you have addiction problems"

you don't know how right you are
but you don't know how strong I am.

I have fought pills, cough syrup
energy drinks and cutting
and you'll never know.

but I've won.

I may have addiction problems
but I ain't gonna let morning tea turn into one.
I trust myself more than you ever have
and that's what's helping me learn to love myself
and beat those addictions.

so drag me down all you want,
but all it's doing is helping me stand tall
(and showing me what I can defeat,
by getting me started in the first place)

I woke up this morning.
At 1:00 P.M.
Feeling half rejuvenated, half guilty.
I walked to the bathroom and
looked out my favorite window.
Outside on this January afternoon,
it looked bleak and rainy.
Dark, and very still.
It made me feel something that was difficult to decipher.
I had a flashback to a day
I must have been about ten years old.
I went to the movies
WIth my sister and dad.
Finding Nemo, I believe.
On a day much like today.
And I don’t know why exactly,
but this is a very, very fond memory of mine.
And next thing I know,
on this Sunday morning,
after just waking up,
hardly having started my day,
I am feeling very nostalgic for my childhood.

I bet if I knew you,
I mean really, really knew you,
I would know that you know exactly how I feel.

Someone offered to sweep me off my feet
A series of dates to take my breath away
I wondered whether to do it
It's been a while since I let go
Gave someone a chance
To impress me.
I haven't been to fancy dinners
or to fun dog shows
Maybe I have let life pass me by
Not trusting enough
Or letting my guard down
They say the third time is the charm.
Am counting on a third date.