I think vanity is a poison
Trying to keep a day frozen
The mirror you can't run from
Probably afraid and then some

Grocery trips made me remember
The last day I stumbled

Eyes and ears at every turn
I really wanted to be returned
Running and running
And running when sore

I hit the floor
Blood did pour

I want to know
Who read the news

That my face was gone

It would also feel less hurtful when she gushes over TV for something the family she made deals with.

She can't relate past the family that made her deal with it.

It always is about her and Bob.

Like every connection still has to be from her family. And her family is not us.

Which is crazy because she made us.

I get bored a lot
More so I am lonely

As a child I wanted
People to hold me

Stages overlapped
Growing up too fast

Slipping through gaps
Running to collapse

I heard a theory
It was a nice thought

That I hated my skin
It wasn't mine I was in

Mine was still waiting
Snoring and cranky

For me to find again.

Floored was the norm
Worry was the game
All things ignored
I'm also to blame

Things were never good
Twilight always came

Looks and nods
To put it simple
It felt sane

At anniversaries
I collected cards
Tried to wink
Say the right things

Except for Christmas
With anger and no heart
You left us to miss us

I didn't even start.

Say something out loud
You will have to acknowledge it
Many spend their whole lives
Repeating the most crucial sentences
They will ever create
Solely within their head

Peter Peter had a wife and probably beat her.
He bought her with her father's farewell
No one asked. Nor should you either!
When is the last time you've seen her?

It's so loud
The silence
In my ears
And it hurts

They died.

I can't hear
It's so loud
I'm leaning
Just to listen

A laugh
Or a whistle
Three blinks

I'm trying.