Beauty crowds me til I die
In the most peculiar places
A wave on the ocean front
A changing of seasons, autumn to winter
A choice
A kiss
A love
Beauty is all around me
Why am I not allowed to have it as well?

Would you watch me, while I sleep? (Just a thought
So many other things you’d rather do,
I’m a probable loss, not really sought).
Would it so surprise you, if you loved too?

Pieces are designed to fit in puzzles,
And this puzzling world threw you my way.
I puzzle over you, and I struggle
To see the light, though it’s breaking my days.

I’ve seen bleak futures, lit by fireworks
Emblazoning hope in those ocean eyes.
I play with the pieces, turning your perks
Over, competing the potential highs
With perception. Potentially. You,
Enlighten me. Let me brighten you, too.

In my mind
I have tried to logically conclude it
But my guilt takes over every time
It questions my intent and my perspective.
All that was beautiful in me,
my vulnerability, compassion, chivalry and even sense of humor,
are standing in the corner
heads down with shame
And I wonder
shall I stand with them in condolence
or lock them far away
so that I can focus on thinking
'Did I matter?' &
'Will I matter?'

This emptiness is real
so is my fear of its perpetuity.

Alpha.
I am the Wolfpack. The Wolfpack is me.
Our blood runs warm.
Danger at every turn, excitement in our crashing hearts.
Trepidation lies no where.
The Hunt.

Inhale and
Sing away the lies, the cries until you run out of breath.
Inhale again and
The glorious notes to everyone else's ears
Are a deep healing for you.

Sing.
Don't Stop.
Keep singing.

Hello there, can you hear me?
Probably not, for you're long gone.
A day so bleak and gloomy.
Broke such a great bond.

I loved you so,
Only to end in a harsh blow.
No worries though,
For you still live in between the spaces of fallen snow.

Early one morning while putting on my socks,
I saw what appeared to be a mouse.
I watched intently for hours, it seemed,
It looked back at me, with mild curiosity,
then ran off into the hole in the wall.

It came back that night
while I was taking off my socks.
It was bigger, somehow,
and had antlers.

I am a cigarette to you.

You lit me up,
and I burned slowly,
and you enjoyed my simple highs,
and got dizzy from my insides.

You began to crave me,
addicted to the sensations I gave your mind,
reliant on the comfort I gave you.

But your fingers began to slip,
and I would burn you,
and I had no choice,
I was on fire.

Then I was nothing but a filter,
and you stomped me into the ground.

But in the end, I was killing you all along.