Upon blank pages
I exercise my emotions
Worries, loves, hates,
Indecision, insecurities;
All those things
That threaten
To explode to the surface
Like a worn punching bag.
These blank pages
Accept in silence
All those emotions
That threaten to consume me,
And when the last word is written
And the last period placed,
The overwhelming burden
Was somewhat lighter
And from what became therapy,
Poetry emerged.

On the verge of unbelieving
That Heave can exist;
For depressions pull is strong
Not so easy to resist
The constant toil of daily life
Is a struggle at its best;
But every life is filled with hardships
As we journey on our quest.
It isn’t what you want in life
Like wishing on a star;
It’s how you deal with what life gives you
That determines who you are.
So I’ve quit thinking every obstacle
Is a hazard in my path
I’ve quit blaming everyone else and God
For the failures that I have.
I’ve determined if life is better
I’ll have to make it for myself;
I’ll work hard for things I want
Not counting on any help.
If I’m down, I’ll lift up myself
By doing things that I enjoy;
If it makes me feel like laughing
Then mud cakes will be my toy.
I’ll cast off the worldly standards
Of what’s socially right to do;
And live my life for me, this round
And what it takes to get me through.

You are saying I choose to let them hurt me
And mayhap you are right.
If I choose every action
And every reaction
Then I condone myself
No matter what I choose.
Am at fault
Even their reaction
Is partly mine to blame;
For it was my action that created their reaction,
So why do I suddenly feel doomed
In every choice I make.

Sometimes
I feel like I’m drowning
In the whirlpool of life.
Caught
In the swirling vortex
Occasionally
Getting the chance to breathe
Before I go back under
The drowning weight of life.
Does it ever stop spinning?
I’m sure it must have been tranquil
At one time,
But I can’t seem to remember it.
I want to be happy,
Go with the flow;
But in the toilet of life
I spend most of my time
Trying to stay afloat.

Fear of Water

Reflections from the setting sun
Glisten and dance upon the water.
A cool breeze comes and goes
Capturing the soft smell of saltwater.
The sun, a blazing ball of orange
Is halfway sunk into the water.
Standing upon the small deck,
I look out at the breathtaking view.
But, all I can think about is the murky water
And whether or not I might spring a leak

Uphill struggles on the road
That lead me near to you;
Panicked times when doubt seeps in
Dear Lord what should I do.
Put on the armor you have said
And after doing all stand still.
Renew your strength and wait on me
Just rest, this is my will.
These fleshly thoughts are tempted
To fix everything myself;
Forgetting I can never win,
Unless I have your help.
Sometimes it’s hard to fight
That need to push ahead
To just be still, stop pushing
And wait on you instead.
Lord give me the wisdom
To pull back if needed,
The strength to push ahead
Or the faith to just stand still and wait
The way your word has said.

It's you against the world
And you think you're too far gone.
Lost to the point of no return,
You're barely hanging on.

There's too much pain to handle
And you'll do anything
To keep from hurting anymore
So your fighting fists keep swinging.

But there's no such thing as hopeless
You're never too lost to be found.
You don't always have to start running
As soon as your feet hit the ground.

Not everyone's out to hurt you
So let down those guarding walls.
Brick by brick, just drop them
Throw them, crush them, watch them fall.

But things cannot get better
If your feet stay on the path
That's leading you to nowhere
Except a pit of endless wrath.

So turn around right now
And give your best in all you do
Turn on the light, start doing right,
And the best will find you too.