You’ve got to make the body fit the box
Don’t cheat, don’t lose the shoes and socks
No point killing six foot Joe
If five feet ten is the space to go
It’s not Mary's time
She’s still in her prime
Jack’s a popular name
To be in the frame
They say no Jack’s the same
It’s like some sick game
Alas, it’s not Jack today
Shame though, he had a lot to say
No, today it’s going to be Mitch
The dog who stole my *****
Five foot ten in his socks
Boy’ he’s in for a shock
He just won't know
Not till the final blow
Going to bury him deep
Watch the ***** weep
The deed is done
Now for some fun
Okay, maybe whacked the wrong guy
Seems the snitch told a lie
That's a blow
Still, that’s the way it goes
Now i need another box
New measurements
Maybe some socks
Someone will pay
At the end of the day
Well what do you know
Turned out to be six foot Joe
Now five foot ten
You'd never know
Could have been a whole lot worse
He could have been poor Mitch
Fitting snug
Between the *****.

**** in black
**** in blue
Doesn’t want to talk
Doesn’t want your heart

Wants you for the day
Wants you for the night
Just not tomorrow
Then you’re out of sight

Laughs at wedding blues
Vows for him and you
Bound for life in haste
God what a waste

What a beautiful boy
Must be such a joy
Keeping you up all night
Such a delight

Got him in sight
He’ll do for the night
No number required
Girls delight

Dresses to thrill
Goes in for the ****
She’ll never be true
**** in black
**** in blue.

Her misshapen ******* were the straightest things about her.
Unlike her personality which corkscrewed wine going out of fashion.
We met on the other side.
In the dead of night.
I was dead, I said goodnight.
She was living on vampires delight.
Do you want me to go down.
Go down, are you nuts.
Go down and get more wine.
Yeah you go down and drink yourself to death.
I’ll do that, see you in the a.m.
Great, tell me how I did.
I will.
Seems I did great.
Don’t remember you being naked the last drink I saw you.
I came back for your promise, you made me work for it.
This ****’s been violated, hope you didn’t work to hard.
It was worth it, wine and frustration and ******* lead to come-sation.
Wish I was there.
You were to a point, we shared a joint.
Talking about joints, don’t you have one to get back to.
Do you know, you can tell a lot about a man from his wine collection.
You would know, you drank most of it.
Do you fancy doing it in the shower.
Did you see ******.
I’ll get us a refill, goodbye *** is so hot.
Goodbye would be hotter.
Is this a good wine, I’ve poured it on my *******.
What, that’s a hundred pounds a bottle, put it back.
Double pleasure for you when you lick it off.
You don't lick wine like that, you savour it.
Well savour it then, fifty pounds a breast.
Would be cheaper killing her, nobody would miss her anyway.
Is wine a good investment.
It was till I met you.
My dad’s left me some money, he was an oil baron, you know.
When you say oil baron, do you mean he delivered oil.
No, he owned wells in Texas
You’re winding me up.
No, I’m worth a fortune.
Wine is a good investment. We should go back to bed and discuss our future. Things are finally looking up.

Death surrounded her
Bombs falling captured the stories inside her head
Real life tears fell over blood-soaked mornings
Screams pierced right into the reality she called life
Friends, limbs missing made her look abnormal
Laughter left the country vowing never to return
She watched the burning figure running towards her
Collapsing before her, pleading for death
But death didn’t want him that day
He wasn’t one of the fortunate ones
She climbed into the basement seeking solace
Clutching the doll who like herself seemed to have survived in one piece
But something wasn’t right
Dolly was living a lie
She pulled one arm and one leg off
Dolly smiled
And the world became normal again.

That sad lament flickering through her day
Buried deep, but not deep enough
Folded flag, a reminder of the love never returned
Death the escape, but still the prisoner
Married to the ego
Maybe both
The beauty queen, ugly inside
She heard the words. One ego, that’s a bang. Two ego’s, that’s an explosion.
He would wait for her, he liked the ugly side
How did he know the ending
She didn’t know, and she was living it
The flags, the medals, the shiny crown
He threw his in the river, went back to his old life
She didn’t understand how he could do that
He was part of it
They were all part of it
She was kidding herself
Like the crown that defined her
Living on memories
Waiting out time
She wanted life
The war hero’s widow
They would put that on her gravestone
She began to understand him now
He was free
He’d won his war
Now he was waiting for her to win hers
Her own freedom
The sun was shining the day she handed the flag and medals to his mum
The walk over the bridge would finally set her free
The crown didn’t make much of a splash
No bang, no explosion
Just so much more
He liked her ugly side
She liked that just fine.

The woman’s talking gallstones
He’s going on about his eyes
That one’s under the doctor
What does that mean
She doesn’t understand the younger generation
The price of fish
She’s come in with her leg
That caught my attention
Does she have three
He came in with his leg last week, now its his arm
Her daughters pregnant with triplets
For some reason i imagined them doing it three times that night
Hospital food is still awful
Maybe it’s the price of fish
You don’t want admitted on a Monday
Note to body, heart attack Tuesday onwards
You don’t want that Dr Campbell
I had him last week
Doctor Baker is nice
My goldfish died
That happened to my dog
Wonder if it ate the goldfish
My doctor's experimenting on me
Sure the medical board don’t allow that
Okay, all hell's broke loose
Dr Campbell has taken a heart attack
On a Monday as well
Poor Dr Campbell, he was so nice
Well that’s the kettle calling the *** black
What’s wrong with you son
Well i thought i was going nuts
But I’ve now made a remarkable recovery.

Her eyes are
intoxicaitingly
limpid pools.
Dive in.
Frolic. Romp.
Revel.
Get drunk.
Then enjoy
the best
hangover
ever.

The wounded animal is at its most dangerous when approached.
This animal has been festering for a lot of years now.
An open wound covered by the ****** bandage of past glories.
Waiting to rise.
Seeking direction.
The inspiring leader.
When the world seeks guidance, and the house is dark.
Dangerous times lay ahead.

Now is the time for a long term relationship.
I declare my intentions online
Tazmin comes through. She’s just come out of a ten year relationship.
She could be the one.
Okay, she’s just come out of prison after ten years. Caught the boyfriend cheating on her.
Okay Tazmin, get back to you.
Right, Chantelle has split from her long time lover Rosie. She wants to try something new. But i need to get a *** change.
Don’t know if that’s lesbian humour or not.
Message from Candy. Get a life *******.
I just know she’s the one. But i’m not lowering myself to that level just yet.
Tina. ******* hate men.
You don’t know me Tina.
You’re a man, that’s enough.
Any sensible women out there.
Madge, I’m 84 looking for a relationship. My last lover died on the job.
Madge. For fucksakes take up knitting.
Listen up you lot, it’s not my problem  you can’t keep your men, or women.
Okay maybe shouldn’t have said that.
You *******. Followed by, I’ll stick they knitting needles where the sun don’t shine. I’ll do another ten years for you.  Oh, and. ****** tossing *******.
What the hell happened to the gentle ***.
This was not how I expected things to turn out.
Let's get back to basics
Any of you lot want to go out tonight and get ******, have unprotected ***. I’m paying.
Computer’s going nuts now.
I’m in.  You’re the man. Why didn’t you just say that the first time.
*******, can I bring a friend.
Happy birthday Paul.

Nobody cries for yesterday
Not me, not you
Only the dead on the hill
Walk in the night
In this foolish world of lies
Where buildings mourn
And the world drowns
It was then
It was in that moment
I realised
You were maybe everything
I needed
To make my life complete
On this crazy journey, we call life
Every road has an ending
If you walk the distance asked
People stop and touch you for a time
Sometimes you’re grateful
Sometimes not
In the light of the house
You may see me looking in
The guy on the road
Finally realising
You were maybe everything
I needed
Wishing you happiness
On that crazy journey, we call life.