law of karma: energy will repeat itself untill we learn our lesson

I had never been afraid of you before
You were tall and strong
You had always been good to us
But the events of that summer
That were in no way your fault
Had left deep marks within me
I had now come to fear
The man who so willingly
Took care of us
Out of love for my mother
You were 2m10
The sight of you drove me on edge

And then playfully you snuk up on me
Grabbed me and roared
I had never been spooked before
I cried out of the depths on my heart
Fragile as I was,
I lost my trust in you entirely
It was in no way your fault
I barricaded myself in
Registered each scent
So I'd always know
Who is behind me
And even now
I could pick out anyone
Just by scent.

In a flash your face changed in to someone else, who I had come to resent

PTSD is a *****.

The similarities keep piling up.
He was about your size
The scent still haunts me
But what the hell
It really wasn't that bad!
I guess his actions
Spooked me too
And I lost my trust entirely
It was never his fault
My reptile brain screams
While pointing at him
Incriminating him of things
He has never done.

It all makes sense now.
I always knew it was me
Not him
I just didn't know how.
Willingly I clear him of all charges
It was just a game
And I didn't win
And that's ok.
I was never a sore loser
Just in flight
Of the monsters roaming wild
Inside of me.

please forgive me for doing all the things you never understood. Please know that neither did I. With a warm smile, I sent this out to your soul. It was never your fault. I knew it then too, I just couldn't figure it out

Dear Ebony,

I've watched you struggle
I've heard your frustration
And girl I get it
But let me tell you this

**** "Becky with the good hair"
Let your natural beauty
Come forth as it is
For it is truly
One of natures marvels
Wear your hair
The way you want it
But never forget
That you don't have to do anything
To enhance yourself
You're exquisite the way you are.
Don't worry about them lips
They're a jewel
On your royal features
Don't worry about the trousers
If they don't fit
Your beautifully curvatious body
The trousers are no match to you.
And **** the system
Wear that afro
And rock your the **** out
Of your flawless genes.

You're amazing,
Love,
The white girl

I lay in the deepest meditation
Conversing calmly
With the sweetest fraction of creation
The product of my imagination
Your scent lingers here
I have no attachment
To your physcal state

"Will it hurt"

"At first but you'll get used to it fast"

"How do you know"

"Because I know you"

Electricity ignited within my gut
And travelled to my heart
In all colors of the rainbow
I knew it must've been true
On some level.

She said I was history.
Then she said she would give me one more chance.
Then she said I didn’t deserve a second chance.
Then just as I was about to speak.
She said, I mean, who the hell do you think you are.
I was just about to say.
She said, this is definitely your last warning.
I was silent for a few seconds.
Well what do you have to say for yourself.
This is a wrong number.
What.
You’re not speaking to the guy you’re dumping.
Well why the hell did you let me rabble on.
To be truthful, I sort of get dumped a lot by phone, I just didn’t recognise the number.
That’s because you’re all jerks.
Well why don’t I take you out tonight to get over the ****.
Get knotted, consider yourself and the **** dumped.
Got a feeling she’ll phone back later and apologize, and then take me up on my offer, and when she gets to know me better.
She’ll definitely dump me.

It's nice here after all
This bumfuck town
Think I'll miss it
When I finally move
Back to the city
This summer
There's space here
Like there used to be
In my home town
Up north
Summers are pure and green
I think I'll miss it
Maybe I was never a city girl after all.

I was just a little girl
About 5 years old
As you made your second attempt
On my persona
Pushed me on to the table
And forcefully started
Removing my clothes

It had not been enough
That I had no compassion
Zero empathy
For what you claimed
To be sorrow over loneliness
go play with your own friends

Bet you had none.

The understanding came to me
In a split second
As I saw the blue light
Within the depths of my heart
Growing larger
Gathering power

I knew now
That I was not
To plead
To beg
To ask
But to demand
Like grown-ups demand

stop

The command left my lips
With the intensity of the Source
Compressed in to my lungs
Tears came to your eyes
I approached your sobbing body
And you ran
Like cowards run
Never having layed a hand on you
The blue flame saved me

And left me with no memory

The flowers are in bloom
In this majestic tree
That must have stood here
For decades
It still produces
After all these years

The dandelions gather strength
From the sun and the summer rain
The grass is greener on this side
The bushes that are to bear fruit
Pull their energy from the soil
Tirelessly filling our lungs
With clean air

The sunset is beyond compare
Painting the sky
In all variations of orange and pink
The silence of the approaching dawn
Is only suggested
By the grace of the setting sun

On the bench in this garden
Sat Death casually
Smoking a ***
With a distracted frown on his face
Waving away the passing butterfly
Coughing from the depth
Of his lungs
And spitting out the slimes.