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  Mar 2016 Sirenes
Gaffer
You’re probably wondering why I’m phoning you.
It’s a hello call.
Not exactly.
You’re having a lesbian baby.
No, but I am single again.
Don’t tell me you dumped that man woman.
Mary was the love of my life.
She was a brute, she would give tarzan a run for his money.
Never mind that, do you remember when I was finding myself.
Remember it well, I was entering, you said, I think I’m a lesbian.
I know, it was bad timing, but you taught me a lot.
So I did, my Cv now reads, think you’re straight, I’ll change that.
How would you like to do it again.
Okay, you’re beginning to worry me now.
No, I realise you can turn people, you have a gift.
What do you want to turn into.
I want to be a straight lesbian, sort of.
I would love to help, but I’m in a relationship.
That’s okay, I can wait a week or two.
That’s quite funny, see, only lesbians could make jokes like that.
I know, I think you can relesbianise me.
Are you on drugs or something.
No, I liked being in bed with you, you never done anything for me, but I appreciated the effort.
Gee thanks, I’ll update my Cv. Think you're straight, I’ll change that, you’ll be a lesbian tomorrow, with straight tendencies.
See, that’s what I like about you, you’re never bitter. You did say it was a battle to get me into bed, now I’m offering myself on a plate.
I appreciate that, but how does this make you a reborn lesbian.
That’s simple, I won't enjoy it with you, then I’ll realise what I’m missing.
Do you mean you’ll fake it.
Yes, but you won’t know.
I won’t.
No, I’ll dress provocatively and make all the usual noises.
I knew this would happen someday, the twilight zone would come along and take me away to a place where fairies would serenade me with
tea and biscuits. Okay, just realised, thats an old folks home.
Okay girl, let’s get faking.
Sirenes Mar 2016
I went to the wake
For dear passed Olaf
cheers buddy
I lost the filter on my mouth
Within 30 minutes
And it was like
I was myself again
I've never been proper
No need to pretend here

I finally spoke with her
The girl with whom I share an ex
And we avoided the subject
It was like a silent agreement
She was so much nicer
Than I thought!
She roared from laughter
As I swiftly rejected
The poor candidate...
Women are cruel

I walked to South Antwerp
Only to recognize
In-And-Out-Of-Jail-Joessef
I did not see your face
I just knew
But you know, we don't have to
Be friends or anything...
Carry on.

I drunk dialed my sister
Who then drove me
To party in a bumfuck town
And it was kind of fun
stop looking, it isn't going to happen
no matter how much you went to my highschool

But the beer was cheap
And the company was good
I'm starting to like this
Single girl deal
come and go as I please
Life's good.
Yeah. I'm not complaining about this.
Sirenes Mar 2016
I woke up with a heavy heart
Nothing made sense
All the visions
Between sleep and awake
Melted in to each other

I stood up
Slightly out of balance
Thinking that I'm just drowsy
But then my vision blurred
And I stumpled on to the couch
"I'm working, be quiet"
I heard her say
Inbetween the flashbacks

The flashbacks of you beating me
you will bend to my will
Words of deep resistance
Left my lips
As I curled up
You proceeded to violating me
And I screamed that one day
You'd wake up
Standing next to your body

This made you retreat each time
You cried in the corner
And I woke up
With no memory
Of what you did to me...

Deeply greatful
For the peace that I've found
I recover from this panic attack
And face another day
Where the future
Looks bright
And you're but a distant memory
I've found peace
And you're still sick.

I can handle my PTSD
And everything you did to me
There are no marks
And I've won over you
Once more.
Attitude is everything.
Embracing life <3
Sirenes Mar 2016
Last thing I’m going to say
About you
You have struck too much fear in my heart
And where as I understand that
You were scared too
That should not stop me now

Your shadow followed me today
As I walked down the street
Taking all the credit for what you did
But my heart is closed
It makes no difference
That you still love me
I’ve lost myself to someone else

Pointless as is may be
As that door is now closed too.
I lost that too.
But by the looks of you
You are still scared
And I’m still tired of your ****
I will take your help
And I know I’m helping you too

But still
If only ever wanted to trust
Like a fool
And gaze in another’s eyes
Without fearing that they
Would turn my plainly visible feelings against me
I only ever wanted to stay innocent.
Oh John, why art thou such a ****?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyp3k8AbGW8
Sirenes Mar 2016
I spend my time
Strolling back and forth
The shopping street
Not wanting to go home
As though there's something
To be found

I've watched a robbery
In a cigarette store
For the value of 17€
I smiled and tipped
The lady 12€ to help her
As she sobbed
Her fear away

I gave my coffee and a cigarette
To a homeless woman
And strolled around
Looking for the young girl
The homeless girl
With a puppy in her arms
Intending to dump out
My coin section in to her cup
As if the 7€ I gave her the other day
Wasn't enough

I've had lengthy conversations
With my cat
Who is not at all pleased
That we moved
He doesn't like
The new cats in this house
Mostly because he's scared
Continuesly complaining
That the water I gave him
Doesn't taste good
He wants a fountain instead

I've found all the Signs now
And I came to understand
That I did the same thing to you
As I did to the person who went before you.
The billboard said:
"Will we understand each other better?"
The ring that displayed an anchor
Whispered that I'm stuck
In still waters
I cried at the loss of you

If only I had understood
What I understand now.
And yes eye contact is still an issue
But maybe your eyes are not
That scary now
Maybe I'd spill all my emotions now
As though knowing
I cannot hide them anyway.
If only I had known better then.
I have now officially lost my mind.
  Mar 2016 Sirenes
Gaffer
She looks at the clock
Waiting
The unlocking of the door
No words
The distant looks
Separate rooms
Separate lives
Soon
Separate ways
The clock kept ticking
Ticking, ticking, ticking
Next week
Her new life
An hour passed
Strange
She felt it
That eerie feeling
Shook her
The doorbell ringing
Hit her like a bolt
The unlocking of the door
No words needed
So strange
The clock had stopped ticking.
Sirenes Mar 2016
I remember the first time
I layed eyes on you
The cracks on your body
Were right there
It was like you wanted
Me to see them
On some level

I saw nothing in your eyes
And I was immediatly drawn to you
Yet I saw no indication
That you felt it too
It was never in your eyes
But it must've been somewhere
Since I heard the exchange

"Did you know she was here"

"no man!"

My heart leaped
But then I saw more than
I could handle
Couldn't get that stupid smirk
Off my face for a week
Couldn't approach you
Any other way
Than the way I did...

But then I was drawn in to a pit
And seemingly you put it there
That's what it looked like:
A trap
A trap for humiliation
And shame.
But in hindsight
It all looks like a big accident.

And I guess I don't blame you now.
Just wish I could read your mind.
Just wish I could leave it behind.
And I do assume that you did.
But then why do I keep running in to you.
On street, in my head, in my dreams.

You left a trace within me
And never even flinched.
Need to put this past me, like yesterday.
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